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Cissy Houston is speaking out for the very first time about losing her daughter, Whitney Houston. Cissy spoke to the New Jersey-based My9 station at the New Hope Baptist Church in Newark. In her conversation, Cissy acknowledges that she’s still very much in mourning. She explained, “I have my moments. I’m not there yet. I don’t think I’m any more courageous than anyone else. I am a true believer in God, if I could bring her back I would, but that’s not possible.”

As for her daughter’s drug abuse which subsequently led to her lose of life, Cissy says, “I know I did the best I could. I don’t blame myself. I know I did the best I could for everything.” And no matter what, Cissy knows what matters most: “I’m very proud of my daughter. She accomplished a whole lot in the short time that she had here . . .she was a very wonderful person.”

The full interview will air on Monday.

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