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Are-We-There-Yet

With his latest sitcom Ice Cube hopes to redefine reality TV. The hip-hop vet turned Hollywood powerhouse is spinning off his successful 2005 film, “Are We There Yet?” into a series on TBS of the same name. In the film Nick (played by Ice Cube) is driving his girlfriend Suzanne’s (played by Nia Long) kids across country in an attempt to bond with them. The show picks up six months into Nick and Suzanne’s marriage as they attempt to adjust to their new life together.

“Anybody who’s dealing with a blended family, any man that has a girl that got kids can relate,” Ice Cube told TheUrbandaily.com. “We’re not going for the cheap over the top stuff that ain’t really based in reality.”

Ice Cube and Long’s roles are now played by Terry Crews (Everybody Hate’s Chris) and Essence Atkins (Half-And-Half) who, who along with their kids, are trying to adjust to new careers and an overbearing mother-in-law Marilyn played by Telma Hopkins.

“It’s a family trying to be the Huxtables but they ain’t there. They’re far from it,” says Cube who now plays Suzanne’s older brother Terrence on the show. “They’re dealing with iPad issues and stuff that’s modern.”

For example, in an up-coming episode an old video of Suzanne dancing becomes a viral video hit but not everyone is happy about it.

While laughs are definitely on the menu Cube feels there is a bigger message about family that he wants to convey as well.

“[This show] is very important for all the statistics of fathers not being in the home, [because] there still are those who are in the home,” he says. “It’s important to show that to the new generation. It’s not just a world of single mothers that stay single. Single mothers want love, too. Single mothers want to put a family together still, even if it didn’t work out with the first man. If at first you don’t succeed try again.”

If ratings for the show are up to snuff Cube says that TBS will pick it up for 90 episodes, just ten shy of the coveted 100 needed for syndication.

“We want everybody to check us out,” he says underlining the shows universal appeal. “Americans of all colors and creeds are dealing with this issue.”

As for TV, is there any chance that Cube’s other successful franchises like Friday will make their way into our living rooms?

“This ain’t gonna be the last one we do,” Cube says confidently. “We’ll do more niche kind of stuff in the future. We’re just getting our feet wet in the TV world.”

Catch “Are We There Yet?” Wednesday night on TBS. Check your local listings for time.

RELATED: Ice Cube Turns 41 & Celebrates 20 Year Anniversary Of Debut

RELATED: AUDIO: Ice Cube & The Roots “Straight Outta Compton”

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  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Oriedo/ Oriedo

    This is a good and funny article blog foreal.”Ice Cube”.

  • http://www.blackinfo.net/?p=1470 Black Info.Net » Blog Archive » Ice Cube: “Single Mothers Want Love, Too”

    [...] rest is here:  Ice Cube: “Single Mothers Want Love, Too” No Comments Read [...]

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/D0CZer0/ D0CZer0

    “I renounce Icecube!” lmao

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/rayskilla6/ rayskilla6

    This is cool, we need more positive roles and images

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/CaliFemme23/ CaliFemme23

    Mmmmm, I can dig the message, but won’t be watching the show…But good luck, hope it hits home….

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Cest_Ci_Bon/ Cest_Ci_Bon

    I hope his show has a good run. It won’t be on my DVR list but he’s paid a lot of dues as far as Hollywood is concerned. He deserves his run at the brass ring. :-)

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/stylemaker2020/ stylemaker2020

    I hope it projects a positive message without a lot of buffoonery.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Koolaid_281/ Koolaid_281

    what!! coming from ice cube nice! need more things like this

    but on a side note i dnt see how men can date or even marry a woman with kids

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/dabombstuff31/ dabombstuff31

    @Koolaid_281 Women with kids are still people. There are men with kids we could say the same thing about them, why marry some man who has kids. That’s ridiculous. Its a new day and age the majority of people have kids.That is just a young mentality way of thinking.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/rajarabbit/ rajarabbit

    Yeah its touchy subject. If you have kids then you cant really say that you dont want to date a woman with kids. If you dont have any kids than you have a valid point. It could work as long as there are no baby daddy drama and the kid listens.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Man_Of_Substance1984/ Man_Of_Substance1984

    @dabombstuff31-I understand where you’re coming from but (not that I’m defending Koolaid_281) the reality is, in most cases still mothers usually have NOTHING to bring on the table. I’m speaking of the young ones my age who have kids that are 5+ years old. Most young black single mothers are not motivated to accomplish something, work on their careers after motherhood. And adding to the fact that, most “baby daddies” (I have that word) in the black community don’t take responsibilities, so the young mothers are stuck doing everything by themselves…where/when are some of them gonna find time to go to school and get a college degree. Just speaking from experience–most single mothers I’ve met work petty jobs and aspired to be nowhere further than where they’re at now. Just saying…gotta have more than just…

