I know of the PERFECT article that addresses this issue. Gol to the following link, and it is the very first article. GREAT READ! http://bit.ly/aJocm2

okay i have been asking my self the same thing why do i keep hooking up or, ending up with the same type of woman ,and i know it is something with in me , i have not dated for 2 years because i do not want the drama i get with the woman i seem to have picked , i am taking this time to learn who i am .

I am right in line with the brother who asked the question. I am a 26 year old majoring in C.J./Sociology and I keep running into women with some of those same issues. I have been doing some soul searching to find out what I can do to attract the type of woman I would love to settle down with. I understand that it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy that what you put out there is what you are going to get back. Additionally, I know that I am not going to read some blog site that discredits and continues to degrade black women while continuing to separate black men and women(that site is not an answer), that sure is not going to solve my problem as I have a deep love for black women and I know there are good ones out there and the problem is how do I know that off the back.

I think the brother who asked the question does not know that these women have issues until after he starts talking to them. He wants to know how to not attract the bad apples and waste time getting to know them. I believe the answer that the author of this article presented was somewhat in line with what I was thinking, particularly the part about switching where to meet these women.

This is just proof the good black men still exist but we keep running into bad apples and getting overlooked by the good ones.

If you want a respectable mate stop dating American women for a start and any woman influenced by this society of women. Even with that advice it’s still 2010 so Good Luck.

Well…this is an interesting topic. Mr. T…How about this…why don’t you stop TRYING TO FIND that right woman and just find who you are and what you want for yourself first. When you occupy your life with goals and seek to improve yourself as an individual…that woman will find you! I am a Canadian woman and my man is American…funny he was screaming the same phrase “why can’t I find the right woman right here where I live?” and low and behold, I found him…in the U.S. while I was on vacation…and without saying too much…a very historical time for America. He wasn’t even looking and neither was I. I could be ignorant and say “look for her outside the U.S.” or “don’t date American woman” like some men believe but trust me, my dear, there are great American women out there as I can advocate for my American female cousins who have happy marriages but I agree with the response of TBM…change up where you meet these women and be clear as to what you want in a woman. Just add the idea of “…not intentionally looking” and I’m sure fate will bring that lady to you.

F**KING F**K BAWHAHAHAH Y ALL WANNA WRITE A F**KING BOOK INHERE. POURING YOUR GUTS OUT AND WIPING YOUR S**T RIIIGHT HERE. DAMN IT!!! THE REASON WHY U KEEP ATTRACTING LOCO B***HES IS COZ YOU ARE A LOW SELF ESTEEM MOFO, NOW STOP YOUR P***Y CRYING , ITS PTHETIC. MAN THE F**K UP!!!!!!!!!

I NEVER PICK IDIOTS. I HAVE SELF ESTEEM, WHEN I SEE AN IDIOT I TELL HIM B***H GO PLAY WITH YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS!!! NO TIME TO WASTE TIME. LIVING MY LIFE LIKE ITS GOLDEN.

MAN THE F**K UP!!! PUSSSY

DATE OTHER TYPES OF WOMEN…you attract the same type of women you date until you change up the pattern…if you date older women there is just some weird thing about it but long story short they will always be attracted to you, same with color…..only thing you cant dodge is shape and size. they come in all size and shape. and only way to break that cycle you just have to chose…what shape and size. but if you chose to mess with this one over that one you are damned and will be stereotyped. best way to do is date a variety from the jump.

It’s quite a situation that is normal, I myself find that I get in that zone, sometimes too, except I have access to black women who are my equals- unfortunately, most of them are mentally damaged and are ‘actresses who want to be white people’ and that’s not my deal. If you’re a black, professional male, or just a dude who refuses to act stereotypically black, you’re either going to be lonely, you’re going to have to date interracially, or you’re going to have to bag nothing but broads with problems (if you hope to meet your monthly puzzy quotas that is). Black women have the idea that black men are either gay, in jail, thugs, or just plain womanizers- nothing else, no other categories for us to be in. Black women, especially the ones with things going for themselves, do not want that kind of guy. He’s called corny, boring, not exciting, by default, that the stereotype of this particular black guy, and unfortunately, while it may or may not be true, they’re not going to give you the shot to show what you are. Even if these women are in your school, doing exactly what you’re doing, coming from the same path you came from, they’re NOT interested in you- they’re looking for millionaires and white men, only, at that level, unfortunately. So what does that leave? IR dating, and women who are not quite up to snuff. The mental issues, drama, that’s all women, you can’t avoid that, but women who are looking for guarantees and escape from their lives, will be drawn to guys like this, because they’re easy marks. They know they can get over on that kind of non-stereotypical (the negative kind) black man, 9 times out of 10, because he’s not hip to the game, and will make you pay for the lame dudes they’ve dated. The most common chick, like this, is one with a gang of babies already, looking for this dude to fix problems the did not create. Dude is just going to have to keep options “open”, but good luck finding a black women, who is your exact equal. They are NOT interested, you’re not advanced enough for them. If you have “good hair”, maybe they’ll feck with you. lol

‘m just like that guy they described….I’m single, never been married, in jail, or on drugs or had children out of wedlock…I’m looking for a GREAT woman who has the attributes like my mom: can cook, talented( she could sing, dance, do art like ME), and was BEAUTIFUL…..but she doesn’t have to have ALL the attributes like my late, great mom had…just be affectionate, a freak, have nice T and As and is a HOTTIE: no hoodrats, gold diggers, drama queens,chickenheads, and last but least no BUTTAFACES…..

@jazzwatch, that’s why you are like the gentlman that submitted is question. It’s obvious your looking more on the outside then the in. Good luck.@ Paneiro1 what do you mean stop dating american women are you serious, what about us stop dating american men. If that happen then that will be another topic for blck men to bash black women. We can’t win for losing. To the gentleman that sent his letter in, why not try dating an older women.

People attract and are attracted to people for different reasons. To most men it starts with the “physical” and works it way from there,that’s why if we meet a female and liked what we saw when we met her, would be equally offended if ANYTHING changed to alter that “first chance” visual. Women conversely,can meet a man and erroneously think she can alter or mold him to her specifications. Ain’t gonna happen.
My point is,you settle for these type of females because YOU don’t think you can do any better OR your “inner Lion” ain’t as powerful as you wish it to be OR a “truly strong” woman scares the absolute shyt outta you. Trust me,we KNOW when we are out of our league and know what fights to pick.
How many guys here went to the club and saw THAT female whose aura said “your game had better be on point” and said female sits there all nite without ANYBODY stepping to her? But,the booty-shaking hood-rat would NEVER have that problem because no matter how lame your game is this this heffer is gonna get splacked tonite!(Alicia Keyes vs Fantasia senario)
This dude is cheating himself because I see broke-ass niggas using good females on the regular. A Black Man with a job is rarer than the California Condor. He should have NO problem in being a metaphorical “Little Red Corvette” IE: He could be the type of person that believe in making out once -love em’ and leave em’ fast!

ShaniceO, don’t get my wrong…I LOVE a woman who can be affectionate, talented, has asense of humor, but she doesn’t have to look like Rosa, Free or Jhud, but why should I seetle for a lady that looks like Aunt Ester or Montana???!!! I know I’m NOT Denzil, but I’m sure as hell FAR AWAY from being a B-U-T-T-A-F-A-C-E, too…..

and with YOUR face, you’ll always win, HOTTIE face :)………

First, kudos to Mr. T for realizing he has a “situation” and not going on an “all black women aint s**t” rampage. TBM is right on the money: take some time out and do some soul searching, because if you keep attracting/going after the same type of no good female, it’s something YOU’RE lacking. I keep telling some of these guys that you knew big booty Tisha with the 4 kids wasn’t no good when you hooked up with her, so don’t get mad when she burns you in the end! Also, if you go into the relationship with a messed up attitude you won’t get anything out of it but mess. IF YOU LOOK FOR THE WORST IN PEOPLE YOU WILL FIND IT. Keep coming with the good advice TBM ♥♥♥

Geode07 you’re right on the money as well :)

LOL SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED TO READ MICHAEL BAISDEN BOOK MEN CRY IN THE DARK. I JUST GOT FINISHED READING IT YESTERDAY. YOU SOUND LIKE THE CHARACTER IN THE BOOK NAME BEN. HE HAS MONEY AND EVERYTHING ACCOMPLISHED BUT NO WOMAN. SO HE CONTINUES TO DATE ALL THESE YOUNG WOMEN BUT ANT FIGURE OUT WHY HE ISNT HAPPY. INSTEAD OF LOOKING INSIDE HIMSELF TO BE HAPPY. HE WAS TRYING TO FIND HAPPINESS THROUGH SOMEONE ELSE. AND THAT CAN ALWAYS ONLY LEAD TO A DOWNFALL OF HEARTACHE

@ 0-dizzle
As usual,you’re on point with your assessment. Black Men like us sometimes HAVE to date outside our race just to get a female who don’t expect us to be thuged out. Once Black females discover that you’re not really that “bad-boy” who wants to choke them out and inside your body lies a brain that functions,they see a “nerd”. However,when an intelligent Black female with means discover that I am not that innocent(I can tell you stories),they see a “nigga”.
I learned to “play the game” and that damages the psyche to the point I’m in constant flux between hood-rats and White chicks. Hey man,it is what it is.
Unrelated note: It is the same way with my friends. Most people I know think of me as shy,strange and weird because I refuse to conform and be “status quo”. I am a plotter,a thinker and too arrogant to pretend not to be intelligent. Do you have that problem,too?

