Black Women Are Looking For Their “Barack”
Megan K. Scott of the Associated Press wrote an article this week about the president’s name becoming a new buzz word in the dating scene when it comes to a woman’s ideal man.
She writes:
Monica Weeks has met many men, but at age 51 she says she still hasn’t found her “Barack.”
Among Weeks and her friends, U.S. President Barack Obama’s name has become shorthand for a black man with integrity, character and spirituality, one who loves and values his wife and makes his family a priority – in other words, the kind of man that many black women had despaired of finding.
Weeks said probably every single woman she knows is looking for her “Barack.”
“He absolutely makes me think it’s attainable,” said Weeks, a divorced mom in Somerset, N.J. “For women who are older and seeking a man, I think we can look at him and say, ‘All is not lost.”‘
The story is the same elsewhere among black women, who say the new code word for Prince Charming has become so commonplace that they have been asked “Have you found your Barack?” or told others “I’m looking for my Barack.”
Obama’s sex appeal hasn’t hurt – what other president would get high marks in a swimsuit competition? But he has touched a nerve among black women in particular, who consider him an IBM (Ideal Black Man) – educated, eloquent, tall, attractive, family oriented, ambitious and down to earth.
For years, single black women have been commiserating about the perceived shortage of eligible black men. It’s laughed about in movies (”Waiting to Exhale”) and backed up with statistics: The May unemployment rate for black men was 16.8 per cent for those ages 20 and older, compared to a national rate of 9.8 per cent for all adult men. Black women outnumber black men almost 2-to-1 on college campuses. Most black babies are born to unwed mothers.
“There are a large number of African-American women who have largely given up on finding a mate,” said Sheri Parks, associate professor of American studies at the University of Maryland. “Their men are not there.”
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Comments (58)
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thesymbol6-25-2009 8:51 pm
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game-tight6-24-2009 7:43 pm
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ladymizvee6-24-2009 10:17 am
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Jauharah6-24-2009 6:36 am
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wundawuman6-23-2009 7:15 pm
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OR_EI6-22-2009 3:43 pm
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OR_EI6-22-2009 3:42 pm
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LuvBeauti6-21-2009 3:10 pm
« Previous 1 2 3Pop Quiz – R U Good 4 an IBM (Ideal Black Man)?
1. What is most valuable to you in life?
2. What do you have to offer an IBM that’s unique and meaningful?
3. What positive Black Male role models have you had in your life?
4. If your relationships with Black Men have been negative thus far, what – if any – responsibility do you accept in those failed relationships?
I am often asked how to find good companions and the bottom line is this: look in the mirror. Birds of a Feather flock together. Good Brothas ain’t got time for clubbin – unless its on the Golf Course.
Sistas! Elevate & self-educate. Disassociate from any reprobate. Eliminate all of your self hate. Appreciate what is yours innate. Appropriate your Higher State. And be The Mate not The Date.
All that is good…
Is worth the Wait!
see ladymizvee is as right as you can get. i see that most woman looking for that mr. right or obama as yall saying it now but miss out on a key detail. maybe you doing something wrong since you aint found mr. right. 4real stop blaming men on why you always messing wit the wrong person. sounds like you doing something wrong personally. i think kat williams said it best. if you 25 and still complaining that niggas aint s**t then it must mean that you a aint s**t woman. lets just be real. not to talk down to any of my beautiful black sisters.
and for the one that said black men leave black women once they get on, understand this, if you wasnt there, i mean really there when he was tryna become successful then what makes you think he gone keep you around when he get on. just because you was there since the beginning dont mean anything if all you did was complain about the situation when yall didnt have a dime.
and lastly, most black men run with different women of different races is because it seems as though black women have a complex to the word submission. now i can hear all yall tripping now but its the truth. the first lady got obama cuz she doesnt mind letting her man be the man. point blank period. its a mentality that stems back though. you was raised by a single black woman so all your life she taught you to not depend on a nigga for s**t. and that way of thinking is what drove black women to think that if a black man aint got everything then we have nothing.
you cant find something real if you aint real yoself. aint no one perfect and love aint about what you like about a person, your love is judged on the fact that you wanna be with him after all his flaws. lets be real ladies
This is funny. I did have one friend, now separated from her husband, saying she wanted her “Barack.” And she may find him. But no, I’m not hearing a bunch of sistas talking about finding their “Barack.” And even if they were, they gotta remember one thing…to get a Barack, they’ve gotta be a Michelle.
Many have said that black women should be looking for a good man period. This applies to all races of women who ultimately want the same thing; a good man who is a good provider and has an even temper and isn’t an embarassment in public. Someone who will make her feel like royality because his loyalty is to her. I think Barack and Michelle are not the norm in the black relationship. I say this because they are both intelligent and successful in their individual right. Whereas a black woman cannot co-exist with a black man if she has more education and intelligence because the black male ego is too fragile to permit “his woman” to outdo him. A successful black man generally thinks he’s too good for a black woman and so pursues white or asian (read Chinese; Korean; Japanese etc) especially if these women “worship the ground he walks on”.
I never thought I’d find my match; but I did and he’s no black boy/man. I realized long ago that happiness was not going to be found with one nor would my heart truly be able to love a black man simply because the ones that passed through my life weren’t worthy of me (and from what I’ve seen they now realize the error of their ways and are dying inside because I want nothing to do with them).
Black women need to be more open minded and also look at men of other races who also have love for us. Hey Barack is biracial. lol. Our men do it without a second thought. Black men dont compromise when they are looking for a woman so why should you? There are many great hardworking honest black men out there but you have to love yourself enough to give them a chance and leave the dogs alone. Im out.
P.S
Manipulation is not a quality I readily seek in a companion.
*SIGH…. Were here but some light really needs to be shed on what MICHELLE is doing as a black woman to be all she can be for her “Barack” I’m sure a high percentage is lacking and dont have the energy to uphold or maintain her standards. The faith, love and support she offers would surely make any man want to be all he can be for her and his family. We are here ladies just stop waiting for ‘Barack” to become successful and get on board while the potential is burning within our hearts. Will the real Mrs. OBAMA pllease stand up!!!
My slogan is….”If you can’t love me like President Barack love Ms. Michelle…than we not gone make it lol”…they are just a beautiful couple!!