Read more about Want To Drink Away Your Tax Troubles? Try This!

Inauguration is on Tuesday, and everyone’s looking to Obama to get us out of this craptastic recession. So Svedka Vodka came up with a hilarious alternative to the $700 billion bailout that is both economical AND delicious. Read more about Need A Bailout AND A Cocktail? Drink A $700 Billion Martini!

Cocktails aren’t for everybody, and the list of reasons for that is a mile long. Soda adds calories, juices don’t make you as drunk as you could be (now, that’s just a lie), and a lot of guys think cocktails are only for women, anyway. But some folks, like me, just enjoy the taste of pure, ungirlified drink every now and again. And for those of you who do, too, here are a few brand suggestions to try on your next trip to the bar. Read more about Better Off Alone

Many of you thought that card you got from the DMV was a license to be an asshole, but found out in traffic court that you were very wrong. Well, the good folks at Absolut Vodka have answered your prayers. As part of their “Be Kanye” campaign they’ve developed a pill that will let you look and act just like Kanye West for up to four hours at a time and cure that bloated feeling you’ve had since lunch.

Read more about Being Kanye West Is Absolutely Crazy