Last night writer and host of “This Week In Blackness” Elon James White (@elonjames) started a tongue and swollen cheek discussion about the sex lives of “Street Fighter” video game characters that went so far off the rails that Amtrak is applying for government aid to clean up the aftermath.
RELATED: Don Lemon’s Haircut Breaks Twitter
It all started off innocently enough. One of our favorite writers and Twitter personalities @BrokeyMcPoverty inquired about the most amazing thing anyone has ever done while drunk. Elon recalled beating the brakes off some poor chap in “Street Fighter II” while knocking back some Whiskey.
RELATED: Pugilistic Linguistics: 25 Street Fighter Lyrics For The 25th Anniversary
That turned into a drunken Street Fighter/Bourbon tournament challenge (that should TOTALLY happen, btw) and then all hell broke loose into a sexually explicit group think.
https://twitter.com/elonjames/status/375061247604953088
Twitter avatars were getting punched in the face with vaginas and one of the best hentai porn scripts ever was conceived on Twitter.
The casting went something like this…
Dhalsim as Dirk Diggler
https://twitter.com/elonjames/status/375070648701157376
T-Hawk is out there going down face-first
https://twitter.com/vandeand/status/375070257271947264
M. Bison was outted as a human dildo..
https://twitter.com/vandeand/status/375069892493328384
Guile and Chun Li are an item
https://twitter.com/elonjames/status/375066621053661184
As are Ken & Ryu…
https://twitter.com/elonjames/status/375064755804729344
https://twitter.com/elonjames/status/375063993255088128
Even poor Akuma was thrown under the tournament bus. Elon did try to restore some order…
https://twitter.com/elonjames/status/375066956946083840
https://twitter.com/elonjames/status/375070505255989248
https://twitter.com/elonjames/status/375071072325881856
But it was too late. E. Honda was outted..
https://twitter.com/elonjames/status/375065195229351937
As were Zangief and Fei Long
https://twitter.com/elonjames/status/375068878780383233
And evidently the Vega put the “Bi” in Bison…
https://twitter.com/elonjames/status/375065735938076672
There will even be Fisting…and not in the way you think
https://twitter.com/elonjames/status/375069281467129857
Even some Mortal Kombat characters got drafted…
https://twitter.com/elonjames/status/375072414473793538
Luckily, CNN’s Don Lemon tweeted his haircut and derailed the conversation before the “Tekken” and “Samurai Shodown” crews were put on the stroll. All we have to say is that we are seriously considering going as M. Bison for Halloween this year.
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