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Dear Black Man,

I started seeing this man. Everything was perfect. We talked on the phone for hours and he told all his family and friends about me almost off the bat. I did the same. On Valentines Day he proposed to me. This was a long distance relationship. I live in Texas and he lives in South Carolina. He would visit me on his days off, because he worked for Delta Airlines and was able to fly for free. After he proposed to me he went back home. The next week he disappeared and I wouldn’t hear from him for days. He then would call me and tell me he needed time to “think about things”. This disappearing act occurred 5 times. I have broke up with him three times. Right now we are still broken up and it’s been two weeks since I heard from him since he disappeared again. What is going on? I love this man very much and he seemed to love me as well. He was always talking to me about having a baby and talking about me moving to South Carolina in the summer time. Then in the fall we were talking about moving to California. I really don’t get what is going on. Should I just move on? Or should I try and get in contact with him?

-Helpless

The Black Man:

Hi Helpless,

It sounds like you guys jumped into this too soon. He may have feelings for you but it is clear that he is not ready to make that move. There is more to a relationship than just giving someone a ring. If he can’t be consistently around then you need to take some space from him. I would suggest not reaching out to him.

Leave it be. I am not sure how long you have been dating but it does not seem that long from the way you have explained the situation. Emotions may have gotten the best of him. I would not chase him to stay in contact with him. Reaching out to him will mostly likely only cause more drama and heartache for you. As they say “Actions Speak Louder Than Words”. His actions are not matching up to his words. If you guys can’t communicate there is a slim chance that you could have a fruitful relationship. Leave it alone and move forward.

Good Luck

TBM

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