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Why Are So Many Men Afraid Of Commitment?

Written by Ask The Black Man on August 5, 2009 10:54 am

urlDear Blackman,

Why are so many men afraid of commitment?

-Britt

The Blackman:

Hi Britt,

I don’t think that so many men are afraid of commitment. A distinction needs to be made between not being ready and being afraid of commitment. There are a lot of men that want to be in a committed relationship but may not be ready at a particular time in their life. That’s not being afraid. It’s just about understanding where you are in your life.

In some cases women interpret that as being afraid or take it personal and feel it has to do with them.

Also, in some scenarios a man can start dating a woman and have good synergy. He might want to continue dating the woman without being committed and she might want a commitment. He may not be in a place in his life where he wants to be in a relationship. That doesn’t necessarily mean that he wants to be with other women.

There are in fact men who are afraid of commitment but not ALL.

Sometimes it’s just about timing.

I hope this gives you some clarity on the topic.

TBM

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  • http://www.blackplanet.com/gren1shaw2/ gren1shaw2

    Most men are afraid of commitment because of us my sister.I believe some men are left that we have not destroyed. Men have put their trust in us as a respected partner and we have reneged on our commitment. (We still have to spend his time with our GIRLS).Of course “I was doing this before I met you.” Commitment means man and woman.Yeah I know the n****r do us too, but it is up to us my SISTERS to keep the relaionship a commitment one…It takes two.We must be commited to each other, time, trust, respect, and a whole lot of LOVING…communication.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/GDAC55/ GDAC55

    Another good topic. My woman says I’m afraid of commitment. I have been with this woman for 7 years now. She has been wanting to get married from week 2 in the relationship. She has never been married, I was married for 17 years before that marriage fell apart. I love her dearly but she scares me. I feel that she really doesn’t love ME, but just wants the status of being married.

    She is selfish and self centered and has no empathy. Case in point (one of many), she recently got over $30,000 from a lawsuit. I just got a surprise car tax bill of $1,000 (thanks to my son) and so I cannot register my car right now and I am stressed out about it. First she offered to lend me $1,000 and pay her back $50 a week. Two days later I asked her about it and she said that she is still thinking about it, she doesn’t know if she could let the money go. If the roles had been reversed, not only would I have GIVEN her the money, I would have gone to the tax office and paid it for her and gave her some pocket money.

    I may be a little superficial because I love the way she looks and we laugh a lot, but when things aren’t going good for her I suffer. She is committed to herself only.

    Anyway my point is I am not afraid to commit, I guess I am waiting for her to change. Which she has been a little a time, but I fear the time to marry her will never come. I don’t want to end up with a woman who behaves like this for the rest of my life, and I don’t really want to waste any more time with her, even though I love her.

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