I’ll be honest and say that 2009 was a disappointment and sitting down to compile 20 different lists of mediocrity was just not my idea of fun. Any year that took away Michael Jackson and DJ Roc Raida gets the gas face. So in the spirit of time management and short attention spans I present the first ever 2009 “Urbie Awards.” If you loved it or hated it in 2009, it’s probably here.

Best New Online Series, Ed Lover’s “C’mon Son”

Best Awards Show Kiss: Jamie Foxx & Halle Berry At Spike TV Awards

Worst Awards Show Kiss: Toni Braxton and Trey Songz At BET Awards

Best Black Movie Black People Didn’t See, Black Dynamite

Best White Movie Black People Should see, The Hangover

Best White TV Show Black People should see, Californication/Trueblood (Tie)

The “Amilli” Award For Most Rapped Over Beat: Snoop Dogg’s “I Wanna Rock”

Best New Trend: Celebrities Tweeting

Worst New Trend: Celebrities…Tweeting

Guiltiest TV Pleasure: Real Housewives Of Atlanta

Most Racist Movie Moment: Transformers Revenge Of The Fallen, The Twins

Best Moment For Black Love: Barack and Michelle Obama at the Inauguration

Worst Moment For Black Love: Nas and Kelis Divorcing

Best New Artist: Diggy Simmons

Best Sex Scandal: Rihanna’s Nude Cellphone pics

Worst Sex Scandal: Rumor That Nicki Minaj slept Remy Ma

Most Surprising Sex Scandal: Tiger Woods And his Dirty Dozen

Least Surprising Sex Scandal: Lil Wayne And His Baby Mommas

Comedian of the YearAffion Crockett

Best Comeback Album, Raekwon’s Only Built For Cuban Linx 2

Most Disappointing Comeback Album, Rakim, The Seventh Seal (If you disagree show me the receipt for your purchase. If you did’t buy it, be quiet!)

Best Kanye Moment: Cleaning Out his closet for Charity

Worst Kanye Moment: Jacking the mic from Taylor Swift At the VMAs

The Nobody Buys Albums Anymore Award: “You’re A Jerk” By The New Boyz (728,000 digital single downloads, 24 Million views on Youtube. The album? 32,000 copies sold)

Story That Wouldn’t Die: Chris Brown & Rihanna

Story We’d Like To See More Of: Freeway And Loon Making Pilgrimage To Mecca

Lie Of The Year: Roxanne Shante Not Having a Phd.

Beef Of The Year: 50 Cent Vs. Rick Ross

The Uncooked Beef Of The Year: 50 Cent and Beanie Sigel vs. Jay-Z

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