5 Other People Chris Brown Can Compare Himself To Besides Jesus

So after Chris Brown‘s run in with Frank Ocean over a parking space, he decided to take to his easel to get out his frustrations. It seems like a perfectly harmless and relaxing activity, but he came back with this painting.

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The painting’s not bad at all. (Check out those abs!) But when a celebrity sometimes goes through things, they like to say they are being crucified by the public and all that jazz. Is he comparing himself to Jesus in this? (Ahh, if only Jesus had some tats…)

We, of course, don’t think Chris Brown, or anyone else, should compare themselves to Jesus, but here are some people (and things) who we can compare to the singer.

Gumby

Not the fun-loving Gumby who used to twirl around when we were younger. We’re talking about Eddie Murphy’s Gumby from “Saturday Night Live.” He’s geared toward kids but MISERABLE and MEAN. Gumby on SNL never took responsibility for his actions, but always wanted people to recognize his talents. But when you listen to him, you really think, “Yo, you’re really f&%ing miserable, and you’re getting on my nerves!

Mr. Ed

What did you say, Chris? Ugghhh! Horses shouldn’t talk and neither should you. Just whine through your songs and dance, because that’s all we really want to see anyway. Shouldn’t Chris have a studio in his house by now or something? We know studios are public space and everything, but if one of your enemies frequents a place, why still go there? Just build a studio and stay in your stable.

Charlie Brown

People dangle and dangle the bait in front of that boy, and he takes it every single time. Don’t kick the ball, Chris! You can’t even play football! *smacks forehead*

Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

Light brown and crispy on the outside, and ooey-gooey on the inside. Remember THIS Chris? When he was sniveling and driveling at the 2010 BET Awards when he did his tribute to Michael Jackson?? Yea, he cried, but it was perfectly acceptable to us. He redeemed himself for about 2.5 seconds.

Crossfire

Remember this game? You just never know which Breezy you’re going to get. And if you’re not looking, you just might get hit. (Pun not intended. I’m serious! It wasn’t.)