This brother’s letter reads like he wouldn’t know good if he saw it. Just like TBM said, he needs to change his environment (i.e., leave these BlackPlanet girls alone, lol). And he needs to make female friends who resemble the kind of woman he wants, and go from there. Keep it platonic, and spend time in the company of the women you desire.

On the other hand, 25 is old enough to know what you like in the opposite sex. And if you like ghetto, broke down, needy women, own up to it. Besides, they need love too. Everybody ain’t bad, and everybody ain’t broke. If issues from the past were a dealbreaker, we’d all be single.

If this brother is attracting the same type of woman, than maybe he needs to shift his focus on what he truly wants than what he doesn’t want.

I agree with odoggz and geode07, especially on this part; “Once Black females discover that you’re not really that “bad-boy” who wants to choke them out and inside your body lies a brain that functions, they see a “nerd”, but not really to that extreme. lol… I wouldn’t say a lot of them wants us to choke them out, but I have ran into the black women that are like what you described. What really bothers me though is that they will not date a black man with a brain but smile from ear to ear when it comes to dating a white man with one. They become a whole different black woman.

Sad as it is, I also believe that SOME black women put us into those categories; “gay, in jail, thugs, or just plain womanizers or corny, boring, and not exciting”. Once SOME of them get that degree that’s it, they will automatically discriminate against you (the first to do so) and you will be deemed disqualified even if you are their equal (Because your blackness says that you are responsible for every wrong thing every black man has ever done to them). Then you get the complaints about I can’t find a good black man, which I think is just an excuse to get their jungle fever on. I’m not referring to all sisters but the ones that are guilty know who they are. Still love you though.

This society just keeps on separating the black man and the black woman.

Mr. T

No one can attract a negative person unless you choose them. This topic should have read why do I keep choosing these type of women/woman(same can be said for females too).

I for one can not answer for a man, but, I will add my 2 cent, some brothers are so superficial that they want the so called “Bad Azz Chick”; “Eye Candy”; “Model Chick”; “I’m a Freak Chick” and forget to look at the whole picture, you chose these women. You were attracted to them by your own choosing.

Therefore, you need to reevaluate what type of woman/en your really looking for. As much as some of us in society would like to find the perfect plug and play relationship and (there is none)we are dealing with the reality every human being has some dam issues(deal with it or move on).

If we didnt have issues this world would be perfect, continue to get to know the women you are choosing because your the one picking them out atleast you know you can walk away as long as you havent toot it and boot it yet than you shouldnt have a problem leaving.

Good Luck

PS

Love yourself first and the rest will follow

nodoubt10, co-sign…..when they see ME, I’m the NERD one who they can DOG, but cannot love me, yet the don’t want a bad ass, so they want me to be their ATM machine, be their puppet,be their subby daddy to take care of BEBBE’s kids or they reject me because I’m the corny, unexciting one(I KNOW I got attribute that OTHERS don’t have), but as they overlook me, they go for those ones with the dough, good looks, and the ones who make their money is QUESTIONABLE ways, and finally they date OTHER reaces, but I’m not allowed to date outside MY race since they the ones who rejected me……
what should I do? Stay lonely fo the REST of my life without love from a GREAT woman?????!! I’m only criticizing those who did this to me, and not All the laides, because there is some TRUE HOTTIES out there, but no where I’m at now……..

I hear his complaint alot! Alot of men want what’s advertised to them-eye candy… Now, I’m not saying that attraction isn’t important-it is, but look for SUBSTANCE too. You know-a woman who is stable mentally and financially.

It’s true that you don’t know how a person is at first. That’s why you should take the TIME to get to know them-observe their lifestyle and character. And LEAVE when you see red flags. However ,some men know some of these “dimes” offer nothing but ego boosts and “look what I got” bragging rights. But they go along with the facade, and then end up getting emotionally beat up. Then they whine “I cant find a good woman”..lol. So next time fellas-make sure she’s an asset and not a liability.

@jazzwatch yeah it’s sad some women are like that but I think the real solution is that you have to move around and travel. As I know that their are still great black women out there in other spots (such as Atlanta, if you wanna go that route because that’s a whole different breed of sister, lol)who have their own and are looking for an equal partner, but like you said they are fleeing to other races because they don’t want to wait either. I also want to tie this in with the comment left by soveu34;

@soveu34 I know you said SOME brothers are looking for the so called “Bad Azz Chick”; “Eye Candy”; “Model Chick”; “I’m a Freak Chick” which may be true but I want to emphasize on the some of us who are not looking for those types of chicks. I turn away from those females and I quickly learned that those females ain’t nothing but trouble and SOME of these women can be labeled as “gold diggers” which is what jazzwatch was stressing. You also stated “that we choose these women”, which I think is another point jazzwatch and the guy who asked the original question was trying to say is that we do not know these women are like that just by looking at them. It’s not like they are wearing a label on their forehead that says “gold digger” or “looking for an ATM”, and we go “hmmmm I think I will try gold digger today, that sounds nice”. These women might look sophisticated on the outside but once you get to know them, it might be a whole different world you are entering. It’s that initial perception that’s making us believe otherwise. These women could as just as well be approaching this dude and trying to get with him, because a handful of women these days will approach a guy(which is fine), it’s just hard to know what you stepping into off the back.

PS- and lookin outside your race isn’t the solution. There are plenty of White, Latino and Asian men who are complaining about this SAME THING with their women. I think that women of other races see Black men as a novelty, an adventure if you will.a journey away from their everyday.. Everyone is chill and cool when they’re in someone else’s house, cause you can always just go home! lol…Lacking an african ancestry and melanin does NOT make a women better! real talk……

test..

“You should take a look within yourself and you should be able identify why you have been attracted to these types of females.”

EXACTLY! This goes for men and women. True enough we don’t know the depth of a person at first sight, BUT it is up to us to get of the BS when we do find out about it. And definitely figure out WHY we are attracting said BS…The problem with SOME people is, they continually deal with it, therefore causing them to grow bitter and generalize EVERYONE…

*See Odoggz and Geode07!*

-geode07
yes my brother! That’s exactly what happens when you meet a black woman who is on your level, but thinks she’s above you. Since she couldn’t qualify you, you’re wack or a N-WORD. If we could only change this, our people can be RICH, full of culture, and give our babies the futures they need to navigate the currents. So that, to me, lets me know these chicks don’t think a black man is worth sh1t, good or bad, which is sad.
I don’t do hood rats, that’s just not me. I used to, because really, they do have the bomb poon and skills, but I grew out of that years ago, they have nothing else to offer, that is unique and worth protecting. In that same respect, neither does the smartest of white chicks, if they can’t RELATE to me. It’s all about who can relate to you, who is there to roll with you, and who has a purpose, that you share, for getting together and creating/preserving black life! That is my focus, at this point, when it comes to chicks. I don’t do hiding out, in my black skin, to try to be what I’m not, I’m not going to try to act like a white man, nor tone down the style of my talk/jokes/comments about life, or whatever. You have to walk on eggshells, when you do interracial, and frankly that’s not me. White chicks can’t take me home to dada, I’m going to be on alert, the first sign of him giving the “but you’re one of the nice ones” speeches. So me, I’m not too concerned with today’s broads, and if I am, it’s an older chick. However, many of my friends are doing what you’re doing, hoody-hood chicks and white girls, but there is always a hole (excuse the pun). This is where black women are supposed to come in, but instead, the propaganda machine tells them that if they’re doing well, to turn their backs on dudes, they need a white man to complete their fake status as a darkey-white woman. At a certain point, I started to see these black women as people trying to strike back at loser black men, and black men who were too fine to give them play, by purposely not acknowledging the good men in the middle. I also noticed they are using this as an excuse to live out the doll test desires they’ve always had, and their own insecurities about being black people. To purposely avoid us, knowing we’re their perfect fit, yet we’re not the ones who wronged them, that’s suspicious. Then again, for all the bragging these chicks do about themselves, do they look so special if YOU, the guy who did all that they are bragging about, and more, is with them? Kind of makes them not so special, and unique, if YOU did all that too, but aren’t bragging, right? So they’ve some serious issues to get over, and avoiding good brothers highlights them all.