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/classiegurl77/ classiegurl77

    looking forward to the show! sad that single women left holding the bag to raise kids from a prior relationship are looked down upon….that’s just pure stupid. slavery has left our society dysfunct after 145 years of fighting for the same familia opps as others across the globe…i digress, but hope that the positive messages and illustrations from this show trickle down to the hoods across america and continue to show ‘us’ that there are a multitude of ways to reach “the pursuit of life, liberty, and Happiness…Single with kids, widowed, or whateva…peace and blessings!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/smack_u_silly/ smack_u_silly

    classie, actually, there were fewer single black mothers in 1970 than there are now, so slavery aint got shyt to do with it.

    sad single mothers? they’re single in most cases BY CHOICE. whatever single mothers may ‘need’, many men who are about something and have no kids simply don’t want to deal with another man’s kid(s). and why should he, when he can meet an equally attractive woman/more attractive woman (inside and out) with NO kids?

    when i was single, i didnt give a damn how nice/great/etc. the woman was…if she had kids, i didnt give her the time of day. a couple i went out with two or three times and then they told me they had kids…i told ‘em “cya”.

    tough but that’s life.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Just-BLUE/ Just-BLUE

    who whats to be bothered with a single mother? they are single for a reason. The woman tried calling the shots to the babies father skip town because he didn’t want to be bothered with her dumb s**t.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Just-BLUE/ Just-BLUE

    who whats to be bothered with a single mother? they are single for a reason. The woman tried calling the shots to the babies father. but the baby’s father didn’t want to be bothered ith her dumb s**t.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/smack_u_silly/ smack_u_silly

    dabombstuff, you said:

    “@Koolaid_281 Women with kids are still people. There are men with kids we could say the same thing about them, why marry some man who has kids. That’s ridiculous. Its a new day and age the majority of people have kids.That is just a young mentality way of thinking.”

    yes, women with kids are still people, but so what? men that can CHOOSE will more often choose a woman without kids. another man’s kids are BAGGAGE that many men who were smart enough not to make any don’t want to deal with.

    this is like saying ‘men who are ex cons are people too’. yeah, but what decent woman wants to marry one?

    and yeah, you can say the same about men with kids. my wife said that, and added she wouldnt date a divorced man, with or without kids. she could CHOOSE and was able to choose me…a man never married and no kids.

    this ‘new day’ stuff, combined with ‘most people have kids’ is odd. most BLACK kids grow up in single family homes, but that’s not to say most black women are single.

    life’s tough…often we make decisions who’s consequences stay with us a lifetime. having kids out of wedlock is one of those things. the most desireable men TEND not to want to deal with what THEY SEE as YOUR mistake.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Just-BLUE/ Just-BLUE

    This show is just another way to endorse single parenting in the Black community which is f**ked up already. Children need both parents. Of course a woman can raise a child by herself but something is missing in that Childs life and they grow up to be mediocre at best.
    The majority of the Black men jail and those living below the poverty line were raised in a single parent home. Children need a Man around that is going to instill some values in their lives, so they won’t grow acting so b***hy, emotional and doubtful.
    Ice cube was all Gangsters and pro black when he made that record with Kalid Muhammad but Ice Cube knows is he wants to be accepted by main stream America he has to make a buffoon out of himself.
    The same way most black actors that want to be accepted by main stream America, then they have to put on a dress and act like a woman. Like Tyler Perry, Flip Wilson, Richard Pryor, Weasly Snipes, Martin Lawrence and Jamie Foxx.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/mike_diesel27/ mike_diesel27

    smack_u_silly hit it right on the button with that one. Yes, women with kids are people also but another man’s kids is almost extra baggage in a lot of cases. Most situations, the mother and father are not over each other. There will ALWAYS be a connection between the two.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/SexyMoneyMaker/ SexyMoneyMaker

    Terry Crews is all over the scene lately with his sexy self, as for the new sitcom best wishes, but seems like Ice and Nia should’ve reprised their roles that would’ve made it more interested. How you going to have a sitcom based off a movie without the main characters?? Get it together Hollywood ok.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/blackcherry_16/ blackcherry_16

    SMH @ SOME OF THE IGNORANCE…. First of all let me say that I have watch two episodes already and it’s alright but really not something that I will rush home to see lol….ok on that note everyone is entitled to their on…. I agree with @ dabombstuff31…. but @man_of_substance how old are you; reason I ask because you said that most black females that’s your age have 5 plus kids, and work petty jobs and aren’t motivated so on so on so on…. Ok lets set the record straight it’s not just young black females it’s other races as well that have this problems…So let me shine a lil light I am 24 yrs old, with a degree, I have a great job with benefits work only m-thursday 10hrs shift, I own my own house paid off only thing I pay is taxes no mortgage payments…. I own my car, plus I am studying for the LSAT…I am eventually going to law school next fall….and by the way I have a 5year old son….that I take care of, so please don’t say that “black females” can’t accomplished their goals….and I am doing this all by the Grace of God, and I am not bragging but I just hate it when people say that because you are a young single black female with a child that you can’t get a good career or finish school….MISSED ME WITH THAT ONE!!! As you can see I am very motivated… and for the mothers who work so called “petty” jobs I congratulate them a least they are trying to work and support their responsibilities and not trying to get on government assistance….and to the other dudes who say they don’t date women who have kids ok that’s kool to each it’s own I am not mad @ you… but that’s all I have….cus I have a good man who loves me and my son…..and just put a ring on it…. :)HAVE A BLESSED ONE

