Chad Ochocinco got in some heat because his breakfast cereal patched people in to a phone sex operator. Talk about sewing your oats.
But being fare, cereal has been guilty of subliminally sending sexual messages for years. Don’t believe us? Check out our R-rated breakfast club for proof.
1. Bear Naked
Disguised as a boring, healthy granola cereal the name Bear Naked is really imploring all you nudists to find some porridge for your bowl.
2. Bamm-Bamm Berry Pebbles
Say it five times fast: Bam Bam buries Pebbles. Next thing you know necrophiliacs around the country are trying to make the Bed Rock.
3. Banana Nut Crunch
Bananas? Nuts? Too easy…
4. Yogurt Burst Cheerios
The breakfast of Ononist champions everywhere. We hear a Shake Weight is the secret prize inside.
5. Honey Smacks
Doing breakfast froggy style for decades, it hurts so good. Whips and chains not included.
6. Nut’N Honey
Nuts? Honey? Too easy…
7. Cocoa Puffs
We all know which cocoa puffs he was really going coo-coo for. (We also think this was the munchie snack of choice for all of our chocolate tai smokers in the 90s.)
8. Hidden Treasures
Honey we don’t want it if it’s that easy! This discontinued cereal came complete with a sex robot named H.T. who had to figure out what was hidden inside each piece.
9. Undercover Bears
Coming full circle (ahem ) these bears aren’t naked, instead they’re rocking trench coats looking like they’re ready to flash you as soon as this hot oatmeal cools off.
Silly Rabbit, some fools have to pay for it.
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