Area 51, Phoenix , AZ – President Barack Obama was way ahead of his time when he initiated the now famous “fist bump” at a Democratic rally announcing his nomination in June of 2008. Insiders say the decision to bump was based on the countless hands President Obama shook that night prior to setting foot on stage and having run out of hand sanitizer hours before.
With the Swine Flu taking the country’s fears by storm, the President has urged Americans to initiate the fist bump as the safest measure against this outbreak for the time being.
Still recognized as a premier greeting through out the hoods and ‘inner cities within the United States, the bump became popular when President Obama greeted his wife, Michelle, at a rally in 2008.
California residents, known for incorporating the fist bump ‘into’ the pound are concerned that the sudden change in greeting will have an effect on their children, who at a young age are liable to be confused about their greeting identity.
Members of California’s Bloods, Crips as well as Mexican Gangs have reservations against the aforementioned technique and are lobbying against the direct fist bump.
Sport fans are being directly affected by the sudden change during one of the key sports seasons of the year.
Until the President deems it safe to greet or celebrate by clasping hands and the Swine Flu is firmly contaminated, Americans may have to resort to this simple, yet most effective way of avoiding the disease since the use of the word “Hello”.
-Dick Shittman
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