you’re ugly and boring

You’re reaping what you sowed!!
When you were younger, you ignored men who approached you because you thought you were very fine.. And now that you’re old and ugly, you’re running around looking for a man!!
Typical Black Women!!
I hope you teach the other young women not to be idiots like you! I meet a lot of women like you at the club…and I usually know that they will end up just like you did!!
WORD OF ADVICE:- Young women– Do not ignore men when youre young and keep waiting because one day you will end up like this lady!!

Bump all that you two below me stated! I guess I will continue to say this until it sinks into SOMEBODY’S head! Love yourself first! Loving yourself also means loving Jehovah God bcuz He IS love. No human being on this earth can make you feel as good as YOU can. Nobody should define anybody’s worth on this earth. YOU define your worth! Nobody is gonna love you until you learn to love yourself first. You have to be okay to be by yourself and enjoy your own company. That way you will set the standards of what kinda man you want in your life and what you will and will not allow in your relationship. My answer will ALWAYS be “to seek the kingdom first and everything else will be added to you”. Until you do, you will still be wishing upon a star and self-pitying. Please women young or old…get a backbone and value WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU STAND FOR! No man can ever do that for you.

naw the problem is that men can sense that you may be desperate and that is not attractive. sounds like tou need to get to loving you first and foremost before a man can love you the way you want. anyway get some self confidence and go out fierce and I bet you will attract more men than you ever thought you could. Good luck!!!

AW I FEEL SO SAD FOR THIS WOMAN. I’M SURE SHE IS BEAUTIFUL, BUT THE BEST ADVICE I WOULD GIVE HER FROM WOMAN TO WOMAN IS TO RECOGNIZE HER OWN BEAUTY AND TO KNOW THAT JUST BECAUSE SHE’S “ALONE” DOESN’T MEAN SHE HAS TO BE “LONELY” BECAUSE THERE’S A DIFFERENCE. ONCE SHE STARTS SPEAKING POSITIVELY OF HERSELF TO HERSELF AND GAINING THAT CONFIDENCE ALL THERE WILL BE LEFT TO DO IS BE PATIENT AND PRAY. THE LORD WILL BLESS YOU WITH A LOVING MAN MY SISTA. MUCH LUV.

DON’T NOBODY WANT ME EITHER…. OH WELL

Many women, who are so full of themselves in the early years, end up lonely and used by mid 30s. Reality kicks in and so too does depression. Many turn to this ‘tough as nails’ attitude to hide the pain, other go eat some coochie from then on, but they’re running from dealing with the truth of being unapproachable, uneventful, uninspiring, etc. If your man can’t brag to everyone that you’re such a joy and you’re so inspirational and influential, in his life, you’re just a lay! Lays get tiring really quick, and will be left to rot! Women need to be interesting outside of getting banged. If all you’re about is shopping, working, and shooting your mouth off, what part of that is a man supposed to really go all in for? Many black women are unapproachable, and will DISS you if you’re not the perfect looker on approach. Also, many are looking for a very narrow selection of men, thus they are overlooking very good choices. The problem can’t be black men, when other races, and other non-African America types of ‘black women’ are finding black men just fine. It’s YOU!

@illpoetic. First of all doesn’t ill mean sick??? Anyway, it is not always US, so you can chill out with that bulls**t…. Some of these men don’t know how to approach us and when they do they usually do or say something to turn us off. Not just black men but all men. well for me at least. ugh… my advice to homegirl is too work on yourself while you’re alone. Thats why your alone in the first place. To get yourself together. Emotionally, physically; whatever!!! I know it’s not fun being alone but hey. the person your gonna spend the most time with in this lifetime is yourself. Get to know #1. DEUCES!!!

yeah she just sounds like..she needs a life outside of dating..take up a class or hang at interesting places…open up your options..learn to let your hair down

Let’s forget all about the fantasies & the beliefs for a moment…any woman can get a man. One of the great (and unfair) ironies of life is that sex/mates are too easy for women to get and too hard for men. If you are “single,” you have no further to reason than the nearest mirror to ascertain why. Like my late grandmother used to say, “If you’re not happy with your life, it probably means that you are expecting too much or too little!” Too many of you women act as though you’re in a relationship by yourself…in other words, everything is not about YOU. While we men could learn to be understanding about how you “feel,” if you want to attract a man, LEARN TO THINK BEYOND YOUR EMOTIONS; everything is not always about “feelings!”

Beyond-The-Political-Spectrum.blogspot

I can identify with this sista, I have had my share of feeling less than. Sh** there are some men that I felt that was just out of my reach. Oh Well, may they find what they are looking for. Then a gentleman informed me that it was not me, but how I felt about me. Men are just as confused and lonely as we are.