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/smack_u_silly/ smack_u_silly

    in my last statement, i meant to say ‘…most black kids grow up in single mother homes, but that doesnt mean most black women are single mothers.’

    just wanted to straighten that out.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/XxWarriorGoddessxX/ XxWarriorGoddessxX

    I can’t believe some of these comments bashing single mothers. My mom was a single mother of 2 kids (my older brothers) before she married my dad who had no kids. He accepted my brothers as his own, got married in 1978, both had me in 1981 and they remained happily married for 30 years until his death 2 years ago, weeks after my daughter was born. I’m a single mom and I have a man who accepts my daughter and I for almost 2 years now and I became a single mother when my ex-fiancé died in a car accident while I was 7 months pregnant with our child.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/geode07/ geode07

    Of all the single mothers out there,I am willing to bet that only 20% (maybe less) are single because of a man’s death or divorce. Everyday I see females (especially Black) making piss-poor choices that allow them to breed with knuckle-heads who have no direction other than the way to a weak woman’s v****a. Is it a wonder that women with a lifetime of poor choices remain on the bottom of the list of women in which any man who wants to find love? No man worth anything wants a woman who has nothing but baggage and bad decisions. Most cases the knuckle-heads remain close to the female only for the convenience of easy sex and ruining farther any chances of her finding a decent person. Besides,women with multiple kids and a history of multiple men have already proven they are good for only ONE thing. Just like Mexico …it’s a nice place to visit-but I wouldn’t want to stay there.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/smack_u_silly/ smack_u_silly

    warriorgoddess, its not BASHING, it’s voicing preference and opinion, and also making statements of fact.

    i’ve used the term ‘most’. any single mother her can say ‘i’ve got a good man with no kids’, but you’re the EXCEPTIONS. men that CAN CHOOSE (another term i’ve used), who have no kids TEND to PREFER women without kids.

    this is not to say ‘never date kids’, but when given the choice, more often than not they’ll go for the woman with NO KIDS>

    no matter what you personal accomplishments may be, men without kids TEND to prefer a woman without kids.

    this isn’t ‘bashing’, it’s fact. if you have a man that accepts you and your child, good. but you’re in the minority. that’s why 71% of black kids today grow up in single mother homes.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/kaikai7/ kaikai7

    Please STOP it with all the broad generalizations and stereotypes about single mothers! Single mothers are single for a rason, and sometimes it is NOT by choice but by circ**stances, and rather than abandon their children they choose to raise them to the best of their abilities. Why no mention of all the men who left these women to be single mothers doing it alone? Where are they? Are they active in their childrens life on a regular basis, paying child support, or out f^cking the next thing with a big butt and smile , so that they can repeat the vicious cycle. Why are woman with children any less deserving of a good man and healthy relationship? By the way I have no children and I am not married but I have several women in my family and circle of friemds who are, and they are doing alright. I don’t condone women popping out babies that the ycant afford every year for different men, but the situation is not the same for every single mother! There are alot of single women and men alike with children from previous relationships that are seeking genuine love and companionship. Whena woman dates aman with children from previous relationships I don’t hear alot of men complaining so whats the problem. It didnt work out with the childrens father, or perhaps he passed away, and she has chosento move on.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/choclt37man/ choclt37man

    The show is a perfect example of why it’s never a good idea to marry a single mother. Relationships are hard enough as it is. Parents often don’t agree on how to raise their OWN children so imagine trying to discipline someone elses. I have friends who married single mothers who are now split because mom wouldn’t discipline the kids and wouldn’t let them do it either.

    The biggest problem with single mothers is they refuse to admit what they did to drive baby’s daddy away. Most men don’t leave their kids; they leave their crazy baby’s mama. If a women won’t admit what she did wrong in her past relationships, she hasn’t changed.

    Then don’t forget the gold diggers who had the kid just to get a check. If they did it once, they’ll do it again.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/ladijgal/ ladijgal

    Love Mr. Krews, Ms. Atkins is cool but I wish we could get some fresh new faces on TV. Were there no other actors who could take on these roles? Also, can we PLEASE keep the show substantial and not full of idiotic one-liners, baby-mama (daddy) stupidity and the like. Look at some old Cosby Show reruns and try to make us look like regular relevant folks for a change. That’s my two cents & I’m rooting for you, Cube!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/classiegurl77/ classiegurl77

    KaiKai 7, i agree with you whole-heartly. blackcherry_16…u GO GURL!

    Smack_U_silly…if you’re a guy…u should smack urself!! Slavery influences the very essence of who we are in America (black or white) unfortunately, it was an ugly and hard time in our history, however the ramifications left as a result of slavery in the U.S. is very relevant today in 2010…when u get a chance…research Vicarious or Generational Trauma…infact research trauma a a body of work, it will help u understand a lil better where and why the disfucnt occurs, how it’s passed on from generation to generation and how trauma influcense culture. You’re right, you are entitled to your opinions! Jus my 2 cents again….

