Multi-talented musician Wyclef Jean decided to celebrate his 43rd birthday in peculiar fashion. The longtime motorcycle enthusiast tweeted a picture of himself straddling a Ducati wearing nothing but Michael Phelps work clothes.
“TODAY I AM 43 YEARS OLD! I look And feel 26!,” he wrote. “U cant keep à good Man down! Keep à smile when they want you to frown!”
In his defense, several of Wyclef’s female fans encouraged him by tweeting that he looked good for 43. But a lot of us are scratching our heads at the midlife crisis cry for help.
On the one hand we can understand that Clef has been under a quite a bit of stress. Two years ago he lost his bid to be President of Haiti to a man who used to perform on stage in not much more than Clef is wearing in this photo, Michel “Sweet Mickey” Martelly. When he turned around to support the eventual President, he was shot in the hand…well….sort of. Then he released an autobiography claiming that he thought one of Lauryn Hill’s children was his, only to find out that it wasn’t.
And most recently he shut down his charity Yele Haiti amidst criticism that funds were misappropriated and that the charity had no presence in his home country. So maybe he was trying to give himself a pick-me-up. The photo was meant to say “Look at me world, I’m still standing….err…sitting.”
There is nothing wrong with a little esteem building, but why do it half-naked on a crotch rocket with “wata glistenin allova yo booody” and the bottom half looking like Ashy Larry from Chappelle’s Show? And in the rain? What is this a Missy Elliot video? So we have to ask…
Where were his boys?
Don’t you have people on the payroll to pull the plug on the kind of ideas that publicists keep the cyanide pill on deck for? I mean, they’re around with their palms up on payday faster than you can say platinum. But none of them were close enough to aim that palm at your eyes and say… well, what’s Creole for “This has got to stop?”
And what about your friends? Whoever took this shot for you is on Sean Penn’s payroll. It is the duty of a man’s inner circle to stop him from showing his ass (in this case almost literally). We know Clef has more swag than this. He gave us The Fugees, he put Destiny’s Child on the map and made Lil Wayne want to be Haitian. So what happened? Jerry Wonda, get your boy. Carlos Santana, get your boy. John Forte, get your boy. Fugg it. Shakira! Tell your man his hips didn’t lie either and the truth is they need some Aquaphor.
We need you to step away from the perfect pushup, drop the man-kini, the Crisco and the camera… ESPECIALLY the camera!”
This has been a 70’s baby PSA