I am a black professional woman in her forties, attractive, divorced for 6 six years and two wonderful kids. I am single also, I have tried online dating, going out to different places, functions. This is what me and my single friends do, we try to enjoy life. I agree with the lady, it is very hard to meet a decent nice man who’s not into playing games. Yes I have my standards, no thugs, drug dealers, non working, uneducated man will not come into my life and interrupt the peace and ” no drama life style that I have along with my children. Now you noticed, I didnt say our black brothers, because we cannot single out our black men in this way, I have dated outside my race and believe me, it happens in other cultures too. I am single because I have not yet found that man that is understanding, sweet, emotional loving and that will love me unconditionally… nope haven’t met him. Like some of the men will say that all black women are looking for the cute, fine, big home, nice car brother.. listen.. cute doesn’t last long, the oh so fine body he will lose eventually, the car and the house, doesn’t matter if he lives in an apartment, or drives a regular car, as long as I know the guy is hard working just as I am and want something out of life. I work each and everyday and take care of my kids, and I don’t ask anybody for hand outs,because I don’t have too. Yes, I am a very strong minded sister, not angry or mean, and have issues, i just know how to handle and take care of my family. Why wouldn’t a man like a woman like that??? One thing that is oh so true, as beautiful black women, we have to love ourselves first before we can invite anyone in. It doesn’t matter if you have large breast and a big butt, those physicalities does not guarantee a good man… believe me, I know.

Its funny how black men always are the first to generalize all the black women that they have dealt with to put down ALL the black women that they HAVEN’T dealt with and is that fair? I KNOW that I’m a good woman even if nobody else does. I know what I want and how I want to be treated and like Jehovah God says, “treat others how you would want to be treated” and I’m sorry,, I’m not going to lower my standards anymore just for the sake of having ANY man. I want a particular man in my life and that is a Godly-devoted, God-trusting and Godly man in my life that I can grow with and that we can learn from each other. Just the way that God intended for it to be. I don’t want a wordly man for God says the ones that are in the world will try to lead you into worldy events. And I’m at a point in my life that I don’t want certain things and certain ppl in my life. And I just won’t settle. So I’m sorry if men of this day don’t understand my logic. But it’s not for anyone else outside my circle of ppl that know me to understand why I do, say and think. They are irrelevent to me. I only care about what Jehovah God thinks and how He wants me to live my life bcuz being that I have a good relationship with Him and I seeks after Him through every thought and every deed. Humans are big disappointments and I trust no one. So men, please don’t psych yourself into believing that I’m “trying to act tough” bcuz I have the experiences of the relationships of man to know what’s going on in my life. And if yall was to meet any of the men that I dealt with, they would tell you that it wasn’t me that caused our relationship to fail. It was their stupidity and foolishness.

The men do state a common theme….Brothers see the same women who wouldn’t give them a second look back in the day, now in their late 30′s/40′s complaining that they can’t find anyone. It’s hard for some brothers to sympathize when they see the same women who passed them over for the “bad boys” back in the day. It just is what it is.

This is not all inclusive, but if some of these women had given that quiet, studious brother who was under the radar back in the day a chance, they would still have their educated professional man.

BELLA_PRIMA_DONNA…I HEAR U GURL…LOL..LOL…ONLY THING I CAN SAY IS KEEP YOUR HEAD UP. GOD KNOWS ITS ALOT OF WOMEN OUT HERE THAT IS LONELY AND WOULD LIKE A COMPANION, BUT GOD KNOWS WHAT’S BEST FOR US WOMEN..PRAY AND ASK GOD TO SEND YOU THE PERSON/MATE THAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU. AS WOMEN SOMETIMES WE ASK FOR SO MUCH. WE WANT THE MONEY THE HOUSE THE CARS AND DUDE HAS TO HAVE SOME KIND OF MONEY IN THE BANK..WE HAVE TO LOOK BEYOND THAT AND GO FOR THE HEART AND HOW HE TREATS YOU..IM NOT SAYING GO FOR THE BROKE BROKE MEN THAT ISNT ABOUT NUFFIN. SOME WOMEN LOOK FOR THE MATERIAL THINGS THAT A MAN CAN GIVE..SEARCH THE HEART SOMETIMES NOT WITH YOUR EYES..

CHANGE UR FUCHED UP ATTITUDE AND YOU MIGHT CHANGE THE WORLD AROUND YOU!!!!

The advice given in the write up is good. You have to appreciate yourself first, then get involved in activities where you are likely to meet people with common interests. And above all, ask God for a man. Also ask God to tell you where you may be coming up short. Do you have a “take me as I am” attitude? Are you doing a realistic self assessment of your appearance? Everything needs maintenance to run right. How is your personal hygiene. How is your attitude. How do you dress, (and people please don’t say that isn’t important because it is). Do you go places acting desperate. Are you too picky. There is somebody out there for everyone.

I hear this story from many women who wonder why they are still single or alone, but in this woman’s case she has to first love and appreciate the things that she does have to offer a man. She to gain some self confidence and self-esteem. There isn’t anything wrong with being single either embrace being single. During the time you are single is the time to learn what makes you happy and concentrate on doing those things that make you happy. A man is an extension of who you are as a woman. Another thing to remember is not all men look for those superficial qualities in a woman because at the end of the day it is all about personality and what is on the inside no one wants a man who is dating them strictly on their butt or good looks. Last but not least do not go out with the intent of looking for a man go out to have a good time and God will make a way for the right man to find you.

