Comments on: Can A Man Wait Until Marriage To Have Sex?

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By: Dwight Frederick

Dwight Frederick — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 08:14:00 +0000

Hello My name is Dwight C. Frederick. I can dig what you are saying, and i can respect a girl who wants to wait until marriage. However, in my case it seems to be slightly complicated. My girl, Name is Rosesha Garnett. I love her and she is a Christain. When I met her she stated she went to church, and i had proof that i was and did the same. We had sex, and was in a relationship for a whole year.accidently, she got pregnant. Now she is saying i want to wait until marriage until we can continue. . I know you are laughin but, hey look at it from a mans perspective. it justn doesnt seem fair to me, because if she would of told me that from the start, i would of respected her wishes. Now that she has a kid and now she got her man she needs she wants to make these statments. thats insane to me. so please pray for us and i would do the same. im not sayin that i dont trust her, but when people goes back and forth on things they say, it makes me think that somethin else is going on. I dont believe in putting god in mess, and i hope she understands that .

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By: x_baby_x_doll_x

x_baby_x_doll_x — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 23:18:36 +0000

I’m a Christian 17 year old girl, I’m not a virgin but I gave up sex and now practice abstinence. Sometimes I feel like it is difficult to find a man who is willing to wait until marriage. I’ve met guys who are “christians” and who claim they love God but they are not willing to wait until marriage. They said that they can’t wait that long and that they will only be with me if i have sex because they dont wanna cheat on me.
I know I deserve better than that but even my girlfriends say I won’t find a man who won’t have sex until marriage so i might as well have sex.
I do not want to disobey the Lord, the only thing that keeps me going is the fact that He has someone for me who is willing to wait and I just pray to God i meet him soon. It is good to read that there are still some men who r waiting until marriage, thats good, it gave me some hope that not all good men have died out lol

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uberVU - social comments — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 13:21:16 +0000

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This post was mentioned on Twitter by Theurbandaily: Can A Man Wait Until Marriage To Have Sex?: Hello Blackman,
I am a 21-year-old African American Christian woman.. http://bit.ly/3aEU1…

By: Butterfly_Bowles

Butterfly_Bowles — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 00:36:55 +0000

WHATS FUNNY IS THAT, I TOO A 22 YEAR OLD AFRICAN AMERICAN FEMALE WHO IS SAVING HERSELF FOR MARRIAGE. I LOST MY VIRGINITY AT THE AGE OF 19, AND HAVE BEEN WITH THE SAME PERSON EVER SINCE WE BROOKE UP AT THE AGE 21. I AM FOCUSED ON MY CAREER AND A TEACHER AND A BUSINESS OWNER. AFRICAN AMERICAN MEN AREN’T INTO THE WAITING AND GETTING TO KNOW THING, BUT WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN…MY DAD ALWAYS TOLD ME, IF I AM GOOD ENOUGH TO HAVE A CHILD BY SOMONE I SHOULD BE GOOD ENOUGH TO MARRY. I HAVE NOT YET FOUND SOMEONE WHO WILL WANT TO EXPERIENCE THIS BEHAVIOR WITH ME. AND YOU WHAT, I’M NOT LOOKING. I’M TIRED OF BEING OUT CAST FROM A LOT OF THINGS THAT HAS TO DEAL WITH SEX. I STILL WOULD ENJOY GOING OUT TO PARTIES, DANCING AND HAVING A GOOD TIME. HOWEVER, MY FRIENDS FEEL THAT BECAUSE I HAVE CHOSEN TO BE ASEXUAL BEFORE MARRIAGE, THAT EVERYONE SEXUAL OR HAVING TO DEAL BEING “SEXY” (DRESSING SEXY, LOOKING SEXY LOL) IS OUT OF THE PICTURE. I MYSELF DESERVES THE BEST OF EVERYTHING, I AM SOMEONE TO BRING HOME TO MOTHER/FATHER, AND TRUE LADY INDEED. I ENCOURAGE WOMEN ALL OVER TO BEGIN TO LOVE AND HONOR THEMSELVES, GET TO KNOW HOW THEY ARE FIRST BEFORE ENGAGING INTO ANYTHING WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

By: trustworthy17

trustworthy17 — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 04:52:59 +0000

Everything the “BLACKMAN” just said. my comment consist of the Blackman’s statements verbatim.