This ASK A BLACK MAN guy is filtering my posts. I tried to post a reply, it keeps failing if I put over this many characters. lol NICE, controlling/limiting the opinions, in a blog. Classic.

“THE BLACK MAN” ANSWERED IT RIGHT,,,U KNOW PPL ALWAYS BLAMING EVERYONE ELSE FOR THEIR BS,,,BUT THEY KEEP PICKING THE SAME DUMBA$$ MF.,,MALES AND FEMALES,,,CUZ THEIR DUMBA$$ IS IGNORING THE ONES THAT ARE GOOD FOR THEM.

I don’t think men attract these women I think it’s just women. I mean everybody can’t have the same problem with women and people still ask themselves the same question. Bout time people realize it’s not where you find them, it’s not always you it’s just women. Nobody trusts women.

Don’t feel bad Mr.T. I have the same problem with men. I keep attracting the ugly, ignorant ones

I’ll retract some of that. Logically it shouldn’t be all American women, Just most.

=Too many men and women focus on looks and money instead of compatibility. Just because a woman is fine doesn’t mean there isn’t some psychological or mental issues there (please see Hallie Berry).

=If more women stopped dating these ‘real n****’ these guys would start pulling their pants up, going back to school and trying to avoid jail time instead of embracing it.

=Men, if you can find a woman that has 8 out the 10 things in common with you then she is a keeper. Once again it’s all about compatibility.

=@jazzwatch, I have read a lot of your post (very good post at that) for awhile but you seem to focus too much on looks. Yes, it’s important to have looks too but sometimes you have to find that ‘diamond in the rough’ brother. The woman you NEED will outweigh the woman you WANT. Good luck.

BVINCE

bvince, I don’t expect her to look like Serena, Free or Sade(if she has GREAT eyes and booty, it’s cool),sense of humor, affectionate/freaky and has goals of her own and interests, but I refuse to hook up with Aunt Ester, Prescious or Roseanne…I’m not Denzil, but I’m sure as hell not a B-U-T-T-A-F-A-C-E either, …….

I FEEL WHAT U SAYIN JAZZ – WHY SETTLE FOR LESS ?? WE AINT SOULJA OR WACKA OR BOW WOW: BOYS WHO HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM N MESS WITH RAT FACES N NOBODIES LIKE STINKY KAT

no doubt, I might have to do that….here in Ohio, there are nothing but MANY ladies here who have BE BEs kids who are so unruly and wants YOU to help raise them since they can’t raise them theirselves(some are out at night when they should be doing homework and going to bed like I did..I’m OLD fashioned and would rather have them NATURALLY…get MARRIED with my LAST NAME, because if I raise OTHER children, they may not mind me, diss me and won’t listen to me,and I cannot punish them when they do wrong, and I has to get permission to do so, although they have no problem of me unloading my paycheck on bills, food and shelter)….. then you got the ones who want to drain your wallet, yet if you ask THEM for money, they pitch a b***h after they sucked you dry, and then you have SOME who LOOK over 18( many Black ladies DEVELOP earlier than other races), but are UNDERAGED, and I don’t want to be on a Oscar Mayer Weiner in the pokey……
The ones I like are already taken, and although I have flaws, don’t think the ladies I meet here or anywhere else is holy than thou either……
wait till I get my contract as a cartoonist (30 years and counting)….and the ones who dissed me, rejected me, scorned me then want me to get with them, and then I would say that one thing when they saw ne the FIRST time before they learned I had talent”(even if they looked like Free, Jhud or SADE): NUH UNNNNNNN……….

Leticia, not only you LOOK like a H-O-T-T-I-E, but you insides (ffelings, thoughts, mind, BOOTY)makes you MORE attractive-BOINNNGGG!

:) ID RATHER GET COMPLIMENTED FOR MY PERSONALITY THAN MY LOOKS – MEANS MORE TO ME – THANKS JAZZ

Anyting, my deepthinkingbutsexyassfockh-o-t-t-i-e ;)

its all chemicals and chemistry that draws us together…

I think it may be best to remain platonic with a few females at a time for a time, and do this with out “banging” all of them. Too many people go into relationships without learning about who they’re with, and when their feelings start getting deeply involved they find out they’re with a nutjob. It’s not a good idea to rush into relationships in the first place, so I would suggest dating for at least a year. Also it may be your professionalism that attracts a certain kind of woman, you’re seen as a catch so be aware of that and take your time.

A lot of good points being presented, and I hope “Mr. T” (wherever he is) is taking notes. I can’t add too much more but I’ll try. Hope I don’t go too far into another tangent lol…

Where you meet some of these women and how soon you get involved are huge factors. A good, lasting relationship takes time and patience, and I know the dating game is tough. I’ve been there and am going through it now, and I see a lot the BS here on BP. Some women can make it very difficult for a brotha, and it’s frustrating as hell, but that’s not all women. And if you think it’s just Black women, then you’re misleading yourself. Society in general has conditioned a lot of women to treat honest, hard-working men as boring nerds. Look at the media, which showcases Black men as nothing more than rappers or ballers, and glorifies the thug life. What they don’t tell you is that half of the images they put out are of actors, no different than what’s in the movies or on TV. Unfortunately, it also perpetuates a myth that hard-working men are extinct and/or nerds, and/or makes women trust the good men even less. Go to another country and see what they think a Black man is supposed to be. Therefore, it’s twice as difficult if not impossible for the good men to prove themselves as worthy of a woman’s time, to the point to where it’s not even worth it. Don’t even get me started on the “independent woman” movement having a lot of women confusing “independent” with “stuck-up princess”. How many times have you, as a guy, held a door for a woman, only to be met with silence? Unfortunately, it’s becoming an increasing thing.

Back to Mr. T’s question, get to know the woman first. If you meet her on Friday and are already sleeping with her by Saturday, chances are the chance at a relationship is screwed. Why? Because you’ve already jumped the steps necessary to know if the woman has any potential. You sleep with her, THEN find out she’s 23 with three kids and one of the (jealous) fathers gets out next month. Get to know a girl, converse with her, know what she’s about before you get between the sheets. Not saying you gotta do a full background check or wait 6 months, but don’t jump into things either.

Now, if you wanna do casual sex from jump, fine, but just don’t be surprised if and when it doesn’t work, and you’re back to square one wondering why can’t you find the one. Just sayin’.

This problem is actually easy to solve. It’s your outside image that appeals to the wrong women. Take a look in the mirror. If you keep attracting ghetto women it’s probably because you look ghetto. To attract the type of ladies you seek to attract. You must appear as the ideal man for them. Education and attitude are one thing, but remember… Image is everything.

ANY black man that dogs out or blames his black woman for his problems, misgivings and shortcomings is the sorriest excuse for a man. Look at any ‘no good’ woman you see and I can bet not far behind her is a p*iss poor ass man.

Brothers stop pointing the finger and take responsibility for your own actions. Any man that would also take his time to write an essay, (you know who you are), on a blog to defame women as a whole is a weak man, who hasn’t been properly trained and doesn’t recognize a good woman when he sees one. (you know who you are). If you did, you would have one!

One last thing. paneiro, odoggz and geode07, You three sound like a bunch of BlTCHES griping and complaining. You three are the reason why women say there aren’t any good men out there.

@HOTLICKA323
put some fcking clothes on before you talk to men, and call dudes b1tches, seriously. You look like a gay ad, in the back of a seedy newspaper.

@odoggz

“This is where black women are supposed to come in, but instead, the propaganda machine tells them that if they’re doing well, to turn their backs on dudes, they need a white man to complete their fake status as a darkey-white woman. At a certain point, I started to see these black women as people trying to strike back at loser black men, and black men who were too fine to give them play, by purposely not acknowledging the good men in the middle. I also noticed they are using this as an excuse to live out the doll test desires they’ve always had, and their own insecurities about being black people. To purposely avoid us, knowing we’re their perfect fit, yet we’re not the ones who wronged them, that’s suspicious.”

I’m definitely in line with you on this, and if two people who don’t know each other and from two different areas believe the same thing then it has to be some truth to it.

