The United States House of Representatives voted to ban the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy in regards to disclosing sexual orientation in the military.
While we can applaud this is as a step towards tolerance in the military we think this policy should be applied in other places. Some things we simply don’t want to know and if no one asks, we pray no one ever tells us.
DON’T ASK…
How Lil Wayne snuck that iPod into jail…
According to Tony Yayo (and many other ex-cons) smuggling items into jail through your rectum, known as “Boofing” is a common practice. But the last thing we need to think about is Weezy trying to cram 16 Gigs worth of music into his backyard just so he could listen to Drake in the bing.
DON’T ASK…
What sex was like between Delonte West and LeBron’s mom
Even if this turns out to be a lie we’ve all been scarred by those three milli-seconds that we imagined the two of them doing the nasty. And if it is true, for all that is good and Holy please don’t pay either of them off for a reality TV series so we can hear the ugly details of what other toys Delonte carried around in that guitar case.
DON’T ASK…
What Amber Rose’s speaking voice sounds like…
You just realized you hardly ever hear her speak huh? She stands there like a good FemmeBot, looking hot and manages to make headlines without saying a word. There’s a reason for that. It has to do with mind control and the illuminati. Don’t question it.
DON’T ASK
Who allegedly beat up Kat Stacks
Bossip.com reported earlier today that about 50 mysterious people supposedly jumped the Youtube Jump-Off and left her with a fat lip. Many comments asked for proof via pictures or video. Stop it. Whether this story is true or not is irrelevant. Why? Because it will serve as a warning to future chicken heads that there are more dire consequences to their fine feathered philandering than crabs. If it’s true, Stacks is gonna be on Youtube any day now to show off her wounds like Perez Hilton and if it’s not we all gotta good chuckle imagining how loudly she clucked during the attack. No chickens were harmed in the creation of this post.
speaking of Chicken..
DON’T ASK
Why the caloric count of the KFC Double Down is only listed at 540 calories.
One original chicken breast is listed at 400 calories by itself. An extra crispy breast is 470 calories. So the sandwich with TWO breasts AND bacon is only half the calories of two chicken breasts? But you don’t want to think about that. You just want to close your eyes and enjoy the heart-stopping goodness guilt-free.
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