I can’t believe this idea survived the frat house living room joke circle.

“Look at the chocolate man. He’s absolutely faaaaascinating.”

Come on, now. If there were a spray that turned white boys into chocolate men, it’d never sell enough units to pay for the commercial spot.

“Ummm, that’s alright. You can have the soupbone and the ‘swaaaagger.’”

You know that “swaaaaaager” comes with snarky finger quotations.

There’s also no greater display of white entitlement than biting a stranger on the ass cheek. It doesn’t matter if he’s made of chocolate. If you bite someone’s ass on the bus, you’re sending a message of dominance matchable only by a nigga like Fleece Johnson.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Looking for the Vanilla Man spray so you can get a home loan? ron@ronmexicocity.com