@hotlicka323, Ummmm don’t listen to ‘kesha-doggz’ and her bitterness. You leave your picture just like it is! There are still a few of us women that are heterosexual and appreciate a nice black body…

Carry on fellas…and kesha ;-)

@HOTLICKA323
What are you like a male stripper or something. So the fact that you f#ck people for money, and I don’t makes me less of a man I don’t get it.

If me telling the truth about women, and you sleeping with all of them makes me the example of why women say there aren’t any good men out there, then that reinforces mens opinions of how backwards womens psychology is, and shows what kind of world we live in.

Your telling me you never notice how women ask why men are jerks yet those men are the first men they date, lose their virginity to, and get pregnant by?? They have no respect for gentlemen or good men until they’re used up, desperate, or tired of being abused. So why should I have respect for them, and yes I consider myslef a good man, being a good man has nothing to do with how you talk about women, it’s about how much respect you have for yourself, but in this society I guess you would be considered the good man, since you agree with everthing women say so you can f#ck them.

WHOA! Now I’m being insulted by a dude who “licks ASS”? You got me wrong bruh. If you want a man ass to lick,I suggest you move to ATL where that kind of thing is fashionable. …and you’ll be more welcome. As for MY opinion,I can say what the phuck I want,what cha gonna do? Beat me up? Even IF I said MY opinion in front of you you won’t do shyt. I can tell by reading your profile you are one IGNANT NIGGA! The ONLY way you could be appealing is to put your rusty revolver to some unsuspecting female’s head and demand sex. Otherwise,once you open your mouth and allow your uneducated stupidity to escape,your “date night” is done!
See what an education can do? The best you can do is to call me and “O-DIZZLE” a “b***h” when I can open up a thesaurus on yo azz.
Puzzy azz,dyck in da booty azz NIGGA! (I can get gutta too)

well i havent ready ISH ELSE @ the moment…but i will simply say…Just because u attract a certain kind of person….doesnt mean u have 2 deal with them…wtf, or is it just me who thinks that way??? hell i attract the wrong BASTARDS QUITE often…i mean attracting them and having a relationship with them are 2 very different things..only u can deal with that, hell i honestly dont think u can help who u attract these days (IMO)…..some ppl make ish way harder than it has to be.

LMAO!! Hotlicka323 told some TRUTH and now bytch nyggas got they g-strings in a bunch! You THREE should be ashamed because you feel like it’s ‘ok’ to bash women left and right, or tell the ‘truth’ about them as you call it, BUT when a man comes along and tells you that same truth, he has to be gay or trying to get laid or a stripper! GTFOH! Because the women on here go off half naked ALL THE TIME and you guys LOVE IT! Hotlicka is here to appeal to WOMEN, not you gay ass dudes who took too much time studying his picture….LMAO!!! Good shyt hotlicka323!!!

SO i read the comments…seems to me many of the same men are always the first ones to jump up and put blame on women…the s**t goes both ways….2 many lame muthaf**kaz stop aiming for meaningless encounters and hookups and s**t…u may see things working out better…u could spin it 1000 different ways..thing is, if u didnt DEAL WITH the ppl “that u know r bad for u” u wouldnt become so damn bitter and broken about it…ONLY U KNOW WHEN YOU’VE HAD ENOUGH…AND By the time many ppl realize it ITS TO DAMN LATE…U BECOME A FRAGILE SENSITIVE B***H..LIKE SOME OF THE MEN HERE…..NOW THATS SOME *GAY S**T* OOOO YAAAY BASH BLACK WOMAN TIME…instead of just admitting to ur own damn flaws GTFOH…HELL YEA ITS EASIER 2 BLAME SOMEONE ELSE, instead of REALIZING “ITS YOU, U R UR OWN DOWNFALL”…AND UHH IM SORRY HOTLICKA..SPOKE THE TRUTH…i see it STUNG SOME ASSES TO ;) SOME MEN ARE SO QUICK TO SAY THERE ARE NO GOOD BLACK WOMEN, BUT I BET IF U THINK BACK AND BE HONEST WITH YOURSELVES..MANY OF UR LAME ASSES, HAVE TAKEN PART IN MAKING A BLACK WOMAN SOMEWHERE ANGRY/BITTER B4…SO DONT HATE WHAT U HELP CREATE….ITS JUST THAT SIMPLE, IF U COME ACROSS SOMEONE, AND U KNOW DAMN WELL UR NOT COMPATIBLE..WHY WASTE TIME?? TELL THE TRUTH…WE KNOW MANY OF U MEN WILL HATE A WOMAN TO DEATH…BUT UD LOVE HER ENOUGH TO LAY HER DOWN…AND THATS WHAT GETS MANY OF UR ASSES ON THIS “ILL B***HERY”…so save the BULLSHYT

Paneiro/geode07, No I’m not a stripper nor am I gay by any stretch. Just ask the MANY females on here that I can pull, yet neither of you can even speak to. My page was put together for females but if you two gay ass males want to wander on there for your own kicks then so be it.
I didn’t need to go at your pictures, (but i could have, i mean look at you geode07!), but i didnt because what comes out of your mouths is enough for me to do damage with. you only talk about someone’s physical traits when you can’t intellectually refute what they have to say. Fact still remains that no man can collectively speak on women in general because you haven’t met every woman to do so. That’s simple logic brothers. Now if you personally are coming across the worst types of women AND you continue to deal with them, (which is usually the case with you b***hy males), then you take responsibility for your own actions like grown people do.
have I come across horrible women? Yes I have, but I know there are great women out there to choose from, I HAVE TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES. Simple as that.

And oh yeah, don’t dare be mad at me geode07 because I CAN front with no shirt on like I do. I work hard for this body, the ladies love it, so what YOU think of my picture means nothing. And judging by those busted, yellow ass teeth in your photo, you been lickin way more than ass.

“And judging by those busted, yellow ass teeth in your photo, you been lickin way more than ass”…BWAHAHAHHAHAHHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH LMFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAO UH UH UH LMFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAO LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL OOOOOOOOOOOSHYT HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH…. HEHE!

No he didn’t get on them TOOFUS! LMAO!!! It’s about time a FINE ASS BROTHER got on these kats’ heads about all that PMS’ing they do…Like they got options!

I rather take a WOMAN with good personality (along with looks) over a so-call FINE lady(with Hollywood looks) with a OVERSIZED EGO(this applies to men, too), and thinks their s**t don’t stink….to me THOSE types of ladies are B-U-T-T-A-F-A-C-E-S…..

@hotlika323
Your Good man I truly hope you wet up these womens panties as you intended to. If your a Pu$$y begger handle your business but please don’t try to challenge my intellectual prowess. As i said in my last paragraph These women have no respect for a good man or gentleman. I said in one of my post it’s not all women just most.

You question my choice in women??? you sound like one of the women on here, your a typical lap dog. You don’t know me from a hole in the wall, I’m very careful and picky in my selection of women. I don’t go to clubs homie or pick up women in bars, so I don’t wanna hear that crap. I’m not prejuding these women I’m judging them. I apeak to people both men and women about women and it’s always the same issue you can’t trust them.

Men don’t trust women, Women don’t trust women, parents are terrified to have girls why? You can’t trust them for the most part, they are attracted to abusive men, and love complain about men in general. I’m not attracted to abusive women so my selctions are intended for decent women, but in the end they are just better liars then the proud hoes. I know women are not gonna like me for the things I say but they need to be said, that’s what a strong mental does. Most of the strongest most revolutionary and important men throughout history went against the social rule. You are being crushed by Social pressure that says don’t you dare blemish the name of anything with an ovary.

P.S. Lets not get into who can get more women, not to sound conceited but I spend alot of my time turning down women much less trying to pull them.

@Califemme23 & Neva1betta
Dude got you real easy didn’t he. I see it happen all the time, not surprised at all. He’s an example and that’s what I made him, all your doing is supporting my argument.

That’s the type of men you women love. He made that for women??? it just shows how little respect he has for women and himself. I knew he would get y’all, the funny thing is I said it in my post right before it happened. lol I’m like a psychic I can tell you how simply y’all women will get played before it happens.

I don’t deal with any women walking around semi naked much at all much less looking like prostitute, I’m very strict, I don’t have sex with a woman unless we have some sort of romantic relationship, A womans butt is not the most attractive part of her body to me. The only thing negative you can say I do to a woman is leaving or neglecting her for lying to me about something important of course.

Y’all really think my opinions about women are based solely on my own experiences, but I see it happen to everyone men, and women. Older women talk about y’all the same way I do trust me, they see the same thing I do. Y’all never feel the wrong and f#cked up things you do. That’s why I put it in your face. I know women won’t like me for that but unlike the mental slave I was arguing with I know what’s important, he just wants some pu$$y.

