A.C. Green was able to wait...
Hello Blackman,
I am a 21-year-old African American Christian woman who is saving herself for marriage. Quite frankly, I feel like I am one of the last of a dying breed of excellent women. It seems to be hard to find a good black man who appreciates me for who I am. What man wants to deal with a girl who won’t satisfy his sexual needs until after marriage?
CD
The Blackman:
Hi CD,
I think the way society is designed these days it is tough to find that match. It is not impossible though. Just like anything else, once you find something great you should cherish it.
Society has transformed a lot throughout the years where pre-marital sex is not looked at as taboo anymore. In some ways it has helped certain situations and in other cases it has not. For example it has stopped some people from getting married and realizing that lust was the premise of their relationship. On the flip side it has made someone overlook a person that they would otherwise be compatible with but since pre-marital sex was not in the equation, they looked past the person.
The age of when people get married has changed as well. Nowadays it is common for people to get married in their 30′s, unlike in the past where most people were married with children in their 20′s.
Sex has become a big emphasis in our society, rather than religion where premarital sex is forbidden. This factor makes it tougher for people to abstain until marriage. A majority of the things that you see in the multimedia platform of our society have a sexual innuendo to it.
It is also difficult in your case because the men in your age range are going through their sexual prime, so they may not be looking to settle at that point of their lives.
Look at yourself as a diamond in the ruff and be open to receiving a gem for a lifetime partner. There are men out there that will respect the fact you want to save yourself for marriage and will see your value beyond sex.
Since you are a Christian woman, a good place to look for man who will value that is at Church. That’s not saying that you can’t find men elsewhere that will honor that but they can relate to where you are coming from. Be patient and you will find someone that will appreciate you.
Good Luck,
TBM