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/babiface34/ babiface34

    choclt37man

    You sound soooo ignorant. That’s all I have to say. There are plenty of successful blended families. Keep your negative opinions to yourself.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/mike_diesel27/ mike_diesel27

    Why do y’all keep going in on smack_u_silly?! He’s basically saying that another man’s children is a burden for SOME men. Damn! Why are y’all so defensive? Like he said, if you have a man that’s willing to take on that responsibilty, damn good for you! All of you have a certain type of man you would absolutely stay away from. And for SOME men, women with kids are the women that SOME men stay away from. No one is saying that single mothers don’t deserve a man. We’re just saying we do have a choice.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/smack_u_silly/ smack_u_silly

    classie, i AM a guy and i’m married. i see no reason to ‘smack myself’ because i chose not to date a single mother. there’s no logical reason for you to say that. only emotion.

    if slavery influenced the ridiculously high rate of single motherhood in the black community, WHY was it LOWER in 1970 (closer to slavery) than now? in 1970, it was 24% (versus 7% for white kids) and now its 71% (versus 24% for whites).

    sorry, bad decision making is NOT a function of slavery…individual fuccing up is.

    i dont believe in ‘generational trauma’ because it’s bullshyt that’s designed to get reparations for slavery. did you WITNESS slavery in the u.s.? did you EXPERIENCE it? if not, you don’t get reparations because you’ve suffered no trauma.

    amazing, my parents werent single parents/makers of single parents…nor were my grandparents. only ONE in my 1st and 2nd cousin circle or their grandparents (and that one pays up, keeps his two sons every summer and now will keep them permanently).

    my circle of friends is the same way. we’re all black, and no ‘generational dysfunction’.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/smack_u_silly/ smack_u_silly

    mike diesel, i understand that these sisters feel that they’re being attacked. but i always bring up:

    broke azzed men;

    ex cons;

    women that can choose and are desireable to the better men simply don’t make it a habit of dating/screwing/marrying ex cons and broke men. it DOES happen, but rarely. are these women wrong in SAYING they dont do broke men and ex cons? no.

    so why should we, who didnt date/don’t date single mothers any different?

    because people tend to be selfish and defensive…it’s okay for the single mothers to say they wont date an ex con,but its not okay for men who can choose to say we dont do single moms. it offends THE SINGLE MOMS.

    i understand that, but when i was dating i didn’t give a damn. they can be offended, but that didn’t change my mind one iota.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/smack_u_silly/ smack_u_silly

    kaikai, you said:

    “Why are woman with children any less deserving of a good man and healthy relationship?”

    it’s not a matter of ‘deserving’ or ‘not deserving’. it’s a matter of ‘reasonable expectation’ per the desired ‘target market’.

    i’m tall, masters degree, rumored to be handsome and witty, and ‘successful’. in short, i was always able to get the kind of women i wanted. i dated fit, pretty, smart, educated, gainfully employed, CHILDLESS, nice women. it was a REASONABLE EXPECTATION for me to expect a woman like that. i wasn’t DESERVING. i just expected, and KNEW, i could get what i wanted. and i married as such.

    if i were short and broke, or an ex con, i couldnt REASONABLY EXPECT to get the type of woman i described.

    the type of woman i described can REASONBLY expect to get the most desireable men. anything less than what i described, depending on what she’s lacking, has lower reasonable expectations (the DESIRE may be there, but not as reasonable an expectation).

    ” By the way I have no children and I am not married but I have several women in my family and circle of friemds who are, and they are doing alright.”

    again, nobody said single moms NEVER get ‘good men’.

    “There are alot of single women and men alike with children from previous relationships that are seeking genuine love and companionship. ”

    and there are a lot of single women and men alike with NO children, who are ‘as good’ as the people YOU just described that are seeking love and companionship. they just are more justified in having a REASONABLE EXPECTATION of getting a better mate.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/zacheryiola/ zacheryiola

    For smack_u_silly is not smack or silly,just a man that when his wife see the real man she has no out. If all man look as Mr. smack_u_silly then you will have your cake and you can eat it to.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/jazzylicious2006/ jazzylicious2006

    As a women that has one child I still don’t see anything wrong with men that have no kids only dating children-less women. Reason being because I once upon a time( before having my son) always said “I will never have a man that has kids or a kid“. I personally never wanted to deal with the drama from the baby mama’s or the sneaking around bs that most of them still do. Now, since I conceived my son (he’s 5 now) my views still remain the same. I however was in a 9 year relationship with my son’s father and was married 5 out of the 9 yrs and have been divorced for 3. I still at this moment do not have interest in men with kids. However my exceptions are men with children over the age of 18(adults). Yes, I like older men not really into under 40yr olds. And I know it doesn’t seem fair but hey those are my preference.

