The Hustleman

The upside to the hustleman is that he always has a few dollars to spare. The downside is that he always smells like Patchouli Oils and incense.

The Hustle man is known for turning nothing into something, but that’s not always a good thing. When you met him, he convinced you that he had the best quality bootleg movies in whatever city you lived in, slid you his card, and you brought into his madness. Now, every other day, he has a trunk full of stolen jeans or hijacked baby bottles and he won’t spend any quality time with you and your kids because he has to get off all his inventory. The Hustleman’s work ethic is admirable, but that means nothing when your cousins call you and complain about how their copy of Madea’s latest movie looks like it was captured on a Blackberry or that the knock-off perfume he sold her for $3 gave her a rash on her boobs. And when it comes time to buy gifts for people, he starts handing out too big t-shirts and socks, no matter the person or the occasion.

Your biggest fight in this situation is with yourself, trying not to believe that you, too, were hustled.

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