Smallville, KY– Controversial rapper, Eminem, has set off waves throughout the superhero world with the release his new album, Recovery.
On the song entitled “Cold Wind Blows”, Eminem takes a shot at the resident King of Atlantis by suggesting “I’ll be nicer to woman/When Aquaman drowns…”. The line is of one of many referenced directly at superheroes ranging from Spider Man, Ghost Rider to Bruce Banner on the Recovery album.
“He needs to keep my name out of his mouth” says Aquaman from his home in Atlantis. “It’s easy saying what he said up there” says Aqua from his throne 10,000 feet beneath the Atlantic Ocean. “But try that s**t down here.”
News of the dis came as Aquaman is in the midst of dealing with the oil spill crises in the Gulf of Mexico. The half man/half amphibian member of the Justice League goes further suggesting he would not refrain from using his powers on Eminem if they were to run into each other. “I’d likely smack the s**t out him with my hand, if I had one.” says Aqua in reference to his missing left hand which some say is made of water and possess mystical abilities.
The barbs are the latest in series of headaches for the 40-something year old member of the Justice League. The recent BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico as well a pending divorce have found Aquaman going through a rough patch that has many questioning his ability to perform his duties as reigning king of the 7 seas.
“I avoid dealing with you humans as much as possible in hopes that you let me and my people live in peace, but this is disrespectful.”
Aquaman (Real name: Arthur Curry), who’s powers include telepathy, a healing factor, enhanced senses, super strength and extreme durability says he has other things to worry about other than Eminem.
“I’ve got living room filled with petroleum oil and couple of sick dolphins in the infirmary. My wife wants half my kingdom and those geniuses at BP have no idea what the ***k they’re doing. I don’t need this right now.”
A reputed comic book collector, Eminem was once rumored to be under consideration for Teen Titans initiative, but failed to pass the necessary requirements needed for government approval, which included a sobriety test. Those in the know feel his attacks on known superheroes is a bitter reaction to his past attempts at becoming a superhero, which includes a brief forays as Robin and Superman.
“My son listens to this rap stuff says AquaMan. “I don’t need him to get any ideas off some druggy rapper with a checkered past.”
Also referenced on the song is Johnny Storm of the Fantastic Four, who seems less apprehensive regarding his mention on Recovery.
“I mean, it’s Eminem dude. What do you expect? It’s nothing to lose your chill over. I mean, the fact he mentioned me is awesome. I think Aq’ is overreacting if you ask me.”
“No one asked him, or cares what he has to say.” says Aqua in response to Storm’s comments. “Torch needs to worry about his s****y movies and keeping his family together before he can comment on my well being.”
“Hot headed as Ghost Rider, cold hearted as Spider-Man throwin’ a spider in the snow.” – “On Fire” ; Eminem
Hood Newz attempts to reach the aforementioned heroes were met with no comment by their respective camps.
Recovery is in stores June 22 and is available on ITunes now.
Here’s to hoping Aqua doesn’t end up here:
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