“It’s definitely not as many video hoes as it used to be.” - Slim Thug

Yes, Slim Thug has been economically humbled by the recession. So much so that the Houston boss’ rap name may actually make some sense now.

So, how has the slumped economic climate affected the Thug Boss? The Daily Show finds out in this in-depth report. According to their findings, there’s been a cutback of 60 percent less video hoes.

Check out the video below.

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Inauguration is on Tuesday, and everyone’s looking to Obama to get us out of this craptastic recession. So Svedka Vodka came up with a hilarious alternative to the $700 billion bailout that is both economical AND delicious.

Okay okay, so the recession is actually not funny at all. But like, if you can’t joke about things that suck, they’ll definitely suck a whole lot more. And since Svedka’s not that expensive, you can and should definitely treat yourself to a bottle and make martinis for you and your friends at home. You know, since today’s tough times have most people hesitant about going out to a bar and buying girls a bunch of drinks. Which sucks for both you AND us, trust me.

SVEDKA’S $700 BILLION MARTINI

Liberal amount (2 parts) SVEDKA Vodka

1 part fresh lime juice

½ part simple sugar

Conservative splash of Lemon Juice

• Add contents to martini shaker
• Shake
• Pour over ice
• Garnish with $700 billion of freshly-minted US currency. If short on cash, fresh mint can be substituted.
• Drink to a better four years than the last eight!

The stock market is plunging but your rap career doesn’t have to go the same route. With a few fiscally responsible adjustments the flossiest rapper can learn to ball on a budget.

1) Cut your rates: Rappers like Jean Grae, Saigon and Sean Price have taken to selling their verses on Myspace and and Craigslist for a few hundred bucks a pop. It beats waiting around for royalty checks from record labels printed on rubber paper.
2) Hock your grills: They’re already out of style. You notice even Paul Wall doesn’t smile as much in his recent photos? Bring those dental diamonds down to the pawnshop, take the cash and invest in weed and coffee, cuz folks are about to be stressed the hell out.
3) Go Independent: And that does not mean signing to MySpace Records (Wasn’t the whole point of the Internet to sidestep the labels?)
4) Sell street team posters: All of those old Foxy Brown and Lil Kim snipes can catch you a buck or two at a swap meet. Just don’t bother with eBay at this point, hustle hand-to-hand.
5) Kill the Escalade Lease: If you must ball at least get the Hybrid that will be out in a month or cop the Mercedes-Benz E320 Bluetec that gets 27 MPG thanks to its diesel engine. Or just walk, bitch.
6) Stop making songs about money: In 2008 alone we already have “Queens Get The Money” (Nas) “Money”(The Game) “Money Make Me Come” (Rick Ross) “Money Make The World Go Round” (G-Unit) “Where’s Mu Money” (Busta Rhymes) and “Got Money” (Lil Wayne) …we get the point. We need to embrace more blue-collar concepts like Cunninlynguists Will Rap For Food.
7) Stop Rapping: Seriously. The laws of supply and demand are killing the rap market. If even half of you hang up the mic for a year and get the fans hungry while you work on QUALITY projects, your music won’t get lost in the glut of b.s. being forced down our throats from all angles.
8 ) No More Videos, Just Commercials: Stop spending money for music videos that just make money for the owners of Youtube. BET isn’t playing them anymore and TRL is dead so who are you making them for? Instead, make a buck and get them underwritten. Hey Q-Tip, “Gettin’ Up” is now sponsored by Cialis. Cha-Ching.
9) Bring Back the White Tee: Footlocker 5 for $20s were the most economically sound fashion trend ever, just don’t have them down to your knees, fellas. Nobitchasness.
10) Make Your Own Bling: For about $2000 you can send that dude that carries your weed to Gemology School and get him to pick your diamonds for a fraction of what you’re paying now. You see where Jacob is anyway.