Besides fame and fortune, celebrities showed us 2011 was all about love. Not just finding and sustaining, but falling in and out of love, and all the sloppy behavior in between. Instead of doing a normal retrospect of urban celebrity romances, we’ve decided to hand out awards commemorating love in 2011. The nominees are…
The “We Don’t Believe You, You Need More People” Award
This award seeks to honor those whose relationship seemed more of a stunt than real.
Frankie Lons & Slick ‘Em (Pretty Ricky)
Olivia & Maino
Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries
Winner: Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries
From the jump, skeptical comments got tossed in their direction. Mr. and Mrs. Kim Kardashian’s reported $14 to $18 million dollars they made didn’t make the public believe in the union any further. The marriage ended 72 days later and E! cameras caught the crumbling marriage all on tape. That’s karma for that ass.
“Freak! She’s an animal. She took over Paris Hilton’s spot in being the big freak. Paris wouldn’t have done nothing like that [getting married]. We need Paris back. Kim is very predictable. She did a porno like Paris to get in the game, started hanging out with the celebrities and freakin them to get more notoriety. She don’t sing, she don’t act, she has to do something to stay relevant
The “Really?! More Non-News About You Again” Award
This trophy is for the most overexposed couple of the year.
Wiz Khalifa & Amber Rose
Beyonce & Jay-Z
T.I. & Tiny
Winner: Wiz Khalifa & Amber Rose
Amber Rose has seen her lady bits grace computer screens since the day Kanye West plucked her from strip club obscurity. Kanye made sure she was seen and not heard. When Rose snagged Wiz, she was allowed to speak and hasn’t stopped. Their working on her debut single, he’s working with Snoop, and she’s a judge on a DJing competition reality show. Every time they pop up somewhere we just wish they’d return to whichever medical marijuana plant they floated out of.
The “Ultimate Jump Off Come-Up” Award
This honor goes to the woman who started out as a basic side chick, but has made the come up to main chick.
Please someone explain to me how you get fame by going on a show to compete for the love of Flavor Flav and wind up married to Shaq with no prenuputial agreement. Sure, she scored a few coins from those calendars and modeling jobs, but Hoopz should be used as a how to guide or something. Rich men, beware. Hoopz has provided a blueprint for these thirsty potential jumpoffs. Hide your wife and your wallet.
The “Cry Me A River” Award
Here, we honor the couple with the most dramatic break up that played out in front of the world.
Emily B. & Fabolous
Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony
Joe Budden & Esther Baxter
Winner: Joe Budden & Esther Baxter
When these two were good, we liked them as a couple. All of that went out the window when she alleged he physically abused her leading to a miscarriage. Budden slandered her on social networking sites and she did the same in an incendiary interview with Bossip. So glad the drama is done with.
The “You Should Get Tested Before Things Go Any Further” Award
The recipient of this honor has been linked to more than a few people. The next conquest of these nominees might want them to get tested before engaging in any type of sex.
Rihanna was seen traveling around the world with a variety of different men. More often than not, a drink was within the vicinity also. Her wild antics has caused some judgmental viewers to label her a “drunk h*e.” I wonder if she’ll drink to that.
The “That’s Some Triflin’ S**t” Award
The people up for this award all did some ratchet mess which caused them to lose some fans.
Shaq marries Hoopz sans pre-nup
Chris Brown’s nude photo leak
Esther Baxter fetus photo
Winner: Esther Baxter
Hip-Hop America was horrified when they heard she lost her unborn child at the hands of Joe Budden. When he denied the situation, the ultrasound photo of the unborn baby hit the ‘net. Instead of telling the truth, Baxter claimed Bossip stole the picture and posted without her knowledge. That story worked for about two seconds. Bossip came out and stated they got the picture from Baxter’s own camp. That’s ratchet as hell!
The “They Go Together For Real?” Award
This awards is given to the couple that came out of left field.
Sean Kingston & Maliah Michele
Rick Ross & Elise Neal
Slick ‘Em & Frankie Lons
Winner: Rick Ross & Elise Neal
Yes, Slick ‘Em of Pretty Ricky fame dating Frankie Lons is definitely left of center. I choose to believe their relationship ended once the booze were gone. Ross dating Elise Neal is the winner because they actually dated and after they broke up, she was still concerned about him. Remember when he had his seizures? Neal was the first to blast his handlers for his hectic schedule which caused the health scare. The Ross-Neal connection gives hope to all fat black guys that they too can find a woman as bad as Elise Neal. So my delusions of grandeur concerning me and Janet Jackson becoming a real couple isn’t so far fetched? Good. I never thought so anyway.
The Couple of the Year Award
The title says it all.
Swizz Beatz & Alicia Keys
Jay-Z & Kanye West
T.I. & Tiny
Jay-Z & Beyonce
Winner: Jay-Z, Kanye West, and Beyonce
This is a trio instead of a couple. Sue me. These three have been seen together all over the world. Despite announcing her pregnancy, Beyonce has been spotted at almost every Watch The Throne show. In fact, these three have spent so much time together over the last 12 months, we wouldn’t be surprised if Kanye slept in between Bey and Jay in their bed like children often do.
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