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I’ve Never Been To His House or Met His Family. Why?

Written by Ask The Black Man on August 5, 2009 5:43 pm

Dear Blackman,

I have been in a relationship for a year and a half and I’ve yet to meet anyone in his family or visit his home.  He claims his sister and her two children have been living with him while she sorts out her marital problems.  I’ve met most of his close friends, but I really don’t think that means much.  He’s met my parents once, but that is only because they live 3,000 miles away.  After a few months into the relationship, he made it pretty clear that he didn’t want to see other people. My instinct is telling me I should call this one quits and use my plans to leave the area for graduate school as an excuse.  I’ve been screwed over in the past because of my own failure to accept a person’s actions for what they really are.  I’m really digging this guy, but I don’t want to waste my time if he’s not serious enough about me to introduce me to his family.  I had intentions of asking him, but I don’t want to put him on the defensive. What should I do?

Trying To Get Off The Relationship Merry Go Round

The Black Man:

Hello Trying To Get Off The Relationship Merry Go Round,

It is strange that you have not met any of his family and you have never been to his house since you have been dating him. Have you ever asked to go to his house? If so, what did he say?

Before you make any decisions on the situation, talk to him and ask him all the questions that you want to know and get to the bottom of this. Do not worry about him getting defensive about it. If you are looking at a long term relationship with him, then you should get answers on this.

In this circumstance, usually the first scenario that comes to mind is that he is living with another woman. I have seen similar situations and it has also been because the man lives with his mother, is embarrassed of his living conditions, embarrassed about his family or doesn’t have a good relationship with them.  He hides this in fear of losing the woman that he is dating.

Communication is vital in relationships. Let him know how you feel about this issue and ask him all of the questions you want to know. Don’t hold back out of fear of him getting upset. After you get his responses you can assess how you want to move forward in the relationship.

Good Luck.

TBM

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  • http://www.blackplanet.com/sima430/ sima430

    Because he married, or living with another woman. That’s the only reason why you never step one foot in his house, or met any of his immediate family members. Please wait up, you to damn old to fall for this.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/STL2THICK2/ STL2THICK2

    Baby gurl get sum get rite the man says his sista & her 2 kids…lmfao…meaning n black womans terms thats his woman…lol..dont b nieve move on tell him u know thats his chyck 7 bounce dont b silly ask any woman black,white,brown,purple all will say thats his woman..Wake up sweety…We the real women know this is the oldest damm trick ever u just havent heard it b4 & never stop your career 4 a man unless he is ya husband & not then cause it might b 4 the best…game baby gurl recognize game!!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/meek3958/ meek3958

    you just plain blind or just dumb

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/BlackCasper2001/ BlackCasper2001

    He could be telling the truth. Why is it that a man’s seriousness in a woman is always being measured? Don’t women know that they can scare a man off by always showcasing their criteria to a man. A woman will act like her agenda or criteria determines the entire relationship. Think about how the man feels about the situation sometimes.

    N.S. Ugezene

    http://stores.lulu.com/NSUgezene

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/JB_thereal_3000/ JB_thereal_3000

    when i dont introduce a girl to my fam that means i have no intentions on staying with her for that long. she just a booty call. i dont love you that much or at all i like you but i dont love u. so wake up, get a career and keep moving.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/TanDan34/ TanDan34

    You might want to read Steve Harvey’s Act Like a Lady, Think Like A Man. You are definitely a “throwback”. Never put yourself off for a man. Find what makes YOU happy and then try to fit him in. Everybody reading this knows that’s his wife/woman and kids. He’s playing you.

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