Catching up on “Basketball Wives: LA” because clearly I have nothing better to do with my life, and I’m on the episode where Jackie brings her daughter, Chantel, to confront Draya. (Have you seen that episode? If not, kudos to you, because you’ve found amazing things to do with your time. But looking at the interactions between the three, if I didn’t think Jackie wasn’t crazy already, I most certainly do now.
In the world of these ratchet reality shows, it’s the cast members’ mothers that cause a lot of the drama, and it’s been happening ever since VH1 took a turn for the worse with “Flavor of Love.”
Let’s take a look at all of the ratchet reality TV moms who make us wish that we will never ever ever have to deal with anyone like them in our own reality.
Sister Patterson: The Master Manipulator
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Sister Patterson was the OG in crazy TV moms. She burst on the scene with “Flavor of Love” as New York’s (real name Tiffany Pollard) mom. Not sure which was more strange, the fact that she was around the same age as the man her daughter was “in love” with, or the fact that she really did look like a Klingon from “Star Trek.”
She was obnoxious and mean, just like her evil ass daughter, and she didn’t stop at anything to make sure that New York wouldn’t end up with the clock master.
She gave her input on her daughter’s series to find love, “I Love New York,” and the crazy never ceased. Her volume was never lower than a yell, and she wanted to make sure her points were heard loud and clear. And did you forget her bizarro moment when she got up on the pulpit at church?
9 out of 10 crazies
Frankie: The Wildcard
Okay, so Frankie Lons, Keyshia Cole’s mother, had her own set of problems. She was in prison for drug related charges by the time the BET show, “Keyshia Cole: The Way It Is” started, but once she got out, she became known for her antics and drama.
The problems she brought to the show didn’t have anything to do like most of the moms, meaning her not liking Keyshia or her sister Neffe’s boyfriends. She had her own demons to fight. But that didn’t stop her from creating catch phrases like “holla,” “code 10” or even her own dance with the Frankie leg.
Sure she cried a lot — more like all the time — and was jealous of the love Keyshia had for her adopted mom, but her heart was in the right place.
5 out of 10 crazies
Mama Jones: The Bully
Maybe it was the slither in her voice that made her so sinister, but Mama Jones, Jim Jones’ mother on “Love & Hip Hop,” showed that she wasn’t one to be messed with. She tried to break up Jim and Chrissy any chance she got. She even went to such lengths as to write a song about Chrissy and how much she hated her. (She later reneged, and said she never meant to hurt Chrissy. Okay, lady.) Listen, you write a song about how I’m a b-tch, and we’re beefin’.
7 out of 10 crazies
Jackie: The Instigator
Jackie, Jackie, Jackie. She has to be one of the greatest instigators in all of TV land. It’s bad enough that she is 43 (reportedly) and wants acceptance from 20-somethings. I’m sorry, but I’m not hanging around with auntie like she is my only friend in the world. No, ma’am.
This is how you should be with your mom’s friends who want so desperately to be friends with you…
But anyway, Jackie started problems with just about everyone on “Basketball Wives: LA,” only to look surprised and shocked when they called her out on it. And when she was called out, she loved to turn everything around on her sad life and would cry to become the victim. That’s the worst kind of crazy.
The worst of it was from the third season when Draya said under her breath to Sundy, “Get ya ratchet a– on,” here goes Jackie as loud as she wanted to be, “She [Sundy] ain’t ratchet. Draya said, ‘Get your ratchet a– in the kitchen,’ but she didn’t mean it!” Jackie, girl. You cute.
And let’s mention the issue she had with her daughter, Chantel, and Draya fighting over the same man. Mom, never bring the other woman and current girlfriend together. Especially if the other woman was never really the other woman! [sigh]
9 out of 10 crazies
Mama Joyce: The Sheriff
What can we say about Mama Joyce that hasn’t been said enough already. She’s never liked any of Kandi’s boyfriends. We saw how much she hated AJ when Kandi first started on “Real Housewives of Atlanta,” and that didn’t change much from when she got with Todd.
But to go as far as to hire someone to set up Todd was the lowest of blows, and we saw just how far Mama Joyce would go to have Kandi all to herself. Not to mention fighting her daughter’s friend off a rumor was just downright weird!
9 out of 10 crazies
Momma Dee: The Pimp
We’re not just calling Momma Dee from “Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta” a pimp because she used to be one, but she has successfully attempted to pimp out other women for Scrappy. It’s unbelievable! Okay, she didn’t like his ex-fiancee, Erica Dixon. But to call other girls to try and swoop in on their relationship — we’re looking at you, Shay — is too much. She really thinks she is living in a real life New Jack City fairy tale. [shakes head]
Her relationship with Scrappy is an Oedipal one. It’s like she wants Scrappy to be her boyfriend, not her son. But that’s a whole other story…
10 out of 10 crazies
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