    Also I’m not one of those single mothers that’s looking for a “Baby Father”. Because my son has one (we have split custody). However, I am currently involved with a man that has 1 child that’s in college so we don’t have drama in our life. And neither does he because both my son father and I have moved on and have no reason to look back! It’s really based on the individual me personally if your child/children(depends lol) aren’t 18+ I can’t deal. So I personally do not date men with kids but I will date a man with a adult child/children! And if a man feels the same way about me then I have no problems or love lost with his decision. And right off the top I let anyone that I am involved with know that my son has a father and I’m not looking for anyone to take his place nor slack!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/soultry-soul/ soultry-soul

    With real grown folks…I feel the man has to feel out the woman’s parenting skills and relationship with her kid(s). No real man is going to deal with a single mother that has a teenager or adult child that he has to bear witness to the kid(s) disrespecting her.

    A real man is going to deal with a real woman that has set a solid foundation in her family structure with her kid(s).

    Women…stop being so lonely for a man and inviting Mookie, and Blunt smokin Pookie over around your kids. You all know someone like that…

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/onelady1978/ onelady1978

    wow all this hype over SINGLE BLACK MOTHERS..what about the sorry fools that left them in most..this is my story..u guys out there with yall messed up views…were yall raised in BLENDED families??? was ur mom the SINGLE BLAck MOTHER???is ur sister the SINGLE BLACK MOTHER??? i saw on dude page he had a pic of TUPAC>>WHOS mother was THE SINGLE BLACK MOTHER…smack u silly ENOUGH SAID lamo

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/jazzylicious2006/ jazzylicious2006

    biglj822003 no direspect my brother but do you think you could just list the verse numbers rather then the entire chapters word by word? Wow!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/awashi06/ awashi06

    Man some of you guys should keep post short especially any dealing with bible versus that just dont need to be posted, man anytime a subject is mentioned someone is bible thumping hard. anyways Ice cube good luck with your show, i hope its great success i try to catch a few episodes.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/geode07/ geode07

    No wonder some of ya’ll here are single! Can any woman imagine dating a wind-bag like that dude? I know he’s trying to make an impression,but dayum!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/blackdiamond184/ blackdiamond184

    The problem is a huge amount of single mothers messed up and had kids out of wedlock by some guy who never planned to be with her in the first place. Most guys including me don’t want to deal with some dead beat dad who is in the picture, Not when there are patient women out there who kept they’re legs closed for a man who will love them and stay.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/biglj822003/ biglj822003

    @/jazzy what i,m doing is trying to wake you all up before it too late. You just have no type of idea what is going to happen and the goverment is planning killing people and put you in camps. If you have a problem what i posted here then maybe you a stiffneck Israelite who really hate God without you knowing it.But i,m just doing my job by postin info out there before some of you die. That my job . peace

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/blackcherry_16/ blackcherry_16

    @classiegurl77 thank u girl

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/philly215/ philly215

    wow!..How can Ice Cube talk about a man getting with a woman with kids, when he married and had kids with his high school sweet heart?
    On the real, I wasn’t perfect but I worked hard to earn my Degree from college, get a good job that pays well and keep a great credit score. Why should I get with a woman who was stupid enough to get pregnant by an irresponsible man who doesn’t help her support his kid(s). I’ll never let a Player/Gamer get over and let me financialy raise his kids. I think a woman without kids, who’s made the right decisions in life deserves a chance a good man. I get women with kids who messed around with an a*****e, are in financial dept, and all of a sudden they want me to come and make their life easy. Nope! To all the good men out there, there are plenty of Women out there without kids who made the right decisions that deserve a good man and all he brings to the table. A lot of these women with kids only want to get with you cause you have a good job with good money and they’re trying to make up for their previous dumb decisions with PLAYERS/GAMERS/JAILBIRDS. I don’t know how many of these women said that their children already had a father and he didnt need another, then you get in a relationship with them and eventually they’re whispering “uh, lil Shakia need new clothes! Oh, IM short on money, Little Tyrone needs money for his little league uniform” HOLD UP! I THOUGHT HE HAD A FATHER! YOU SHOULDN’T EVEN BE MENTIONING THIS TO ME IF YOU ORIGINALLY STATED THAT YOUR CHILD DIDN’T NEED ANY FINANCIAL SUPPORT FROM ME.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/philly215/ philly215

    I’ve read post and it shows women are hypocrits. Women can say they want a man with his own house, car, stable job, this and that..BUT a man can’t have his own preference and say he won’t date a woman with kids. Everyone has preferences in the mate they choose, unfortunately we have a lot of women that are not smart enough to see their own hypocrisy.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Earl_S/ Earl_S

    @ philly215, I was wondering about that myself. Why is it cool for women to have a preference and not men. Everyone has their standards. I think it is good that men are actually being open and honest about this instead of saying nothing but doing what we all know they will do and if they are single with no kids avoid women with kids.

    Some don’t avoid women with kids but you have to understand whether it is a man with a kid or woman with a kid, it is a package deal.

    Relationships are tough and regardless of why a person is single with kids or not, everything must be evaluated when thinking should I date a person.

    If a man looks at a situation and determine it not to be what they are looking for just like if a woman does the same thing, does it man either one wrong.

    At the end of the day people will make moves that they feel are best for them and if it is a decision that offends someone because they fall in the short end of it then so be it.

    That is just like a woman or man saying that I will not date unattractive people and unattractive people are people too.