Thats deep (and so are some of these comments smh) it would seem men and women are gulity of this…try to run away from one thing, meet different types, but keep falling for the same ole same old. As if its meant to be that way or something, No matter what i’ve done or tried not to i’ve run smack dab into it time and time again…why is the known such a repeated event?
Perhaps we are attarcted what we are most familiar with regardless of the out come of previous experiences.

I agree with the article. Is it speaking some truth. Thats why I started my own website just to let females know what im looking for in my queen. Check it out -> http://www.airbrushqueen.com

@Califemme23 & Neva1betta
“Dude got you real easy didn’t he.” lol riiiight..it is what it is…dude spoke the truth..and well THE “TRUTH” gets me all the time, mmmmmmm i love it ;)..so if thats EASY to u then i guess so…” I see it happen all the time, not surprised at all.” that’s fine to..u claim to “see” a lot, don’t really mean much if you’re looking with “bitter eyes” cleeearly…u probably do think you’re a psychic too PFFT!!! lol women get played this that and the other blah blah blah….maybe its you who has been played…something definitely has you bitter az hell…”Older women talk about y’all the same way I do trust me” that really caught my attention….maybe you need 2 stop having girl talk with old hags speaking of “ILL B***HERY” LMFAO ..u men kill me with the CONSTANT b***hin and complainin ON these forums, ITS like some1 SHOT ESTROGEN INTO UR ASSES!! anywhoo, ONCE AGAIN…HOTLICKA SPOKE THE TRUTH…it is what it is ; )

paneiro1, “@Califemme23 & Neva1betta
Dude got you real easy didn’t he.”

What exactly did he ‘get’? He spoke some truth dear, and what? You know, just like when you guys get on here with that PMS’ing and all agree with each other…Same thing. So you can agree with anyone you choose to, but neva1 and I can’t? Ahhhh there goes that B*itchery again! Once again, about that brother making his page for women..Ummmm who else was he supposed to make it for? He’s a black MAN that likes women, don’t be mad because he doesn’t like men who belittle women as a WHOLE, as if you know ALL OF US and you don’t. When I read his page it said he had love for the SISTERS. Whatelse do you know about him beyond that? But let me stop, he already checked you guys once, I’m sure he doesn’t need me to back him up nor speak for him.

Now tell me again, since you know me of course, what ‘wrong and fcked up things’ have I done to you? What wrong things have you ever heard about ME personally? Let me answer for you…ZERO, ZIP, NADA! And do you know why you haven’t? Because you don’t know EVERY woman to say such things. And further more, what kind of man are you to sit around talking to old ass women about women that neither one of you have ever met? So YOU have ill experiences due to your own choosing and now it’s everyone’s fault? CAN WE SAY BITTER MUCH!

The brother ‘hotlicka323′ is right though, You are a bunch of bitter ass males that sound WORSE than a bunch of females. Do I come on these blogs and berate and belittle the entire country of american men like you do? No I don’t because YOU think you are a ‘good’ man, I don’t know you to speak on you like that. So since you can say that ALL american women are pretty much horrible, I can in turn say that ALL of you american are the same…No wait, I can’t do that, it sounds too stupid…I’ll leave that to you…

Paneiro1, One more thing…If you can’t stand american women…take yo ass elsewhere! China, france, japan, germany, the UK…If you don’t like us, then stay away! BUT you happen to be on a site with PREDOMINATELY AMERICAN WOMEN! Talk about misery loving company!…

What the hell are you pointing out ‘flaws’ in us for? Like we give a shyt what a man that doesn’t even like us has to say! I mean do you care what KKK members think about you? I would think not, so WHY waste your time ‘putting it in our faces’ in the first place? go to a Klan meeting and tell them how much you can’t stand the fact that they don’t like blacks, see if they give a damn either…

*Threw another tampon at Paneiro1!*

Matter of fact, y’all need some ‘Maxi’s with wings’…Fly y’all punk asses away somewhere!

“Matter of fact, y’all need some ‘Maxi’s with wings’…Fly y’all punk asses away somewhere!” LMFAO and “ALWAYS” AT THAT…so they can ALWAYS stay gon’/ with that bull…smh! all u bitter b***hes (men) come holla @ me..i wanna know ure story haha…real talk LETS DISCUSS IT

I agree with neva1betta. Fellas, (ladies rather, cuz y’all don’t act like men with all that whinin), talk to us. Tell us what in hell happened that has you all so negative and complaining all the time….Hit us with a private note, an IM, anything…Just let us talk it out with you, see what the prollem is…

@califemme
You see I could get personal because I know your situation but I’m not going to because I’m not like that. I never said there was a problem with him making his page for women I was speaking to what he specifically made for women, which still there’s nothing wrong with. He looks like a male escort advertising d#ck, he’s basically saying to women that your minds are are only limited to his sex. So what’s the difference between what he’s saying and what I’m saying besides the fact that people can read it literally. Atleast I think more of women then to put it in their faces like that.

For years on talk shows women have been trying to group men on television, talk shows etc women have been grouping men particularly black men and labeling them Dogs and such. I grew up believing MEN were the problem also until I learned better. I’m tired of women pretending to be the victim so I prove people wrong especially Manginas like this one who wants to excuse women for the evil s**t they do. His comment saying behind every bad woman is a piss poor man is a prime example of the type of society we live in. Women always play the victim and then they’re backed up by manginas like HOTLICKA.

All men aren’t finding these women in clubs, bars and such. All men aren’t looking for hood rats. You women can just cut that recycled b#lls**t. Everytime I read that or hear that I’ma say the same sh#t I always say. I don’t like excuses so i’ll address it when I see one.

Paneiro1, “You see I could get personal because I know your situation but I’m not going to because I’m not like that.”

Ummm, first of all, you didn’t answer my question…I asked what have I DONE TO YOU PERSONALLY…And you’re not like what? I thought it was your duty to let us know when we fck up, so tell me, when did I fck up in YOUR life?
Now second, what do you know about my situation? Go right ahead and feel free to get personal about my situation and you have NEVER met me. I’m really curious now! We have never met, never spoken on the phone, never hung out together, but yet you know my situation? Feel free to speak on ME since you know so much. I really wanna hear this. You typed all types of shyt and didn’t really say anything you haven’t already said before, yet and STILL not pointing out what’s wrong with ME. But I digress, you bitter women are who you are…

OR wait, you just showed another level of yourself…Not only are you bitter as hell, you’re also insane if you can speak on me personally. YOU are one of those types of men that have most likely been DOGGED by women your entire life and now you can’t trust any of them. That’s cool, I do understand. You skipped right over everything I asked you to point out about me. I mean you are the one that said its up to you to put things in our faces, to point out all the wrongs and fcked up things WE do, and I gave you the opportunity and you BALKED on it. Proving my point, you can NOT talk on every woman because you just don’t know us all babe…Whatever chick ripped your heart out and replaced it with a monthly period, brother let it go…That’s all I can say…let it go…

@neva1betta
Who’s b@tchin??? I never said I had a problem with what American women do to each her own. I just address the excuses that people love to make for them. Like I said all the situations I know about don’t all stem from my personal experiences. Women tell me the sh%t they and their friends do, men I know have spoken about their experiences and their friends experiences so on & so on, it never ends, and I said of course logically it’s not all women so I really don’t know where you 2 are coming from. I’m just being logical, I’m a grown man I accept the truth and move on, so if you see me speaking it, i’m not complaining.

I ponder on things and face the facts that’s what a man does, trust me I don’t need a shoulder to cry on. There is no man crying in the dark over here, thanks anyway.

Paneiro1, “Women tell me the sh%t they and their friends do, men I know have spoken about their experiences and their friends experiences so on & so on, it never ends, and I said of course logically it’s not all women so I really don’t know where you 2 are coming from”

First, You can’t claim to be a grown man and in fact basing how YOU feel in part on OTHERS experiences. Your own feelings can only, and should only derive from what YOU have been through when dealing with the opposite sex. Now second, YES indeed you have said it is ALL AMERICAN WOMEN. You say that on HB, this site and any other chance you get. I have read your posts on MANY occassions where you in fact say…”It seems to be only American women that have these problems..”. Had you been speaking on your own PERSONAL experiences and not throwing every american woman in a box, then we wouldn’t have said a thing to you….

But oh wait, you know my situation and who I am so very well! AND you claim to be a lil psychic too! So I guess you pretty read all this before I even typed it huh?

