I’m a publicist with a publicist; my inbox has a continuous flow of event invitations. The venues span the very posh to the neighborhood dive bar. The venue doesn’t necessarily dictate the success or the importance of the event, but unfortunately I’ve noticed a sad, growing trend of dive bar events promoted as Red Carpet affairs run by circus monkeys with few to no contacts.
Red Carpet events are reserved for celebrities, distinguished trendsetters and tastemakers.
Promoters, stay in your lane and earn your stripes! Trying to front a hood party by promoting it as a Red Carpet affair is a slap in the face to valid Red Carpet events meant to honor the arrival of a who’s who crowd and other influential guests.
Walking the Red Carpet is a coveted privilege that should never be defiled by a shady shindig where folks walking “the carpet” present themselves grimier than a derelict posted on the corner of 145th & Broadway.
Sad, but true, I once arrived at an event that used an unrolled table cloth as the red carpet. It was incredulous. I have more class than to drop the hosts’ names but you can be damn sure Arie didn’t walk the table cloth!
Repeat after me, “death to ghetto red carpets!”
Until we teach promoters to stay in their lane, your girl Arie has tips to help preserve your dignity and distinguish a real celebrity gala from a catastrophic hood jam. Remember, “Image is everything,” what takes only a second to destroy takes a lifetime to repair.
Together though we can save you and your clients from becoming victims at “red table cloth” event [laughing]. Let’s Go!
Early Prevention:
Stay away from events with misspelled promotional ephemera, overbearing re-tweet invitations and spam mail invitations. Misspelled banners or a banner mended together with masking tape may imply that the promoters are inept or downright careless. Either way, don’t risk being caught mingling with a bunch of boneheads. Your time is better spent elsewhere.
If you’re in doubt, discretely ask around: peers, public relations professionals and even well organized street teams are great sources of information.
Same Day Prevention:
A building’s facade can be deceiving but take notice of the actual carpet. True red carpet events have Red Carpets! If the walk to the door isn’t bedecked by a real carpet or if the carpet has more stains than a Motel Six bedspread in Newark leave the vicinity immediately!
Early Damage Control:
A real red carpet event does not require nine promo teams sifting through multiple, unorganized VIP/RSVP lists. Official red carpet hosts are savvy and know who’s who before they arrive.
Think about the entrance to a “Super Cuts” versus a fabulous spa. If it feels like you just entered the former, save yourself the grief and exit without delay. The chaos at the door is a certain precursor to a disastrous event. Good Lord, imagine the dysfunctional bottle service.
If entry to the event requires a hand stamp – GET OUT FAST!
Impromptu Damage Control:
Once inside, look at your surroundings. Are attendees drinking out of Dixie cups or eating hors d’oeuvres off paper plates? It’s time to leave. These ghetto-fabulous promoters are more interested in frugality than distinction. A red carpet event is not a glorified high school house party.
Be observant: are the attendees standing around craning their necks trying to find a VIP? Don’t be a gawker. Quickly and without attracting attention proceed to the closest exit and chalk the event up to a lesson well learned.
Red carpet affairs are dress to impress events. Are you surrounded by chicken-heads with more muffin tops than Starbucks? Follow the previous escape instructions and treat your fine looking self to a latte – better to be fabulous at Starbucks then be caught cavorting with hood rats.
As always, Said Arie has your back – and your dignity!
Have other pointers or want to tell us what you think? Hit your girl up on Twitter @saidarie.
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