    It is just your decision and right or wrong, that is something you should be able to have.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/jetskibro/ jetskibro

    As usual, we have some obvious damaged and hurt black men and women commenting on a subject matter. When will this Willie Lynch Syndrome mentality stop in our communities. There are just some plain ignorant and even stupid posts on this board. Do you know how many incredible women who have changed the society for the better came from single mother homes or are single mothers themself? I believe classiegurl77 said it best with pointing to what slavery did to African/black families and continues to effect both our men and women today. Remember we had somewhere close to 300-400 years of dividing the family through slavery. Men, husbands were taking out the houses and only brought around to be baby makers to increase massa’s slave numbers. So women didn’t know what it was like to have a husband, men didn’t know what is was like to have wives and children didn’t know what it meant for daddy to be home. Welfare, keeps men out the homes and we continue to hurt ourselves. We are our own worst enemies. We perpetuate single parenting all throughout our black music, tv, movies, magazines, etc, etc. We’ll sex our sistas down, cause the so damn fine and beautiful, impregnate them, then they get left to raise the kids alone. I’m not talking about “hood rats” either. I’m talking about good sistas who we “men” do wrong. You can’t change the single parent problem until you change the thought processes of the people about family. We no longer have a sense of true “family” or family values anymore. Black women are exploited as B’s, H’s just to be eye candy and sexual pleasure. Black men are exploited as pimps, thugs and playa’s. Like my man Larry Fishburn screamed at the top of his lungs in School Daze “Wake Uppppppppppp!”

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/jetskibro/ jetskibro

    One other thing: A man does have the right to date women with or without children. It’s a preference no different then a woman saying she wants a tall, dark, handsome, etc, etc, man.

    I’m a single father with joint custody of my girls and have women say they wouldn’t date me cause of my children. I just keep it moving and know that’s just their choice and they have the right. There are sistas and brothas out there that know that children are special and bring significant value and love to a family. So I know what the sistas go through who have children. Everyone has a right to date who they want!

    Yet just cause a sista might be a single mother, does not mean she can’t have a good man. There are good men out there who love kids and don’t have a problem dating women with kids. Now if u got 5 kids and 5 baby daddy’s, u got some issues. LOL

    Yet sistas do need to understand that if a “real” man comes into your life and you have kids and it’s a serious relationship that leads to marriage. As long as he is not disrespecting or mentally or physically hurting your children, then as the man of the household, he has the right to discipline them. Now that discipline should be discussed and agreed on LONG before you get married.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/nativebootie187/ nativebootie187

    wow…i understand that everyone has their own preference but making stereotypical assumptions about ALL single mothers is takin it to the next level. For example,I’m a single mother of one and most of the time if im dating the guy dosen’t even SEE my son because im not trying to drag every tom,dick, and harry around my son.
    True i would like to get married and have more children with a good man but TRUST,my son and i r just fine dolo.
    I doubt if i’m the only single mother who has the same views and conducts herself in a responsible manner.
    Everyones situation is different.My sons father didn’t leave because he got tired of us,i kicked him to the curb instead of tolerating his abusive destructive behavior…he liked em young anyway after all I was 19 and nieve and although i made a mistake with him i couldn’t imagine my life without my son.nough said.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/SoularFlarez/ SoularFlarez

    Knowing Ice Cube, this may TASTE LIKE kool-aid but there’s some medicine in it

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/kellycministry/ kellycministry

    Yes, single mothers want love and respect too! Check out Kelly Chapman’s latest Essence blog called “Who’s the father” Very inspirational for single mothers!!!!

    http://blogs.essence.com/high_notes/2010/06/who-is-the-father.html

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/smack_u_silly/ smack_u_silly

    earl and philly:

    EXACTLY. that’s why i mentioned men with prison records and broke men; women that can choose (not bottom feeders) tend to stay away from such men. its their CHOICE and PREFERENCE.

    yet when men say ‘they prefer to date women without kids’, all of a sudden they’re wrong. it’s like fat chicks who ask for a man to be tall and slim to medium build getting pissy when men say they want a slender and fit woman. completely illogical.

    and after all their complaining, men that don’t want women with kids are STILL going to have their opinion; it SEEMS to me that their hope is not to change minds, but to silence dissent.

    won’t work.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/smack_u_silly/ smack_u_silly

    jetski, there are ‘damaged’ black men and women, but they’re damaged because of THEIR PERSONAL EXPERIENCES, not because of slavery. that’s an EXCUSE. PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, or lack thereof, is to blame.

    if slavery were an issue, then you’d see the embarrassingly high 71% of black kids in single mother homes stat HIGHER in 1970 than it is now. it wasn’t. in 1970, only 24% of black kids were raised in single mother homes. thus, slavery isn’t the affect.

    when will black folks stop blaming everyone but the fucc ups for the fucc ups position in life?

    and there was NO SUCH SPEECH as ‘willie lynch’, thus no such syndrome:

    http://www.manuampim.com/lynch_hoax1.html

    http://www.manuampim.com/lynch_hoax2.html

    additionally, few (if any) said that a single mother can never get a good man; why do folks keep misinterpreting what is said? i said that they have FEWER OPTIONS because men that can CHOOSE TEND to choose a woman without kids.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/smack_u_silly/ smack_u_silly

    nativebootie, again, you may be great; the next single mom may be BETTER; the next one may be a piece of shyt.

