This year’s Celebrity Big Brother initially looked like it might be more inane than a 27-hour long staring contest between Jade Goody and her reflection, but over the past few days it has shown itself by far the best in years. For me, there has been one shining beacon among the festering pile of bloated bores like Tina Malone: Coolio.

Already, the rapper has given a detailed rundown of every sexual encounter he has ever had or thought about having (including an explicit description of a threesome he had when he was 12), taken off his belt and thrust it back and forth between his legs like a randy uncle at a wedding as Mutya Buena performed one of her songs, thrown a hissy fit when he discovered Big Brother had failed to give the house any chicken or peanut butter and cackled like a deranged hyena when Michelle Heaton innocently remarked that Tina dressed up as Shakespeare’s Juliet resembled the princess from Shrek.

Lucy has said that Coolio has such an inflated opinion of himself that that he probably imagines that he’s Jay-Z.

Ulrika, Mutya, Tina and Lucy were sitting in the luxury bedroom discussing Coolio’s approach to women and his ‘gangsta’ credentials.

He probably thought when he came in here that us girls would go ‘he’s so hard’ and we just went…,” Ulrika said as she shrugged her shoulders.

Lucy noted that while he thinks he understands women, he has yet to appeal to the ladies in the house and seems to have a misjudged opinion of himself.

She said: “He always talks about girls, and yet he’s so far removed from being an attractive person. You know they say anorexics look in the mirror and see a fat person? Do you think he looks in the mirror and the reflection’s Jay-Z?”

Mutya also agreed, lamenting Coolio’s insistence on talking about his intimate personal life.

I don’t want to hear about someone’s sex life in detail.”

Ulrika did however note that Coolio “occasionally had moments of lucidity”.


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