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I Don’t Enjoy Sex Anymore. Please Help!

Written by Ask The Black Man on August 5, 2009 12:55 pm

Dear Black Man,

url1 I can’t even get to the point of climax.  I get nothing out of it but I can’t stop having it. What is wrong with me and how can I get over this?

- Ms. Low End Theory

The Black Man:

Hi Ms. Low End Theory -

The way you phrased your question makes it seem like you did enjoy it at some point. I am assuming that you keep having it because you want to get back to the place of enjoying it.

Here are a few questions you may want to ask yourself:

Are you happy with the person(s) that you are having sex with? If so, are they doing the right things to please you?

Have you had any bad experiences involving sex (i.e. abused, taken advantage of, etc.)?

Are you in any sort of depressive state of mind or extremely stressed out over something?

Do you feel good about yourself?

If none of those questions are a factor then there may be some sort of mental block that you have in regards to being pleased during intercourse.

A couple of suggestions I have would be to:

1) Masturbate. Please yourself. Get back to the essence of what stimulates you.  Then emulate that with your partner.

2) Talk to a sex therapist or even a Kama Sutra. They may be able to help get you over this hump (no pun intended).

Good luck with overcoming this issue.

TBM

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DAILY LINKS

 
  • http://www.blackplanet.com/DA_GEORGETOWN_MAYOR/ DA_GEORGETOWN_MAYOR

    Kama Sutra IS WITCHCRAFT FOLX, DONT FALL FOR IT! I SUGGEST SMOKIN A BLUNT! STUDIES HAVE PROVEN THIS ONE!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/BEAUTIFUL1NAMILLI0N/ BEAUTIFUL1NAMILLI0N

    a blunt doesnt always work because i dont enjoy sex anymore and i know for a fact i tried a blunt and it was still the same interaction. i believe she is just lookin for more then just plain sex. i mean u can try all the postions and toys with your partners but sex is a mental state in your mind u can turn off and turn on. i bet u if u go out with a real good man, dinner and a movie and he takes u home and just gives u the kiss good night and walk away u will get HOTT! your use to gettin it. find someone that is goin to make you chase it. [not the same as chasing a man]. trust bring some excitment.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/crammasters/ crammasters

    Sister, that’s your spirit talking to you

    telling you that you to abstain from sex

    and spend more time developing and respecting yourself

    black men and women treat our bodies like sexual garbage cans

    garbage in, garbage out…

    in the end, all you’re left with is a stinking mess

    Wondering why you are so unhappy, and dissatisfied

    my bet is you have slept with (many)men in the past, getting sexual pleasure, but feeling empty inside. (no disrespect intended)

    I’d like to suggest a book, “Midnight: A Gangster’s Love Story” by Sister Souljah

    After you read it, you will understand that black men and women need a cultural revolution (stop imitating white people)

    that will teach us how to respect ourselves, and respect our bodies, and develop new traditions that are black-loving, and black-self-respecting.

    in the meantime, keep your legs closed,

    until a good man, who respects you and loves you, has opened your heart

    and is willing to make you his wife

    peace

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/demoshe/ demoshe

    Its because you do it too much! you have to starve yourself for a long time in order to miss it and want to do it when the time comes!

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