    thing is, when dating, people (men and women) make assumptions and stereotypes. it helps the process of dating along in most cases.

    i’m sure you have YOUR PREFERENCES that, when possible, you’ll excercise. perhaps ‘no prison record’ or ‘no high school drop out with no job prospects’ is your thing. why? because both are indications that he’ll not be able to put in his share, or that he’ll drain you of money. maybe that’s not the case…he may live off a trust fund for all we know. it’s possible. but you have to make a decision as quickly as possible.

    no different from a man looking at a single mother. when i was single, i looked at it as:

    1) she’s looking for a daddy for her kid(s);
    2) money from US will go for HER kid;

    is that fair? maybe / maybe not. but as i PREFER not to spend my hard earned money and time off taking care of another man’s kid, directly or indirectly, i have a right to make a snap decision and go with it. as long as i’m rewarded for my actions, i have no reason to change.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/AfricanSpeech/ AfricanSpeech

    “EXACTLY. that’s why i mentioned men with prison records and broke men; women that can choose (not bottom feeders) tend to stay away from such men. its their CHOICE and PREFERENCE.

    yet when men say ‘they prefer to date women without kids’, all of a sudden they’re wrong. it’s like fat chicks who ask for a man to be tall and slim to medium build getting pissy when men say they want a slender and fit woman. completely illogical.”

    smack_u_silly…

    I am having this calligraphed and framed on my wall… POINT!!!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/AfricanSpeech/ AfricanSpeech

    “smack_u_silly
    6-22-2010 11:34 pm

    dabombstuff, you said:

    “@Koolaid_281 Women with kids are still people. There are men with kids we could say the same thing about them, why marry some man who has kids. That’s ridiculous. Its a new day and age the majority of people have kids.That is just a young mentality way of thinking.”

    yes, women with kids are still people, but so what? men that can CHOOSE will more often choose a woman without kids. another man’s kids are BAGGAGE that many men who were smart enough not to make any don’t want to deal with.

    this is like saying ‘men who are ex cons are people too’. yeah, but what decent woman wants to marry one?

    and yeah, you can say the same about men with kids. my wife said that, and added she wouldnt date a divorced man, with or without kids. she could CHOOSE and was able to choose me…a man never married and no kids.

    this ‘new day’ stuff, combined with ‘most people have kids’ is odd. most BLACK kids grow up in single family homes, but that’s not to say most black women are single.

    life’s tough…often we make decisions who’s consequences stay with us a lifetime. having kids out of wedlock is one of those things. the most desireable men TEND not to want to deal with what THEY SEE as YOUR mistake.”

    DOUBLE POINT!!!!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/AfricanSpeech/ AfricanSpeech

    Would single black women with no kids date single fathers with kids?

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Charvon/ Charvon

    MAYBE ITS JUST ME BUT THE LITTLE GIRL HAS TOO MUCH WEAVE GOING ON

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/stylemaker2020/ stylemaker2020

    Come on sisters, do not take the comments to hard. I for one, have no issue dating or being involved with a single mother.

    I am not sure where the other findings come from either, regarding men with children. I have had no problem dating women with no children at all and i have 3 sons.

    I guess i just wasted my time writing, because no one really cares these days it seems. most single guys I know today are dating/involved with a woman that already has children/a child. Where are the factual statistics to brothers turning down single mothers?

    Please don’t tell me it’s an Urban Daily finding.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/pimpjuis2006/ pimpjuis2006

    It is strictly your preference if you choose not to date a woman with kids. I’m a single mother and definitely not offended by any of the comments against dating single women. It takes a special man to raise another man’s child. My father who is not my biological father decided to pick up where my biological father left off and I am so very grateful. I know tons of people on this earth who cherish the man that decided to raise them as their own. So regardless of how the child was conceived or what race the mother is or the statistics are; every child needs a mother and a father, biological or otherwise.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/cherronw/ cherronw

    I understand the message I definitely appreciate the gig it provides to black actors, but I can tell from the previews that it is lacking in dialogue. I don’t think the kids are that good at acting and Terry Crews and Essence Atkins (both good in their previous shows) seem out of tune.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/cherronw/ cherronw

    When I was younger I was opposed to dating someone with kids, but I don’t care these days. As long as you take care of your kids emotionally and financially. If you have a bunch a kids by different women, maybe not so much…

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/barrybonds79/ barrybonds79

    Problem is preferences having nothing to do with fairness. Preferences are only as good as your ability to attain them. They are individual by nature, not taking into account generalities unless they apply. Sorta like the marketplace, what one man can afford another may not. is it fair , maybe ,maybe not, but nonetheless its reality. Doesn’t matter what color, race, financial background or how many kids. Some ride into the sunset with their preferences while some go to the grave with their preferences. Its a game that hopefully as a individual, you can win. getting mad at others preferences is a waste of energy. Just try to achieve yours. :)

