Sex sells, we get that– but can you sing, dance, run, jump or do anything worth a second look?
Video Model Of The Century
The music industry has brained washed me into calling Melyssa Ford a video model/vixen (back in the day they were called video h**s). The woman of your fantasy used as a prop for rappers to pour liquor and cash on, the females they used to show how their life is more glorious than yours. Melyssa Ford can be spotted at a few ceremonies as the guest speaker (yeah, the guest speaker). She isn’t talking about sex or music either! If you can’t find her there then you can find her doing interviews like this:
Where do we start–no where! Paris has done absolutely nothing worthy of talking about, except for strain our eyes in a night vision porno. Her unsuccessful search for a best friend wasn’t entertaining. Watching her work on a farm was disturbing and alarming (cue PETA). That’s Hot” wasn’t even that hot. All in all Paris is lucky she has a super-rich family.
Young Money groupie, “personal assistant” Kat Stacks has the Internet going nuts (pun intended)! How did this little darling rise to fame you wonder? The same way Superhead did–giving super head. Well, we don’t know if it’s super cause no one wants to admit to having sex with her or admit to receiving fellatio either (except Chopper). She made her infamous debut in a self-shot video where she swore more than 2 Pac in “Hit Em’ Up,” and shut down some circuit wires for circulating our favorite rap artists phone numbers. At first she was the mockery of humorous jokes about lengthy bangs and an a Alvin And The Chipmunk like voice but her fame quickly heightened when she was slapped and dragged at a bar by Fab’s homie. The beatings and harassment only continued from there. She remains the topic of discussion…
The Reinvention Queen
Beautiful, curvaceous, and exotic– too bad if Ray-J didn’t pipe her down on camera, we wouldn’t have known. Ray-J would have made this list but wait, he has talent– he can sing, but Kimmy what exactly do you do? No, taking pictures doesn’t count. No, owning your clothing store Dash doesn’t count–you don’t make any of the clothes. No, “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” doesn’t showcase your acting abilities. Sad thing about this case is that you created 2 other no-talent celebs- Khloe and Kourtney. Not to fret though, whatever it is that she does, she does it well because Kimmy reinvented herself and was once dating one of the most sought after black men in the world–Reggie Bush. Where most would still be tainted and haunted by a leaked porno, Kim has made a career out of it– sex free!
Who else could top this list off (no pun intended!) better than Amber Rose? An ex-stripper turned fashion icon– how does that happen? Has anyone ever heard her even utter a full sentence? I won’t lie though– she is a bad chick but just like Kim K, if a man didn’t bring her to light then we wouldn’t have known.