In her mind, Leigh Anne Tuohy, aka “The Blind Side woman,” thought she did a very good thing when she took to Facebook to share a photo of herself with two Black teenagers who were otherwise minding their business before she interfered in their affairs. Yes, ultimately Tuohy proved herself to be generous, but in telling the full story exposed herself to be not as evolved as she thinks she is.
In her Facebook post, Tuohy writes:
We see what we want! It’s the gospel truth! These two were literally huddled over in a corner table nose to nose and the person with me said “I bet they are up to no good” well you know me… I walked over, told them to scoot over. After 10 seconds of dead silence I said so whats happening at this table? I get nothing.. I then explained it was my store and they should spill it… They showed me their phones and they were texting friends trying to scrape up $3.00 each for the high school basketball game! Well they left with smiles, money for popcorn and bus fare. We gave to STOP judging people and assuming and pigeon holing people! Don’t judge a book by its cover or however you’d like to express the sentiment! Accept others and stoping seeing what you want to see!!! #LeighAnnesSundaySermon #BelieveInOthers
Oh, beloved. Let me help you navigate through your white savior complex long enough to see where you went wrong here. For starters, your friend was engaging in casual racism. You are even guiltier by not only not reprimanding that person, but also for actually venturing over to their table in order to interrogate them. If you thought your friend was wrong to “judge a book by it’s cover,” why give her racist views cover by going to investigate?
You are not a police officer. You are not Olivia Pope. You are not Velma from Scooby Doo and the Mystery Machine. Who are you to walk up to complete strangers and compel them to tell you what’s happening in their lives?
Tuohy acted not only in hubris, but in privilege i.e. informing them that they sat in her establishment, and thus, had no choice but to do as she says. Never mind that they were customers, or more importantly, free, and under no obligation to say anything to her besides, “SEAT TAKEN!”
I’m glad that thanks to Tuohy, these kids left with “smiles, money for popcorn and bus fare.” She is correct in that we do have to stop judging people and assuming the worst of others. Especially if these others are young, Black, and male. However, we must also understand that our suspicions do not permit us to behave in ways that are domineering.
Likewise, Tuohy also reminds us that sometimes it’s best to perform what we think it is a good act without announcing it to the world. In doing so, we often make that gesture about the individual giving as opposed to the act and who it intends to benefit. All that does is highlight that perhaps one isn’t as pure-hearted as their status update purports them to be.
Michael Arceneaux hails from Houston, lives in Harlem, and praises Beyoncé’s name wherever he goes. Follow him @youngsinick.
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