Combs released the statement via YouTube, which features the entertainment mogul soaking in a bubble bath surrounded by Ciroc bottles, while taunting his competition with the “apology.”

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“Ladies and gentlemen, I come to you today as a man. I feel like only a true man steps up to the plate and people may not agree with his position. And that man says ‘I’m sorry,’ I’m sorry to all I may have offended. We’re sorry for being the best. I am sorry that just  this weekend, we got awarded the prestigious Double Gold Medal from the San Francisco World Spirits Award for the best ultra premium vodka. This is a fact, you can Google it. I am sorry I came out with these flavors that taste so good.”

The words will surely aggravate liquor tycoon M.J. Silver, who declared a “vodka war” on Combs’ Ciroc, after Combs was quoted as saying “if you’re not drinking Ciroc vodka, then you’re drinking pee pee.”

Last month Silver, who owns Georgi Argent and members of his staff attempted to deliver a toilet full of Ciroc vodka to Combs’ Manhattan offices, but was rejected by the mogul’s burley security guards.

“I am sorry that the competitions sales are down and we are up,” said Combs as he held a champagne glass of Ciroc in the tub. “There’s nothing I can do about that. I am sorry that I am coming to you live from my bubble bath. I’m not really sorry. It tastes good.”

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Listen, man – sometimes you just don’t realize it’s April 15 until it’s April 13, and you have two days to do your taxes, but what the hell is a 1044? After ruminating and stressing for a few hours, then finally taking the plastic wrap off of that Turbo Tax set you bought, you either call an accountant or do what many do when it’s tax crunch time: file for extension.

With all that stress, you could use a drink! So celebrate your extension (or your returns!) by treating yourself to a bottle of Grey Goose and an Eau de Extension! Check out the recipe below.

GREY GOOSE EAU DE EXTENSION

1 part GREY GOOSE® La Poire Flavored Vodka

2 lemon wedges

1 part Green Chartreuse Liqueur

1 part simple syrup

1 part pear nectar

• In a cocktail shaker, combine all ingredients.
• Add cubed ice and shake vigorously.
• Double strain and serve in a rocks glass.
• Sip now, file later.

Not exactly sure what a “part” is? Watch our instructional video!

Want a drink with a little more bite? Try this drink!

Inauguration is on Tuesday, and everyone’s looking to Obama to get us out of this craptastic recession. So Svedka Vodka came up with a hilarious alternative to the $700 billion bailout that is both economical AND delicious.

Okay okay, so the recession is actually not funny at all. But like, if you can’t joke about things that suck, they’ll definitely suck a whole lot more. And since Svedka’s not that expensive, you can and should definitely treat yourself to a bottle and make martinis for you and your friends at home. You know, since today’s tough times have most people hesitant about going out to a bar and buying girls a bunch of drinks. Which sucks for both you AND us, trust me.

SVEDKA’S $700 BILLION MARTINI

Liberal amount (2 parts) SVEDKA Vodka

1 part fresh lime juice

½ part simple sugar

Conservative splash of Lemon Juice

• Add contents to martini shaker
• Shake
• Pour over ice
• Garnish with $700 billion of freshly-minted US currency. If short on cash, fresh mint can be substituted.
• Drink to a better four years than the last eight!

Cocktails aren’t for everybody, and the list of reasons for that is a mile long. Soda adds calories, juices don’t make you as drunk as you could be (now, that’s just a lie), and a lot of guys think cocktails are only for women, anyway. But some folks, like me, just enjoy the taste of pure, ungirlified drink every now and again. And for those of you who do, too, here are a few brand suggestions to try on your next trip to the bar.

Many of you thought that card you got from the DMV was a license to be an asshole, but found out in traffic court that you were very wrong. Well, the good folks at Absolut Vodka have answered your prayers. As part of their “Be Kanye” campaign they’ve developed a pill that will let you look and act just like Kanye West for up to four hours at a time and cure that bloated feeling you’ve had since lunch.

After I got over the pause-worthy thought of swallowing Kanye West pills I washed two of them down with a swig of Absolut Vodka, just to see what would happen. First thing I felt was my head swell to twice its normal size and I became overcome with an intense sense of entitlement. My cell phone blew up with text messages from Rhymefest asking if he could trade his publishing on “Jesus Walks” for another single with me and I politely told him that Charles Hamilton has filled his spot now and that he should go re-join Consequence in the stock room at Food Lion.

However, the next thing I felt was the glare of Jay-Z for endorsing this throat-scorching swill when I had a lifetime supply of Armadale vodka sitting in my basement. I shrugged it off, threw up the diamond and went shopping. Absolut is paying for my tour. And I’m selling more records than you. No Roger, No Rerun, No rent.

After filling my G5 Mercedes Wagon with Louis Vuitton Monogramouflage luggage I text Dame Dash and remind him that I still sell more records than he does. Who’s the accessory now, bitch?

I hit the studio and start working on my own Barack Obama mixtape. I find some old Johnny Pate to sample to keep that Chicago steez and show these lames how far ahead of the game I am. I should have a cabinet spot locked by the time I get to the hook.

By now I start feeling thirsty and take a swig of Aquadeco bottled water, but it tastes funny. I spit it out onto the ground and it’s brown. I look at the bottle and look through the clear fluid and take another swig. Again, funny taste. I finally realize that I’ve been talking so much shit that everything that comes out of my mouth is facetious…ha, ha. Get it? Of course you don’t but if you act like you don’t get my punch lines you’re not cool. And I’ve given Jay-Z, Common and Talib enough dope ass beats that they have no choice but to co-sign my skills. You hate it. I know. I put Mad Skillz onto my backpack game and he’s down now. You see the sparks and shit shooting out of his backpack now? I did dat.

My dentist calls but I ignore it. My crooked jaw is a badge of honor. And as long as I dress this good I don’t need straight teeth. Diddy taught me that. Besides, talking shit feels good through clenched teeth…Plus I can go as the Brown Hornet for Halloween this year and kill it.

And just like that I black out. When I wake up I’m on stage at Bonnaroo getting pelted with glowsticks. Fuck this. Tomorrow I’mma drink some wheat grass and become Lupe Fiasco. Same wardrobe, less hazardous.