Dear Black Man,

I can’t even get to the point of climax.  I get nothing out of it but I can’t stop having it. What is wrong with me and how can I get over this?

- Ms. Low End Theory

The Black Man:

Hi Ms. Low End Theory -

The way you phrased your question makes it seem like you did enjoy it at some point. I am assuming that you keep having it because you want to get back to the place of enjoying it.

Here are a few questions you may want to ask yourself:

Are you happy with the person(s) that you are having sex with? If so, are they doing the right things to please you?

Have you had any bad experiences involving sex (i.e. abused, taken advantage of, etc.)?

Are you in any sort of depressive state of mind or extremely stressed out over something?

Do you feel good about yourself?

If none of those questions are a factor then there may be some sort of mental block that you have in regards to being pleased during intercourse.

A couple of suggestions I have would be to:

1) Masturbate. Please yourself. Get back to the essence of what stimulates you.  Then emulate that with your partner.

2) Talk to a sex therapist or even a Kama Sutra. They may be able to help get you over this hump (no pun intended).

Good luck with overcoming this issue.

TBM