Did I “Do It” Too Soon?

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africa_couple_noirWeb

Dear Black Man,

I met someone on the Black Planet website. We went out for dinner and immediately hit it off. I kissed on the first date … ugggggh… I couldn’t resist because there were so many sparks. The conversation was great. Dinner was excellent. It was an amazing time. After the date he never called. I finally got a hold of him about 5 days later and asked him to go to dinner. Instead I went to his place and he cooked for me. Guess what happened? Yes … we “did it.” It was kind of planned on both of our parts. I guess we both really wanted it and I know better. Now I am afraid he will never call me again and I really like him a lot.

Not that it matters but he’s black and I am white and we’re both professionals and 40 years of age. He drives me crazy. What should I do?

S&M

The Black Man:

Hi S&M,

It does seem like it was a little bit too soon for you to sleep with him since you really like him and there was no mutual clarity in your situation. I know it can be hard to control your emotions especially when you have strong feelings for someone and the sexual energy is in the air. My question to you is did he have a good reason for not calling you after your first date? You don’t want to be hung out there like a cat on a string chasing this guy and set up for disappointment and possibly just be used for sex. In this case I would wait to see if he reaches out to you. If he reaches out and you hang out again I would take it slow. If he does not I would cut your loss early, get over it and move on.

You can always look at it from the bright side; if he does not call you at least you know from the beginning what he was about rather than investing a lot of time in the situation.

Good Luck and I hope this helps.

TBM

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