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Dear Ask The Black Man,

I’m 27 and a single parent. I don’t do the club scene because I’m tired of seeing the same heads in there. For some reason I always meet up with the same type of men. They mostly lie about whether they are living with their baby mama; married, engaged or they have a girlfriend. Is that all that is out there? I think I am a pretty good catch: I am an honest woman, pay my own bills, cook, clean, take care of my kid and myself…why is it hard to find someone that is real?  I’m not looking for anyone that is perfect because I am far from it, but I would just like to meet someone that is going to appreciate me for who I am.

So tell me Ask The Black Man what’s really going on? I need some insight on all this.

-Losing Hope

Ask The Black Man:

Hello Losing Hope,

This is an issue that both women and men are having. I feel the root of the situation starts from within yourself if these are the same type of men you are encountering. There are plenty of men out there that are single, honest and successful. You must cut the cycle of dating these other types of men. My question to you is where are you meeting the men you date? A suggestion is to go to some professional mixers or events where the chance of meeting the type of men you have been dating in the past is much lower.

Lastly, the best advice I can give you is be clear on what you want in a man. Write down all of the qualities that you want in man. Be VERY specific. In many instances women are not clear with themselves in what they want in a man. Spell it out. Also open your self to meet that person and be patient. Focus on making your self-happy first and the right person will come along in time.

That’s my 99 Cents Worth.

ATBM

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