Chad Ochocinco got in some heat because his breakfast cereal patched people in to a phone sex operator. Talk about sewing your oats.

milk-bath

But being fare, cereal has been guilty of subliminally sending sexual messages for years. Don’t believe us? Check out our R-rated breakfast club for proof.

1. Bear Naked

Bear Naked Granola

Disguised as a boring, healthy granola cereal the name Bear Naked is really imploring all you nudists  to find some porridge for your bowl.

2. Bamm-Bamm Berry Pebbles

bamm-bamm-front

Say it five times fast: Bam Bam buries Pebbles. Next thing you know necrophiliacs around the country are trying to make the Bed Rock.

3. Banana Nut Crunch

banana-nut-crunch

Bananas? Nuts? Too easy…

4. Yogurt Burst Cheerios

Yogurt-burst cheerios

The breakfast of Ononist champions everywhere. We hear a Shake Weight is the secret prize inside.

5. Honey Smacks

Hunysmacks

Doing breakfast froggy style for decades, it hurts so good. Whips and chains not included.

6. Nut’N Honey

Nut n Honey Cereal

Nuts? Honey? Too easy…

7. Cocoa Puffs

cocoapuffs

We all know which cocoa puffs he was really going coo-coo for. (We also think this was the munchie snack of choice for all of our chocolate tai smokers in the 90s.)

8. Hidden Treasures

hidden treasures cereal

Honey we don’t want it if it’s that easy! This discontinued cereal came complete with a sex robot named H.T. who had to figure out what was hidden inside each piece.

9. Undercover Bears

undercoverbears

Coming full circle (ahem ) these bears aren’t naked, instead they’re rocking trench coats looking like they’re ready to flash you as soon as this hot oatmeal cools off.

HONORABLE MENTION:

TRIX

trix

Silly Rabbit, some fools have to pay for it.

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Phone Number On Chad Ochocinco’s Cereal Leads You To Sex Line

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