Although I agree w/ parts of what everyone is saying male and female,but its a deeper issue than just continually attracting the same kind of person. First of all,if you have it in your mind that your always going to attract a certain type of person,then guess what you will its just that simple. Everyone’s thoughts and words hold so much power,but yet everyone fails to realize it. I’ve been doing alot of reading online and can across this video on YouTube. Now I’m not saying that it will fix everything and everyone right away,but it is certainly something that people should give pause to or consider as a common factor in why the same thing,not only in relationships,keeps happening over and over in a person’s life. Like the article said you should look at yourself and what may have happened in your life that gave your view on relationships and what you do want in a person and go from there.Here’s the link of the video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSRVv2HjFFc

@Califemme
Like I said I’m not gonna get personal with you even though your making personal attacks. I know something about you because you’ve said it before. It’s not about you playing men or anything like that. I wasn’t trying to offend you personally, and you haven’t done anything to me. I said in one of my posts it’s not all women. I just don’t like people excusing women because they will never learn that they are a part of the problem.

The same women for the most complaining about abusive men are the ones that want these men, because of these retarded women I get prejudged especially as a black man and it’s retarded because that’s the men they like. Atleast for the most part men don’t want these abusive women in a romantic way.

whos b***hin?? U R…seems like b***hin to me….uve said “american women” plenty of times..”black women” plenty of times, not some….whether its this forum or others….may not be crying in the dark…but if i could make ASSumptions like u, id damn sure say theres a man crying on the inside ; ) i mean do u hate women bruh?? Another thing is, i could understand just a tad..u being bitter from ur own experiences, but for what ppl “tell” u..is something else. So, because of what ppl “tell” u, ur on here speaking “BAD NEWS” ABOUT ALL WOMEN as if ur bullshyt is FACT…..so what, if u talk to a cpl of hoes that tell u about what her and her birds of a feather DO. That doesnt mean thats what all women have become, damn! there is both good and bad bruh…but if u’re already LABELING THE “GOOD” AS “bad” anyway..u’d never see the good in some AMERICAN WOMEN…Since we’re the ones u seem to hate…but ure damn sure entitled to feel how u wanna….it just sucks that u think that BS is the WHOLE truth and nothing but the TRUTH lol.. *shrugs*

Paneiro1, Ok bruh. You STILL refuse to answer the questions posed. I asked what exactly do you know about my situation, now YOU brought it up, now you want to SLINK away from your own words. Had I EVER told you that I know your situation, best believe I’m going to bring it to your attention especially IF I bring it up. Now again, what do you know about my situation?

Face it, you don’t know a thing about me. And if you think I’m one of those abused women that complain…THINK AGAIN, never happened to me, never will because I don’t even go for those types, and I don’t complain, it’s tacky and non progressive. But like its’ your DUTY to put things in our faces, I just felt that it was perfectly alright to let you men know that you whine like puppies fresh out the womb, loud, over bearing and way too often..

And trust me, I haven’t attacked you. I have only been telling the truth based upon what YOU say on these forums, whereas you COMPLAIN about women in general or as a whole, when you don’t know enough of us to do so…

@califemme
My opinion is not based on others it is supported by others. I said it doesn’t all stem from my experiences, but when everyone shares a similar story it seems to be an overwhelming truth. In my other post where you I said American women and seemed like I was generalizing, and you asked me not to, I corrected. I figured people would know logically I don’t mean all women. Like you said I don’t know all women. That’s why I said logically not all women to make sure I was distiguishing

Paneiro1, You’re still bs’ing about my question, so I shall leave it alone…lol. You know nothing of my situation, and you were a fool for even TRYING to go there with me…It’s cool, you were wrong, I’ll say it for you..

Carry on LADIES!

@califemme
I sent you a note you haven’t seen it yet??? I didn’t wanna make it public Check your page. Keep playing with me.

paneiro1, lol, yes I got your notes and responded accordingly. Like I said, I was right, you were wrong…I already said that for you on an earlier post…See! I’m psychic too! And if you want me to keep playing with you…You gotta come with better toys…

Thats not enough information thats common sense. Any woman or male can cling or fake to be someone their not until it’s too late. Until your already in deep for that emotional segment. In this modern day it’s hard to find a woman who doesn’t have any kids thats first off and if they don’t have any kids they watch too much t.v. and try to live the lives of women in that fantasy world. shop-a-holics, bi-sexual women etc. If a woman doesn’t have any hobbies that can cut her off from the world she’s probably note the one to settle down with.. If she’s too social and has to be around people constantly just think of all the garbage being fed to her on a day to day basis. more than likely she’s a follower and not a leader

Or maybe this dude is gay. He’s worried about women playing him for a fool and messing with his emotions?? Come on bruh, pull your head out your azz and MAN UP!!

Stop LOOKING for love and let it happen. They sometimes the person you’re looking for is right in front of you, but you’re too caught up being superficial.

signed… Another black man.

=WOW. This post has it all: intrigue, guys getting called out, girls calling guys out, CaliFemme ripping cats, ‘personal’ attacks being called on, neva1betta looking good as usual in that sweater(my fav pic). Good stuff. Forward ladies and gentlemen.

Time can never mend the careless whispers of a good friend as the music diessssssss something in your eyessssssssss calls to mind a silver screen and your its sad goodbye and im never gonna dance again guilty feet have gotten no rhythm. (now back to your regular postings ladies and gent please carry on)

I say he needs to take the time out and truly learn himself and since he feel he attracts the same type of women then when he see the signs he need to keep it pushing

I KEEP ATTRACTING NOTHING BUT HOES AND SKEEZERS. HOW DO I BREAK THAT CYCLE. IM AN ACCOMPLISHED AND EDUCATED BLACK MAN. SAVE ME FROM THIS INSANITY LOL. HELP!!! SERIOUSLY, I NEED SOME ADVICE.

you are the company you keep. simple as that. no need to elaborate. s**t in, s**t out

Damn i would not have thought this subject would blow up like this! Anyways, at 25 you should not be worried about finding the right one, u should just be having fun! Dont stress finding the right one, and dont be getting your feelings too wraped up in someone, if u do that they can use it against u, stay solid and the right one will find u.

blazinPotPie37, EXACTLY! If someone is attracting the SAME type of person, then they should recognize the signs and move on!

People don’t seem to do that though….great post!

@paneiro1
What are you right sbout, my point is still the same regardless if I missed a minor detail. Wow you were’nt married but you still got played because you chose the wrong n#gga dumba$$ and stayed with him trust me I remember the story. Just like I’ve been saying about the rest of you American women.

So prove me wrong now that your an example. You feel good because you got some Pu$$y beggers supporting you. They still can’t make a point because all they came here for is to beg for Pu$$y. First you had “HOTLICKA” now you got “bvince” he’ll be leaving soon to because he doesn’t believe anything he’s saying, it’s just pu$$y begging.

“Come with better toys”??? lmao neither one of you have discredited my point. Everybody feels the same way about women. I just say it out loud, if you don’t like it don’t read it.

@califemme
What are you right sbout, my point is still the same regardless if I missed a minor detail. Wow you were’nt married but you still got played because you chose the wrong n#gga dumba$$ and stayed with him trust me I remember the story. Just like I’ve been saying about the rest of you American women.

So prove me wrong now that your an example. You feel good because you got some Pu$$y beggers supporting you. They still can’t make a point because all they came here for is to beg for Pu$$y. First you had “HOTLICKA” now you got “bvince” he’ll be leaving soon to because he doesn’t believe anything he’s saying, it’s just pu$$y begging.

“Come with better toys”??? lmao neither one of you have discredited my point. Everybody feels the same way about women. I just say it out loud, if you don’t like it don’t read it.

Wow. This has been going back and forth for, it seems like, days. The writer was good with this one. Why is it that everyone seems to comment on someone’s experience that they have never met? Both men and women can relate to this topic. It is what it is. Majority of people(both men and women), it seems, are just full of s**t. Point blank. No one should take offense when someone says women/men are full of s**t, or whatever derogatory statement in which one chooses to make about a general population. It will always be made based on one’s experience(or the general population in which they are exposed to.) That comment that is made holds truth to it in which that person is speaking in reference to what one has experienced. You should always assume that one is speaking about only in which they have encountered. No one has seen everything, nor experienced everything. I attempt to say this to end the bashing and “jumping down one’s throat” because of one’s opinion and experiences. We all have fallen victim to this. It is a learning process. If you are an attractive person and possess qualities of a good being,then you will attract all types of people. It usually comes in waves. Now based on my experience, the women in which lil man speaks of are always the first one’s to throw themselves at me. Too easy. Next are those that take on a more quiet approach(does not mean they are any better. They are just a bit smarter with getting what they want) that begin conversing with me. After I make it through those waves, then is when I find a woman that is worth sharing my time and thoughts with. You must be careful as to whom you let in. Not everyone deserves to go where you’re heading. So I don’t think it’s a matter of what’s always attracted to you; but being a matter of what you find as interesting and attractive yourself. It is not a matter of answering to the first one who approaches you. If you’re into “1st come, 1st serve,” then why are you even commenting on this blog anyway????

