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“Cuffing Season” is vastly approaching. According to UrbanDictionary.com:

“During the Fall and Winter months, people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be “Cuffed” or tied down by a serious relationship.”

This is usually further complicated by the fact that men and woman have been walking around half-dressed all Summer, and by Fall, hormonal fluctuations are usually at a yearly high. If you do some research, you’ll find that lots of kids are born in the summer months, which lends scientific credibility to an actual season of hooking up. It’s more than just urban legend.

In order for “Cuffing Season” to occur, there must first be a time to choose and get chose by the potential partner. Fellas, that means presenting yourself in the best possible light to stand out and be noticed. While this may be easy for some men, others struggle and wind up settling for less. However, by taking the appropriate measures, you can end up with at least a 7.5 or better, instead of tolerating that 4 or 5 that no one else seems to want.

Do yourself a favor this year and upgrade your cuddling and canoodling by following these simple 5 steps and I promise you won’t be alone this Thanksgiving…

All Cologne Everything

By cologne, I don’t mean AXE body spray or Patchouli oil from the the hustleman at the local barbershop. I mean actual cologne, the type that the lady in Macy’s fragrance department is trying to spray on you as you walk past. Chicks seem to dig a dude who smells good. It gives the illusion that you’re clean, even if you aren’t. If a woman vocalizes that you smell good, you’ve won that battle. But the war is far from over. The greatest sense human’s have is the sense of smell, and it’s hard to deny a person whose odor is pleasant. Why do you think strippers spend so much money at Bath & Body Works? Because they know they quickest way to a man’s wallet is through his nostrils, that’s why. Never underestimate the power of smelling like you bathe regularly, especially in a world that reeks of despair and medical marijuana.

Wear Your Work Uniform To The Grocery Store

Nothing says “I’m worth your time” like buying groceries in your work clothes (wearing your work ID badge is a bonus, but not a necessity). Not only is it showing that you’re gainfully employed, but it also displays that you’ve got your sights set on better things than Mickey D’s or Pizza Hut. The more mature woman will see this as a sign of independence, and you can even sweeten the deal by asking her what type of ingredients you should use for your meal (never mind if you don’t really need her input; it gives her a chance to play to her motherly instincts). Now that the trap is baited, ask her if she’d like to come over and try your recipe. Warning: don’t cook spaghetti, because she may turn the tables on you.

Be Nice, But Not Creepy

Showing a woman that chivalry still exists is the quickest way to set you apart from the savages they deal with daily. Things like holding the door or picking up something they dropped will illustrate that you’re considerate and willing to go out of your way to make sure that they don’t have to. Holding the door could also become “creepy” and have them thinking you’re trying to see what she’s working with, but that’s a chance you should be willing to take. You could even try calling her “ma’am” if you get the chance, but this could backfire if she has an age complex or low self-esteem. Some woman are extremely independent and don’t want a man doing these things for her, but that’s an anomaly. If you find one of those who would rather fend for themselves, let her open her own doors and pay for her own lunch. Ride that ride ’till the wheels fall off, so to speak. Just don’t get caught up, word to Darnell Wright.

Compliment Ladies On The Little Things

Chicks spend all kinds of money on their hair, eyebrows, and nails for nothing more than a compliment. Sure, they say they do it to feel good, but, nah. They do it to look good as well. A man who notices the arch of a freshly threaded eyebrow or a new color compilation on the toes is a man who pays attention. Chicks love men who pay attention. It also shows that you’re not staring at her cleavage or studying the outline of her hind quarters (even though you really are). Ladies — whether they admit it or not — love attention, as long as it’s not the kind that makes them feel like a piece of meat during feeding time at the zoo. And with so many dudes uneducated on how to approach women, much less treat them correctly, this gives you the advantage on the field. It’s like the difference between playing softball with an aluminum bat while the others are using warped wood. No pun intended.

Act As If You’d Prefer To be “Friend Zone” (The Ultimate Camouflage)

Women are trained to see men as predators. And actually, truth be told, we are predators. Per the laws of nature we hunt and gather, and that includes lady-friends as well as sustenance and paychecks. It’s a means of survival and for what it’s worth, a dude can’t survive without a woman. Well, he can, but believe me, a life without a woman is a meek, lonely existence. Even if he’s just frequenting prostitutes during his lunch hour, a man needs a woman. Since they’re already expecting you to pounce like Tigger on Winnie The Pooh, chill. Don’t give them the impression that you’re on the prowl. See a nice looking lady at the bar? The best way to get her attention is to buy her a drink, tell her to enjoy her night, and walk away. In the same vein, never ask for her contact info, just give her yours. If/when you do give it to her (no pun intended), make it your phone number only. If you offer up your Twitter, FB, and Instagram account information, all she will see and hear is “the thirst.” The more you act like “The Friend Zone” is your intended target, the more her interest will pique. If that doesn’t work, she’s just not into you and it’s time to move on. Or is it?

These steps are only designed to help you achieve the ultimate goal of companionship during “Cuffing Season.” Keeping your partner afterward is another ball game altogether. But I will offer this tidbit of friendly advice: Valentine’s Day is near the tail end of Cuffing Season’s regular schedule, and Cupid puts in more work than you can imagine these days. It’s only cheaper to keep her if you wanted her in the first place.

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