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Producer-ternt-Autotune offender Ron Browz enlists the help of fellow Harlemites Jim Jones and Juelz Santana to “Pop Champagne” and get the lite feet going.

Damn, homie. I thought Fantasia Barrino would have made enough money from The Color Purple whereas she’d never have to dance in anyone’s video again. I guess Harpo doesn’t pay as well as a nigga would think.

“Jimmy… *lip quivering* Jimmy BEAT me. But I ain’t gon’ let him pour no mo’ Cristal on me.”

Speaking of pouring champagne on inappropriate targets, what the hell is up with this bartender chick? Is she fuckin retarded? Why is she still pouring the champange into Ron Browz’s glass? Any hoodrat should know that fake Roleys ain’t cognac-resistant. That’s in the handbook. Page 79 of Hoodrat’s Guide to the Universe expresses this clearly.

A better set of questions includes, “Why the fuck doesn’t Ron Browz stop her from pouring all over his rented shit?” Maybe his hand is still numb from that “stranger” he gave himself after every “model” at the shoot turned him down thinking he was Memphis Bleek.

Sigh. Between this and “Aye-rab Money” I’m ashamed to be a Ron from Harlem.

Despite the massive amount of shit I’ve given them over the years, it’s nice to see some Diplomatic [Imm]Unity. Looks like somebody left Cam’ron off the e-vite, though. That’s pretty fucked up. You know shit is bad when Jimmy and Juelz invite Zeke and “forget” to CC: Killa.

Speaking of the dipshits–for a group of grown-ass niggas that put “no homo” at the end of everything, they sure looked content skeeting frothy champagne all over one another without having won no championship or nothin. Unless Jimmy finally won the Shit Without Shower national title, this could be misconstrued as “suspect” behavior.

–As in, “No homo, dick. Ummm. No homo.”

If there’s anything positive to take away from having watched this direct result of recession-related unemployment, it’s that Busta Rhymes has been spotted somewhere other than Dallas BBQ. Someone really should introduce him to the lite feet dance. If he’s gonna go on the N.O.R.E. diet he might as well burn calories while gettin twisted off shit us writers can’t pronounce.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Bust your ass in a Cristal Moet puddle?

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