Some of the comments on here are hilarious…Brothas get to know your a chic. Learn to conversate…then you will know what she’s all about..Give it time…take it slow..

@ms_mimi31 I would agree… Most men or women judge a person before they even meet people. Nothing new though.

If you want things in your life to change, you have to change things in your life. Its hard to admit how we’ve been unconsciously attributing to our misfortunes but when you identify the problem, then you can work on the solution. Like attracts like. So as the article states, you are going to have to make some changes. Definition of lunacy is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Maybe develop some new ways of approaching women. (SMH at men who use their money to attract women and complain that she’s a golddigger.) How you pick up someone is sometimes the downfall in the end. Try new things, go new places that may attract a different type of ppl. Surround yourself with others of similar mentally. Ex. If you want meaningful relationship, hanging with your playa friends ALL the time pickin up women isn’t going to help. Mr. T is in school… There are no women in pursuit of higher education that he finds interesting enough to have a mature relationship with? There are many educated, street smart, sexy blk women out there looking to build an empire, prefereably with a blk man. You just have to look with your eyes open. And look beyond a big booty, phat a$$ and long hair.
On a side note, its so wack when I hear men talk about blk women like WE always the problem and how they make it seem non black women are so perfect. Every action has a reaction. Could it be sometimes her reaction is to your actions?? The average blk women just aint havin it. Sometimes your actions can make a sane intelligent women go psycho on your a$$ and wanna cut you.. lol.
Its a known fact that the higher up the economic ladder a blk woman climbs, the harder it is for her to settle down. I’ve witnessed too many times blk women wit their stuff together, and dude runs for the hills. It’s not about her being stuck up, she just wants an equal. and NO it’s not only about money. The men who think that are definitely meeting the wrong women. I don’t see anything wrong with asking: “What are you bringing to this party?” It’s only fair.
If I met a dude who had his ABCs together… and I wanted to be with him too, I’d be like “damn” gotta step my game up even more. Because I’m not tryin to be nobody’s burden.

Mr T is just not picky enough. He’s one of those guys who, when an insecure attractive woman clings to him soon and quickly, he feels obligated to be her hero. Stop being a hero, Mr. T, and become picky. Try rejecting women just to get used to the idea of being picky. You need a secure woman who is educated like you.

Hoodrat or a decent Lady/woman. Boys & man-child or a decent quality Man. It is hard to decipher who the enemy is these days. The scabs dress up like ladies and then you have some decent ladies that dress down like the monsters out here.

My remedy to breaking the pattern was this, Stop Having Sex with them ESPECIALLY if all you can see the relationship being a piece of good tail. Don’t do it!! Not conversate, but CONVERSE with the young lady, get to know her, but mainly, know yourself and know what you want.

I missed my own good advice like 3-4 years ago with a dumb-a$$ cluck head, but I was just as blind as a bat and fell for the nonsense disguised as, a good woman.

YOU NEED TO FALL BACK GET TO KNOW THE ENEMY WITH IN

[...] I Keep Attracting The Same Type Of Women. How Do I Break This Cycle? [...]

take the cape off, STOP thinking with your dick and get to know them before you get caught up. have some standards !!!

Damn, some of you all are taking this topic in the streets with each other, and some of you are wannabe Dr Phils too, lol. It’s more than getting to know yourself because many do know themselves, it’s the fake persona that many women put on sometimes that fools us guys, but what’s even funnier is when that woman get with the wrong man and he knocks her up and leaves her dumbass wannabe playa face ass, and then she go through regret. That’s karma for ya ass. I don’t care to comment about what men do and don’t do because I am not gay. However, women of today seem to be more worried about how I say certain things, instead of looking at my background and getting to know me for who I am, not what you think I should be to you. That’s the first mistake women make.

Every black man doesn’t have to be a thug to be wild and unpredictable, that is a myth. If you like a man that is afraid to go into an airport with you because he thinks the FBI is after him, then you deserve him because you are a stupid woman. If you enjoy your man coming in at 4am from the streets, not a legit job, you are a stupid woman. These days women do judge too much like they are holier than thou or are flawless and that’s not the point. I had this one chick said because I think other countries could be plotting on the U.S. that I am not the man for her because she doesn’t think that way? Are you f**king kidding me?

I love my black women, but most black women are getting weaker mentally and they think it’s strength. I don’t blame media and Oprah always, when you are a negative human being who does not have a good relationship with God or yourself, you tend to lash out and blame everyone else for why you haven’t found Mr. Right yet..Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought you are Ms. Wrong completely. This article is a twist because it’s a brotha looking for Ms. Right, but keep finding Ms. Wrong. It’s hard to tell a man not to look for love when we are the pursuers. That’s like telling a man not to look at a woman’s breasts, oh its gonna happen,lol.

Anyhow, good luck to the young brotha, and love is like the lottery, just keep trying, you’ll know when you win.

BOO WHO:)) MAN UP HOME BOY. TRUTH IS THIS MUCH. THTA GUY IS FULL OF S**T. HE DIDNT GO AFTER A SMART CHICK BECAUSE HE KNOWS SHE WONT FALL FOR THE BS. GHETTO GIRLS ARE LOOKING AT THE FACT YOUR NOT LIKE POOKIE AND THEM DOWN THE STREET.:)) AND HE MIGHT THE CAPT. SAVE A HO TYPE:)) NEED TO COME OUT OFF THE LOOKS CLOSET AND BE REAL. DUDES RUN BEHIND A CHICK FOR 4 REASONS: THAT ASS, THEM BREASTS, DECENT FACE, SHE AINT THAT FAT REMAKE FROM HIS BOYS. LATER ITS SAID MEN LOVE WITH THEIR EYES. AT LEAST SOME:)) THERE ARE SOME GOLD DIGGING ASS DUDES OUT THERE TOO

I’m in the same boat….i think its because i live in an urban area….most of the girls out here have kids..no job….literally nothing going on for them…..my options are scarce.

It depends…you can have the best of intentions and attract the wrong people because that’s just the way people are. People are very deceptive and dishonest with each other these days. For me personally…if I don’t sense that chemistry with her it’s a no go. Once she makes a certain comment…or acts a certain way I won’t even bother

Now if we do have that instant chemistry….*sigh*….I need a cold shower Lol

You must always have non-negotiable standards, morals, and values. You have to know all people have some kind of issue, it just depends on how much you want to deal with. Don’t settle, but don’t forget that if you have yourself together maybe you can spread some of that love on to a woman that you plan on being with in the future. The most beautiful diamonds are sometimes covered with the most dirt. Sometimes it just takes someone to polish them off to see their true potential and beauty.

Well, first I think you need to define what you are looking for and after a few dates, if the women does not meet the majority of your criteria (not all, as nobody is perfect), then move on. Also, in learning from your past experiences, look out for warning signs which others have presented.

Ideas for a checklist: The woman has a job, decent education or realistic plans to pursue further education, does constructive things in her spare time(not just going out and partying!)and has a positive lifestyle outside of yourself, actually has aspirations, is able to conversate with you on a intellectual level (probably the most important), can evaluate her own baggage and shows that she can overcome and not bring it into your relationship.

So avoid: Women who seem like they want money and gifts all the time, women with toooo much baggage, women who do not meet your standard of intellectual conversation, un-ambitious women, no positive or constructive hobbies/things to do when you ain’t there and women who don’t really listen to you or seem to want to know you on a deeper level. And don’t go sleeping with them if any of the above apply…..you are then asking for further drama and the risk of impregnanting someone you will probably grow to hate and have no respect for in the long run!

Yeah this is my problem too….sad though…You would think it would be different in the church….sobb…lol

See a pastor… Lol… I’m kidding. But the truth is I’ve also got the same problem. I keep getting them women who are after my money.

I Keep Attracting The Same Type Of Women. How Do I Break This Cycle?

ANSWER: “How you start? IS how you end.” Are you sure that YOU are not displaying deceit…misrepresenting yourself?
As another poster here stated, there are a hella lot of people out there MISrepresenting themselves.

Don’t be one of them. And if you ARE being honest here, you may want to consider changing your environment. If you keep returning t the “same ol’, same ol’…what makes you think that the “players in the game” will not return “looking for fresh meat?”

Pay attention. Then proceed.

