His Sex Life
Kevin Durant is possibly the cleanest cut kid in the NBA. I believe that’s because he’s not having enough sex. Sex brings out the savage in a man, regardless of race or religion. If Jay could procure more ‘tang for the superstar, not only do I predict his image will advance, but he’ll probably be able to finally grow some actual facial hair. He may also contract a venereal disease too, but that neither here nor there. Maybe he’ll actually smeng the mom in the ESPN commercial rather than cleaning the gutters.

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