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/odoggz/ odoggz

    @cherronw
    I hear you, but I used to like women without kids, over women with them, due to wanting to avoid headaches. As I got older, I realized, it’s the damn reverse! The ones who already have kids never have this IMMEDIATE demand for me to make babies and rush along some preplanned schedule, unlike the ones without babies, who had serious mental issues and just had to run life on a rigid schedule, that obviously never ever comes out like they want. The problem with single mothers, today, is if you are a dude with no kids, these women don’t treat you any different from a bum ass dude who doesn’t nothing, just like the fathers of their kids. They don’t make you know that you’re praised for being around, when others wouldn’t stay, and don’t show you extra appreciation for taking on their baggage. It’s like they treat you like any other dude they have had, which is lame, and offer you no incentives to stay around. I think that’s why a lot of guys like want to avoid chicks with kids, on a serious level, and that’s why the single mom gets a bad rap.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/SenorCafeDa2nd/ SenorCafeDa2nd

    I have a child and for the most part I don’t date women with children. And I dont bring the women I date around my son.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/jazzwatch/ jazzwatch

    I’m old fashioned; I’m NOT married, ddin’t have any kids (never got ENOUGH nookie), but would LOVE to be with a woman without kids: I want conection, with her…..I cannot get that when I was with a women with several kids; they want me to do this and that, but whebn I want something, they cannot get it or give it to me (not just sex): I feel taken advantaged of when I go there, trying to convince tha lady I want to do everything for her AND the kids, or be labled in a NEAGATIVE light like many sister do…..I had past episodes that end up having me LOSE; many went around sleeping with their bio daddies or other guys; so the next time IF I do decide to go this route again, I expect reciprocation of love, communocation AND sex, just like if I was the REAL father, otherwise I will NOT go there……

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/blackandwhite1980/ blackandwhite1980

    i used to be a single mother and I agree with ice cube. There will always be somebody for you.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/pantherg08/ pantherg08

    I have read alot of comments on here so im going to be as honest with this as possible, I am a single parent with 1 kid that lives with her mom, i dont have problems getting with women with no kids, they dont hold it against me some of them are acutally excited about it. Maybe this is because my daughter is always with her mom, but then again she sits around and does nothing all day while i have to work and go to school! Ive dated single moms, and still do, but it is diffrent, when your dating a single mom, the kids more thean likely live with the mom, so u have to deal with them on a consistant basis, that can be a bad thing. When your dating a single mom and there kid gets out of line in front of u, what r u to do? Sometimes the single mom expects u to discipline thier kids, thats never a good thing! Another one is when u go out, alot of the time u have to bring the kids are hope that the women finds a babysitter, that can also cause problems. This is gonna sound f**ked up but dating a single mom has more consequences than when a single women dates a sinlgle dad, call it a double standard but thats the way it is! And im not bashing all single moms, but if i had a choice to marry a women with kids or without, my first choice would be with the women that had no kids! Women are more flexible with that issue, ive noticed that a women with no kids does not for the most part care if u have one as long as ur hadeling your buisness!!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/geode07/ geode07

    @ stylemaker. Don’t sweat it Bro. Black women are attracted to “niggas” and a sensible “Black Man” is considered a mark. …or lame. How else can you explain the rash of Black women having babies from “never-do-wells” and “broke down niggas”? All a Black man have to do is have a semblance of money,(anything over 50 dollars)good looks or shinny rims on a “country ass car” and females from 13 and up will be willing to join the “A.I.D.S.” or “have a baby you don’t want by a nigga you don’t know” lottery.
    Conversely,you can’t be like that dude @ SenorCafeDa2nd and make a statement like “I have a child and for the most part I don’t date women with children. And I dont bring the women I date around my son.” What is WRONG with dude? He can have a kid but no woman can’t? I thought I was a tight minded dick,but …sheesh. And just WHERE are he going to find a Black woman past the age of puberty WITHOUT children? Alaska? I don’t mind dating a woman with kids but the kid have to be cool. I ain’t dating anymore females with “Bebe Kids”,”thugs in training” or “aspiring potential pole-dancers”. Nigga gets tired of da bull-shyt,ya heard?

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/SassyliciousD/ SassyliciousD

    KUDOS to Ice Cube! I understand some men won’t date single mothers and some women just don’t wanted to deal with single fathers either. Most of the time people tend to forget not to get caught up on dates with the same person and bringing them home to their children. Single parents must never do that until they actually think they will be in a serious relationship together like get engage or marry.

    Lead by example and things may just change in the next ten years for the black families because every child deserve to have a mother and father even if one of them is step parent. For once it would be nice if some of the younger rappers spreading their seeds around with no care in the world actually take heed what Ice Cube, Will Smith and LL Cool J done, married the women in their lives. Will especially on his second marriage but he done an excellent job getting his ex-wife and current wife to get along especially for the children and they’re all one big happy family.

  • http://www.singleparentcenter.net/ single mothers help

    I think this is a great post for all the single mothers who need some source through which they can again live their life with full strength and confidence. I will share it with my friend who is a single of two kids.

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