Is There Someone Out There For Me?

Hi TBM,

I am a 40-year-old African-American woman and that is very lonely. I want a companion to love me for me, to hold me when I need to be held, an ear to listen when I need someone to talk to. I want someone to do things with me like traveling, movies, dining out walks in the park etc. Also I want someone to make love to me instead of me masturbating.

I can’t seem to meet anyone. I’ve  tried online dating, blind dates, going out alone to bars, clubs, the vibe phone chat line, at work,  going to single meet up groups (no one approaches me) etc. It never works out.

Either the guy no longer is interested when I do meet someone or the blind date does not like me. I have even done one-night stands. I’m tall; slim, with very small breasts, not a big butt, but kind of pretty in the face. These days I see men looking at curvaceous women. I don’t know what to do. I feel like no one wants me. I just want your advice. Thank you.

From Anonymous.

The Black Man:

Hi Anonymous,

It sounds like you need a little bit of a confidence booster. You have to feel good about yourself if you want someone to feel good about you.

This confidence does not just have to stem from dating someone. It can be other things such as accomplishing personal goals, treating yourself to things you like, being inspired and inspiring others. Feel good and you radiate that energy around you.

Also, go out with a group of people sometimes instead of just by yourself to go meet men. If you don’t have friends that go out then join some groups that involve some hobbies that you like. Become active in some good organizations.

There is someone out there for you. All men don’t just like big breasts and big asses so you can remove that from your mind. The last time I looked most of the people that are on the big screen and in runways don’t have large bosoms and butts.

They key is to have confidence and be clear on exactly what you want. Be patient and it will come to you. You truly have to be open and ready for what you ask for.

I hope this helps.

TBM