Most men don’t understand how good women function.
With a good woman the more you give her the more she will happily give you in return.
With the others it’s the opposite.
The more you give them the more they look to take.
It’s that simple.

Black Man: Teh correct word is INTRAspection.

@miss-meth: Your ideas for a checklist and what to avoid couldn’t be anymore transparent. I for one strive to following a similar blue-print via the past knowledge from strong educated black women, grandparents and cousins.

just remember one thing … you lost a brownie point for stating “is able to conversate with you on a intellectual level (probably the most important)”

CONVERSATE is NOT A WORD folks!!!! drop it!

Women go through this same experience, and it is damaging on both sides of the gender fence. Learning how to take time out to examine your own motives and desires and wrong choices is critical. ALso, changing your playground, playmates and habitual activities…cause thats a starting point for making the same bad choices all over again. And for both men and women…dont be uncomfortable with taking time to probe that new persons background…family history…beliefs and behavior patterns, educational background and professional history, habits, friends that he or she regularly associates with (and why, cause birds of a feather flock together…losers congregate, while winners stand out and elevate). Most important, if you have a good stable parent in your life, dont be reluctant to ask their honest opinion and take their words very seriously…cause they will always try to guide you to sucess and to avoid pain, if they are good parents. Never simply follow what your friends like, or what your horniness or neediness may guide you to…cause thats gonna take you right back to someone co-dependent or possibly unstable, every time…

Please Read the following poem and take it to heart. If that doesn’t work try a man….

Black Fierce Freedom Warriors

By Brother Tracy Gibson

Right now
Our youths are mostly confused, lost, angry, sometimes violent, irresponsible
And Bling, Bling oriented….
The misguided ways of the Rap subculture, technology,
Video games & our oppressor’s detrimental ways have
Turned them into something converse to their own existence
We have largely failed to raise the next generation of
Black Fierce Freedom Warriors our people need
but this can & will change…
The Creator, the Ancestor—GOD herself
Will NOT let this stand
Soon we will institute the necessary changes within
Our community, Our Churches & Mosques & Our households….

To teach, construct and build the next generation

Of fearless leaders who will carry our noble struggle
Into the next future
They will learn about Angela Davis, Nelson Mandela, James Baldwin,
Audrey Lord, Fanny Lou Hamer, Danny Glover, and Rosa Parks
They will learn the true and noble history of Haiti;
The freedom riders Down South; and how we were hung, burned and killed
Just for being Black,
They will learn about the Black Holocaust and all
It’s evil intent & how present-day White wealth
Is based on our past and continued oppression & exploitation…
But it will be we who teach them
They will learn about the African/Egyptian Kings and Queens
Who brandished Black skin and broad noses…
They will learn about King and the Mountain Top
And Sonya Sanchez’s “Home Girls & Hand Grenades’’
Because we will home school and community school & Black Church School
and Black Charter School them as well….
Into the future
Our oppressors have never taught us about our liberation through
The very system they constructed to keep us
Ignorant, aloof, detached & fighting among ourselves…
We have to stop expecting this twisted, backwards,
hateful and morose system (and most of the people it has
spewed forth) to help us, liberate us and teach us…
how to reconstruct ourselves and liberate ourselves…
THEY NEVER WILL!!
we will learn…
and soon, once again, we will drink from the cool fresh waters of
the Nile
and real, true and authentic liberation will once again sooth our Blessed souls…

[...] I Keep Attracting The Same Type Of Women. How Do I Break This Cycle? [...]

[...] from Ask The Black Man! Does The Man Or Woman Do The Most Work In Bed?Was I Right To Sue My Friend?I Keep Attracting The Same Type Of Women. How Do I Break This Cycle?Am I Wrong To Ask My Wife To Cook For Me?Self-Sabotage: LL Cool J Believes Success Is Scarier Than [...]

I Keep Attracting The Same Type Of Women. How Do I Break This Cycle?

YOU KEEP ATTRACTING THE SAME KIND OF WOMEN BECAUSE THOSE DIFFERENT KIND OF WOMEN ARE SOMETIMES VERY HARD TO COME ACROSS.

ANYWAY YOU BLACK MEN WILL TEND TO GO FOR THE BEHIND WHEN INSTEAD YALL SHOULD BEING GOING FOR THE MIND BECAUSE A BODY WITHOUT A BRAIN WON’T LEAD YOU ANYWHERE BUT,TO A DEAD END.

THOSE WH@RES TEND TO USE THEIR BEHIND TO GET YOU BLACK MEN ATTENTION BECAUSE THEY ARE BRAINLESS AND SENSELESS (in other words their conversation is usually not based on anything but,their body and money instead of those meaningful and important things in life)

LEARN TO NOT FOLLOW UP BEHIND A WOMAN BOOTY BECAUSE ALL THAT IT IS DOING TO YOU BLACK MEN IS BLOCKING YALLS WAY OF THE REAL WORLD WHICH COULD OR WOULD LEAD YOU TO THOSE REAL WOMEN.SO START PUSHING THOSE DUMMIES OUT OF YOUR WAY SO,TO FIND YOUR WAY TO THOSE REAL WOMEN

BELIEVE ME THOUGH,ITS NOT THOSE MANY REAL WOMEN OUT THERE BUT,YOU MAY FIND ONE IF YOU JUST PUSH YOUR WAY THROUGH THOSE DUMMIES.

THOSE WOMEN THAT WILL THROW THEIR BEHIND IN YOU BLACK MEN FACE JUST TO TRY AND GET WITH YALL ARE NOTHING BUT SOME DUMMIES THAT WILL PROBABLY CAUSE YOU PROBLEMS LATER ON IN THE RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE THEY ARE LIARS AND THEY ARE VERY TRICKY.

A REAL WOMAN FOR INSTANCE WOULD BE SOMETHING LIKE (Rev.Run Wife) HE MADE A GOOD WOMAN OUT OF HER.BUT,HIS BROTHER RUSSEL SIMMONS HAD GOTTEN MARRIED TO A DUMMY THAT GOES BY THE NAME OF KIMORA.

[...] I Keep Attracting The Same Type Of Women. How Do I Break This Cycle? [...]

[...] from Ask The Black Man! Does The Man Or Woman Do The Most Work In Bed?Was I Right To Sue My Friend?I Keep Attracting The Same Type Of Women. How Do I Break This Cycle?Am I Wrong To Ask My Wife To Cook For Me?Self-Sabotage: LL Cool J Believes Success Is Scarier Than [...]

I hate posting but couldn’t resist. And a bit of a warning…I’m longwinded, lol. First, I have to pay my respects to this man. It is a sign of maturity to take ownership of the choices in women he has made instead of blaming others. I have been told I am a great catch, I think the reason why is I always ask myself what kind of person do I need to be to find and keep the kind of man I want. Personally, I would be disappointed in myself if their life wasn’t better because I was in it. I look for the same. I can always tell the jokers from the catches. The catches don’t blame the world, women, or race for not having what they want. Instead they focus on making the necessary adjustments to attract and keep that special someone. They don’t become bitter about their own mistakes, they learn from them. They don’t waste their time going on about how they are good men or about how women in general do not appreciate them (warning sign of deeper problems), because they simply choose the kind of women who do and take responsibility when they haven’t. And…a degree doesn’t automatically make you a good catch. Unfortunately, many black people believe it does. I have several and it has had little to do with maintaining a good relationship, except maybe the one in psychology ;o)
In my book simply asking the question has put you on the path to attracting the right kind of women. Trust me they have already seen you and if you were with the wrong kind (male or female) they kept walking, lol. Make adjustments to where you are looking and remember to spend time looking at a person from the shoulders up. Many men chase things that don’t make good partners and I understand, lol, being the visual creatures that you are…but beauty will fade and there is no negotiating that fact. If you are looking for someone long-term you have to understand that physical beauty will be gone eventually, none of us can stop it. And remember even a good woman may not be a good match. You shouldn’t look for any good woman but find that best friend, the one who understands you or is willing to try, knows your faults and still feels like they are lucky to have you, will care enough to be there through good and bad, will work hard to use what they have to add to the pot from education to charm, is committed to the relationship, believe the family you have created together takes priority, AND shares your values and ideas about life. Then, make sure you are that same kind of man, the kind that deserves a good woman and will not do her harm because there are so many bitter and angry people claiming to be good catches with high/unrealistic expectations of what others should bring to the table and low expectations of themselves. I have never had a hard time finding a good man and I believe that we draw people to us that reflect our state of mind and if by chance you attract someone who doesn’t…well then smile, be polite (if you can), and move on. And please be respectful of a woman’s right to not choose you if she does not believe you are compatible, because the good ones are watching to see how you treat other people. Just my two cents.

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