Hey folks, Fathers Day is coming. That one magical day in the year where, single women claim both, daddy issues and social sites collide and somewhere in America a husband gets another tie while good/single dads are treated like Bigfoot.
While it’s true, there are plenty of dads that aren’t exactly Cliff Huxtable in these streets, we here at TheUrbanDaily know and understand that real dads, the ones who make moves for the betterment of their families daily, are basically the victims of bad PR. The bad dads get all the press while the good ones go unnoticed and the reality lives somewhere right in the middle.
So we’ve decided to throw some light on a few the Hip-Hop dads of the world and let you guys be the judge. Here’s a quick list of what some of the kids of some rap notables can either brag about or have to explain to a therapist. There are some good, bad and ugly moments, sure. But anything beats the one-size-fits-all shoes dads have been forced to rock every Daddy’s Day. Check it.
1) 50 Cent
Pros: In one show, he pulled both off a robbery AND a reunion. So if you’re watching daddy Fif, you’ve learned how to multi-task. He definitely taught you how to be the bigger man by squashing beef with Nas, Young Buck, Lloyd Banks and Tony Yayo. Ya gotta love that. And he’s got a show on television, a new album in stores and a new spot in Hip-Hop relevancy. So there’s a lesson in persistence for ya.
Cons: He didn’t make it to your graduation. Granted, all sides admit Fif wasn’t invited or informed on the date… but yeah, definitely a loss. And don’t ask him to teach you to play catch. Just… don’t.
Pros: Successful transition from a multiplatinum rapper flying around on his private jet, to a successful actor and member of a blockbuster “Fast And Furious” franchise… still flying around on his private jet. Good lesson on how to make money and keep it.
Cons: Welp… he did make you the on-a-break baby. And he did try to slim the child support down a little. But that’s another chapter in that first lesson on how not too go broke. It’s a little hard to think you’re gonna starve either way.
3) Jay Z
Pros: You know that expression “Your daddy’s rich and your mama’s good looking”? Well for you Blue Ivy, your daddy’s rich and your mama’s good looking… and rich too. Dad runs the rap world, is one of the most influential men on the planet, has presidents on speed dial and has given you plenty of brothers by consistently sonning other artists. Your future’s set.
Cons: Ok, back in 2014, your dad got into it with your aunt in an elevator while your mom was, uh… meditating. It’s gonna look a little scary, but keep in mind your dad never swung back. So remember that lesson–men don’t hit women. Especially when they’re real men like your dad. Just get tested to make sure you don’t have your aunt’s crazy gene. The way people have been going on about your hair you’ll probably slap somebody on GP.
4) Dr Dre
Pros: Daddy Dre successfully became the first Hip-Hop billionaire, beating out Jay-Z and Sean “Puff Daddy” Combs and every other big money talker in the game. Job well done indeed.
Cons: See, there was this album called Detox he was supposed to do… well, ask him about it. On second thought, don’t even say the word around him.
5) Sean Diddy Combs
Pros: After many, many years of being the biggest name on networks like MTV and BET, Sean Combs decided they weren’t doing a good job with videos. So daddy Diddy decided to start his own network and named it Revolt. Kinda cool when all your friends are watching the network your dad started huh?
Well your dad is also the guy responsible for allowing Rick Ross to remake classic tracks of Notorious B.I.G. And then… well your friends may actually want to watch the network. And if they do, they’re gonna want answers. Answers you’re gonna have to give. Sorry. You’ll learn to be tough though.
6) Wiz Kalifah
Pros: Watching your father is going to teach you how to be the most mellow and laid back person on the face of the Earth. The amount of THC passed into your system via his DNA means you don’t know what sadness feels like. He also managed to take the first in-jail selfie in history.
Cons: Well when he took that selfie? Yeah, he was IN jail… for the 20th time. And all that THC in your system means you will never get a “regular” job so we hope you can rap, too.
7) Lil Wayne
Pros: Successfully made Drake and Nicki Minaj biggest names in the game and is a first ballot hall of famer. Hands down.
Cons: Being a black man, your dad decided that he would ride for Justin Bieber after he sang about being in the KKK and dropping N-bombs on camera. Basically sticking up for a guy who disrespected you AND him. Nobody wants a coon for a dad.
Pros: Your dad was so into defending his family, he actually stood up and took on an undefeated professional boxer named Floyd Mayweather in the middle a restaurant.
Cons: Your father was only a few security guards away from getting himself washed, pressed and folded by said undefeated professional boxer. And still would have had to go home with his wife after. You’ve gotta have better judgment than this.
9) Kanye West
Pros: Your dad has always wanted to marry your mom and loved her so much that even though she showed up with a bad reputation and questionable taste in men, he waited until she was ready.
Cons: He named you North West. And made Yeezus. Both poor choices you’re prolly gonna have to deal with. Send him the bill for the therapy.
10) Dame Dash
Pros: Along with launching the career of Jay Z, one of the greatest MC’s to ever live, your father has proved himself a warrior and heavy handed advocate for the culture of Hip-Hop.
Cons: Your dad doesn’t know the meaning of the word “tact.” Learn how to fight…quick.
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