By: dymond4u2c

dymond4u2c — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 03:38:21 +0000

Some of these comments..hmm. Being a virgin is a wonderful thing if that is what you choose for you. I am a 25 year old, non virgin who is the mother of a 5 year old daughter. I have my degree in Philosophy with a concentration in pre-law. I don’t get any assistance from the government and I have dated men since I had her. I have dated men and not had any sexual activity and they pursued my mind and not my body and I have had a serious relationship where I chose to be intimate and they stuck around. I do not know how I feel about marriage but I have come across plenty of good men..even though I didn’t wait and obviously I have 5 year old living proof. Just because you have sex before marriage does not always mean you have bad character or are irresponsible; Sometimes people just make decisions based on their heart; I made a decision and I became a mother (a good one might I add). I do not judge virgins and I do not judge non virgins..I don’t judge anyone. Do whats right for you but don’t tear others down because they don’t live like you.

By: schoolcharm

schoolcharm — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 15:41:33 +0000

What makes a virgin think her man will be worth it after marriage? If she’s doing it for her sake, then fine. But she can stop making herself feel as if she’s the chosen lamb.

What if a guy insisted not to part with of any money to spend time with you unless you’re married to him? Lemme guess, then he would be selfish.

By: Eagle20

Eagle20 — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 20:51:35 +0000

I’m sorry, but I need a slut in the bedroom..!!! I don’t have time to teach a grown woman how to get freaky….!!!

By: DangerouslyInLove

DangerouslyInLove — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 03:14:05 +0000

Yes, there are men that can and are waiting until marriage to have sex, I know 3 of them. There’s someone out there looking for a girl just like her. All I can say is if that’s what you want to do, stand firm on your beliefs. You will find someone.

By: msveevee1

msveevee1 — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 01:09:03 +0000

It is also written in the bible that some ppl are not meant to marry at all. Those are the ppl that God has a special mission for. He wants them to do something in Jesus’ name that is so extreme and so rewarding that having a mate may cause inteference in His Devine Plan. So I guess it is what it is for most and what it ain’t for some. All I know is, just like everybody on this earth want to be deeply in love and involved, in this society and day in time, there’s no such thing in love and marriage, but lust and sinly desires. I’ve accepted that I won’t get married in this lifetime. There’s nobody I’m really interested on this earth no more. To me, all of them (men) are on the enemy’s side and I’d rather be alone and serve God on my lonesome.

By: shilee1

shilee1 — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 22:26:46 +0000

I think A “REAL” man can Mos Def wait until marriage to have sex……..we are a sexual nation and if a man can by pass ALL the sex on TV, ALL the sex in movies, ALL the sex on songs, then that is a STRONG man, and most likely a GOD faring man!!!!!!!!!! and that’s the Kinda man ANY women in her right mind would LOVE to marry………..just like Malcolm X when he went about 8 or 9 years without any sex and WASN’T EVEN thinkin of sex, he was just thinkin about SERVIN his GOD……….and that’s VERY attractive to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By: butterflycover

butterflycover — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 15:07:39 +0000

Also a Man of no substance would not wait that long, for intimacy, Men know that there is quality in waiting they just will never let this secret out of the Bag!

By: butterflycover

butterflycover — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 15:05:21 +0000

Men are willing to wait. My advice is to date many many Men. Send multiple messages to Men you find interesting. Not necessarily the ones who are screaming I am a Christian. Dating is a numbers game now a days, that is why celibacy is so important. For those that are not going to go cold turkey a 6 month wait may be a Good Start! Sex really should never enter the conversation till you are ready, so mentioning celibacy is that that important. It is easy to get way to deep when dating one man at a time. Internet dating is very good for screening from my experience.

By: anjanettepotter1

anjanettepotter1 — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 13:26:02 +0000

If you have ever read the story of Jacob and Rachel in the Bible you’ll see that he loved her so much that he worked for her father for 7 years in order to marry her. His love for her was so strong that those 7 years seemed like only a few days (Genesis 29:20). I believe that men do what they want to do. If a man is sold out to Jesus Christ and loves God (and you) with all of his heart he’ll because he realizes that he donesn’t belong to himselfu anymore but to God and his body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. That realizes that he is accountable to God in all things, including his sex life. He also realizes that by obeying God that he is already loving his future wife by protecting her from disease and the fruit of infidelity.

By: Cmoore_78

Cmoore_78 — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 12:53:02 +0000

CD, truth be told having sex with a man doesn’t make him hang around. Once you give the most precious thing away, there is NO getting it back. There are MEN who are waiting until marriage. I know 5 (3 virgins and 2 that stopped and waited on God to send them their wives).

Also, I read someone post about “knowing plenty of virgins that did everything but(t).” They ARE NOT virgins…let me just point that out. A virgin is one who is sexually pure NO anal, oral nor copulation of ANY KIND. (Sorry but I needed to be sure that I clarify this.