@illpoetic: you sounds so judgemental it’s a shame this woman is saying she’s lonely that doesn’t make her a bad person or mean she’s done something wrong like being arrogant or unapproachable, though it may be hard for your narrow mind to concieve there are some good women out there who just happen to still be single, just as there are some good men out there who are still single. there’s no need to go bashing african american women just because you’ve had issues with some and it’s sad because i never hear men of other races jumping up so quick to bash their women, but some black men like yourself (not all, but some) are quick to blame a sister whenever there’s an issue we should be sticking up for each other and building each other up, not cutting each other down just because someone cut you down…it’s not about whose fault something is, this letter is simply from a lonely human being, you could try showing some compassion creep.

I’m single.40s. n/s, n/d. no kids, have a job for now (transitioning to my art career), never been married, seeking that nonjudmental, non dramitic, material girl lady who can be funny, intelligent. hard worker, and a freak…she doesn’t have to look like Beyonce (with TOO much makeup). or look like Sade or Free or Serena, but no BUTTAFACES, either…….

This is very true for all the good black men out there! there some black women out there that are just so full of them selfs when it comes to sectecting there men. i just got hurt for the first time ever in my 23years of living because i gave into this women that i thought! was the one, an had me thinking that! an wanted me to be her man the day after our first date, huh? it was a lillte over five years ago i djed this womens 17 birthd party! i was 18 we never chill or got up or went on a date. we ran into one another on black planet! shes 22 now im 23.got up an finally went on a date! dam i was happy cuz it ment a lot to me! “i like you but i dont know you from a can of paint less take it slow” she took ofense to my statement an it made her feel bad just because i didnt wanna rush! into any fast with her an get hurt? an wht i do give her a chance!? rush into it not know what she had in store for me! the girl i always wanted turned into a nightmare! she told me she cut ever one off just to take to me, she lied! she told me she loved me, she lied! she told i never wanna think about the though of loosing you! she lied,even was going to church with this women!im not the kind of man to cheap or hurt anyone! she wanted me to have a FACEBOOK so bad, i never had an wasnt into it anyway? what i do make one just for her..? now all my frindes start to hit me up! one week my best friend lisa hit me up best friend! now she leaves a commet on my wall saying are you ganna pick me up for ya party i said yeah! my girl see the comment just like tht she remove the relationship of facebook an friend who the f**k is lisa? im done with you u been plying me i never liked you anyway,..im like huh its my best friend my home girl im sorry for not telling about all my friends an family didnt think it would be a problem, went out my way for her even had lisa call her an her whole family still didnt kick in evey saying shes crazy! she cant even take ya word for if an your her man if she care that much about you anthony she would have put up a fight she never cared about u! is what my home girl lisa said. it hurt me so bad that i was mad a lisa but she dint do anything wrong or mean to mess up things!now im hear hurt so bad from this whole thing im not hurt because we only been togther 3-4 weeks not even im hurt because i gave her my heart cuz she came back into my life an hurt me i thought it was ment to be!

so for all the women out there love your self no matter what you go through in ya pass relationships an dont take it out on a good man like me! an learn to love your man for who he is an not wht he doesnt have! because at the end of the day your ganna be lonly feel unwanted cuz the good men are not ganna put up with BS!

one of the worse ways to end a realationship, is to say all the things that went wrong! end stead of talking about the good things that happen! you only making matters worse to the person that hurt, this is why peolpe turn crazy an loose there minds! this happened to me an i am going about it an a diffrent way cuz i know i was real an never hurt anyone. you just do everything to clear her from your head, although its not easy! i had to delete my facebook cuz i really never wanted one in the first place all cuz of her! so i wont keep lookn lik a fool! burn pics! live ya life, talk to ya female friends, cuz if you dont you will turn crazy…lol

She needs to stop worrying and take up a hobby to occupy her time. The more she worries the less likely she’ll find the man she desire. Plenty of people found their S/O by accident and going with the flow. Also all of this blaming Black women and bashing shyt needs to stop. It’s good Black women out here. Stop dealing with trifiling azz women basically. I’ve been hurt and played before. But I don’t let the past determine or carry over to the future though. This woman will be alright. She just need to cool out and focus on positive things.

I’m not sure about other men, but for me I think personality outshines everything. You can be a 7 with a 10 personality and you’ll look better then a 10 with a 7 attitude.

“I want a companion to love me for me…”

I notice many people are saying this, women in particular. It’s almost cliche’.

The question is, are you willing to do that for somebody? Can YOU love someone for who they are? I’m not sure many women can. How can you love somebody for “who they are” if you have a 175-item list of criteria they must meet before you go on a date with them? Sure, that may not be this woman…she has other issues. But it’s the case with so many others.

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HELL NAW THEIR AIN’T NOBODY OUT HERE FOR NOBODY FOR 1 WOMEN TO PICK AND SELF FISH AND 2 WHEN WOMEN GET A GOOD MAN THEY F**K IT UP AND 3 WOMEN DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO GET MONEY IS THIS RECESSION THEY JUST WANT A NIGGA TO BUY THEM NICE S**T WHILE THEY GO OUT AND CHEAT AND PARTY