It’s that time of year to break out the shorts and t-shirts. Memorial Day Weekend is supposed to be the time we remember and celebrate those we’ve lost. However, it has become the unofficial kickoff to the summer season. With that damn near everyone is heading to Miami to get down with the get down. But before you head down to South Beach acting all crazy, take a look at some of the DOs and DON’Ts of partying in Miami during Memorial Day Weekend. The Urban Daily has experienced their fair share of ratchet Memorial Day Weekends in Miami and we just want to look out for you. Don’t ever say we didn’t give you anything besides great content.
Know The Difference Between A Tranny And A Woman
You are probably looking at the computer screen like, “This fool is already starting mess!” I promise I’m just trying to look out for you. I mean really, it is Miami. That city is known for having some very convincing trannies walking around their sunny streets. Plus, you’re going to be drinking heavily, so cases of mistaken sexuality are sure to happen. Tip: If she has on a choker and a pair of gloves, she’s either a he or a serial killer. Neither one of those choices would be conducive to having a good time so avoid them.
Lock Your Door
When I started doing research for this piece, my co-worker said, “Make sure you tell them to lock their doors!” Apparently when she was down there, she woke up to a man in her room stealing some of her possessions. Although she went Mortal Kombat on dude, not every fight is evenly matched. You probably took a few karate classes when you were six and made it to yellow belt, but that’s no match to some crazy fool bold enough to walk in your spot and jack your stuff while you sleep. Keep the doors and your valuables locked air tight somewhere.
Travel With Friends Who Won’t Get On Your Nerves
There is nothing worse than being on a long ass flight with a complaining ass friend. Make sure you bring the members of your crew who know how to behave and hold their liquor. When partying for three days straight with no sleep, you want to have a squad of individuals that don’t need to be babysat if they have one too many shots of Patron. You know what they say, “One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor!” Try not to let it get to that point.
Wear Anything That Doesn’t Fit
You’ve spent countless hours in the gym trying to get your physical to be as fly as your mental, but you haven’t lost all the weight you wanted to. Do not put on clothes that you know you need to lose 20 more pounds to get in. You will be the most instagramed and twitpic’d image on the internet. You know you will be looking to steal a few snap shots of the community of ratchet looking folks sure to populate South Beach this weekend.
Land On WorldStar
WorldStar.com is the place to go to for all things ratchet and ignorant. Therefore, if you find yourself on WorldStar you have been classified as ratchet and ignorant. Those are two adjectives I prefer to stay far away from. So ladies, if there is a booty shaking contest and you strip naked and bust it wide open, you’re going to land on WorldStar in three seconds. You know things that land on that site have a tendency to go viral. I think I’ve said enough.
Get Tased, Bro
Miami Police is known for getting busy with the taser gun. Do not wind up like that dude on Youtube screaming, “Don’t tase me, bro!” Moreover, you are black and going to be in Florida. Lives of black people in Florida are disregarded like yesterday’s trash as evidenced by the Trayvon Martin case. You act a damn fool and will get tased and/or shot. Have fun, but keep it classy.
Anything we miss? If you have any other tips for your people heading down to Miami for Memorial Day Weekend, post them in the comments.
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