Our society has too many believing that LUST is Love and if a man won’t wait on you, HE does NOT deserve you. POINT BLANK

Now concerning your comment about finding a good man, you are NOT supposed to find him. The bible says “Whoso findeth a WIFE, findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour of the Lord.” Prov. 18:22

Please do not worry about what other people in the building (we are the church, where we assemble is just brick, nails, dry wall and wood). They are NOT the standard, Jesus is. God said He would not withhold no good thing from us. Keep in mind that His way is NOT just RIGHT, it is better.

To wrap up, as for as not knowing how to please a man. Sex is a two way street, his goal is to please you too. He will have to find out what you will like and what turns you on. NO ONE was BORN innate abilities to know how to please the other person, even if a person is having sex; they STILL have to learn and find out what the next person likes and doesn’t like.

You are a virgin because you made a decision to live for God and honor His Word which warns against fornication and sexual immorality. Now I just want to encourage to TRUST God with your sex life too. Contrary to popular beliefs, God is pro sex….He is the one who created it, he has the manual.

If you need more encouragement to hold on, read Single, Saved and Having Sex by Ty Adams. We only have surface discussions about sex, no one engages in real conversations about it. Even those who are so dead set on telling you that you are silly for holding on.

See no one talks about how they felt when they got pregnant and dude left because he got 2 other girls pregnant, dude is NOT going to tell you that he has Herpes Simplex 1 and 2 as a teen because 1 in 2 black teens in the US has Herpes. Or the pain dude felt when the girl decided to abort his unborn child. Not to mention, he probably isn’t aware that he has it; however this fact doesn’t prevent it from being spread to the next person, women that only went to get their yearly pap but got news that there were abnormal cells because of Human Papilloma Virus (HPV which can cause Penile, anal, vulvar and cervical cancer). Let’s not even talk about the number of HIV positive the ones who know and don’t know, still having sex and spreading it without a care because they just GOT to have it.

Trust GOD and know that HE is concerned about you. Marriage is not a contract, it is a convenant. Honor God with your body and watch what He does. Listen to HIS voice. God bless you!

By: Clayton_Powell

Clayton_Powell — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 05:05:41 +0000

Peace to you all who strong enough to wait. I lost my virginity at 16 and I been rollin ever since lol. It’s alot of pressure on a man tryna abstain from sex. Male culture in this society is basically sports and sex, and if you aren’t with both of those, guys look at you alil sideways unfortunately. But good luck to all of you, I hope yall find some keepers and jump them brooms lol.

By: crazychamel

crazychamel — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 04:55:13 +0000

CD, sexual purity is the way to go! Respect your body and remember that your body is a temple of God. Keep your eyes focused on Him and you won’t go astray. Don’t be gullible like society and allow yourself to follow in its’ path of destruction.

By: Idontwannaknow26

Idontwannaknow26 — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 04:52:51 +0000

I am a man who will wait to be married first before having sex with a female but finding a female to be willing to also is very hard to find. I am a religious individual who believes in morals and family. I am a what you call, a black sheep because I do not follow the crowd but I follow one man and that man is Jesus Christ and the Bible is my guide for how I live my life.

By: sweeterthanhoney6189

sweeterthanhoney6189 — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 04:25:30 +0000

onyx11_76

If A Woman Wants 2 Find A “Good Man”(A Man Of God). Her Best Bet Is 2 Repent 4 Having Sex Or Be A Virgin..U Cant Have A Good Marriage, A Good Relationship, Friendship, if U Dont Have God In Ur Life. & People Who R Having Sex Usually Dont Really Care That The Bible Says Not 2 Have Sex B4 Marriage(So, That’s What I Meant). I Wasn’t Trying 2 B Funny Or Mean. Its Just The Truth. If U Ignore The Word, Then God Will Ignore U..& I Am Young But Im Old Enough 2 Know That Men Respect Women That Wait…(Regardless of The Situation)

By: SXY703MAMI4U2NV

SXY703MAMI4U2NV — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 04:11:55 +0000

First off I am so happy that someone finally said something about this….I too am practicing celebacy. It is extremely hard in the dating scene now days when you are not sexually active. Just when I think that I have found a nice guy, he says thats he “can’t go without sex” or that “he doens’t want to cheat on me and break my heart” It get so hard sometimes that I wonder if I will ever find a man willing to wait…

By: soveu34

soveu34 — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 03:48:31 +0000

There are some good men out there who will wait and appreciate that you want him to be the first to do that eternal dance with. Be upfront with them and if they can’t wait til they marry u than show them the door.

In this day and age it is a rareity for some women, our society has drunken the vial of hedonism every thing goes as for peer pressure if a
friend is a real friend they wont encourage u to deflower yourself with

just anyone a real friend will understand and have your back peace and
many blessing on finding the right man