The Funniest Kevin Hart Quotes

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Kevin Hart has beeen taking over the comedy genre by storm starting with his stand up I’m A Grown Little Man. Since then, the Chocolate Drop has blown up! Here are a few of his funniest quotes:

Think Like a Man

Cedric: “What do you call the three rings of marriage? Engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.”

“I’m not saying it like that. No, I am. I am. It’s like that. Ms. Loretta, I’m ready for the rest of the tour!”

Scary Movie 3

C.J.: “So you’re telling me you can go to bed dead and wake up alive?”

“No it wouldn’t cause you can go to bed and not be dead, and you can die and not be in the bed.”

Scary Movie 4

C. J.: “Mmm. No, no. But you can’t be gone from one place and show up somewhere else entirely. So when you turn up, you’re never missing. And when you’re missing, you never turn up.”

“I just wanna eat some peanuts…See? Peanuts.”

Epic Movie

Silas: [to White B***h, in subtitles] Beat me like Bobby beats Whitney! Allegedly.

“I’m gonna go Jackie Chan on your ass!”

The 40 Year Old Virgin

Smart Tech Customer: “N***a, this dwarf here don’t got to be tall to pull a trigger off in somebody face!”

“Wait, wait, wait, last thing, last thing. I’m also gonna need that extended warranty on it for the price of… on the house. Hmm?”

“Well, ‘aight, check this out, dawg. First of all, you throwin’ too many big words at me, and because I don’t understand them, I’m gonna take ‘em as disrespect. Watch your mouth and help me with the sale.”

Soul Plane

Nashawn: “Ya we did party, it just like I told y’all we fly, we party, and we land.”

“Hello everybody and welcome to NWA airline. Here at NWA safety is a very important part of flying but I mean come on lets be real if something goes wrong we’re all going down right.”

Laugh At My Pain/Seriously Funny

“Ain’t gonna lie, I got the bill…I didn’t like it. You ever get a bill so high, you try to put it in the light, like it’ss gonna change.”

“You’re  like cheese without the corners, in other words you’ll never be a slice bitch!”

“I don’t like to hear woman argue…it makes my balls itch.”

“I think if you get kicked in the face you deserved it because that means that you watched the foot come to your face.”

“I DON’T have EX’s! I have Y’s. Like ‘Y the hell did I date you?!”

 

 

 

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