Welcome to “I’m Just Saying.” The Powers That Be over here said I needed to have a blog. Ask, and ye shall receive. If all goes according to plan, this blog should will be your one-stop shop for all things pop culture—with a twist of sarcasm. So, let the hate begin.
We are officially 33 days into the summer of 2008, and Hollywood has already managed to release 5,364 superhero or superhero-related movies. From Iron Man to The Fantastic Four III (some called it Sex In The City, but whatever), you can’t buy a bootleg this summer without it featuring someone with superpowers or a cool costume. And with Comic-Con starting today (no, I am not bitter about missing the real Nerdgasm event of the year…not at all), we can only guess that Hollywood sleazebag executives will be chomping at the bit to buy the rights to that next mutant-turned-savior-with-a-chip-on-his-shoulder blockbuster.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved Iron Man (no homo) and The Dark Knight (no homo squared), but when Tinseltown starts digging down deep into the vaults of Marvel and DC Comics for franchises like Ant-Man (no bullshit) and Plastic Man (seriously?!?!) it’s time for someone to close all the comic book stores in Los Angeles. We have all seen what happens when good comic books go bad movies. Does anyone need to be reminded of Catwoman or the Dolph Lundgren tour de force that was The Punisher? I didn’t think so. And for the record, I liked Ben Affleck as Daredevil.
Don’t even get me started on black superhero movies. There hasn’t been a good one since… ever. Blade? Nope. Hancock? Boo. Halle Berry as Storm? I think she’s the only actress who managed to screw up two iconic superheroines—she was also Catwoman—during one acting career. Here’s hoping Common can do right by us with his interpretation of The Green Lantern… if that ever happens.
I just want the good folks in Hollyweird to use some discretion. Like any other red-blooded American geek, I am eagerly anticipating The Watchmen, G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra and Wolverine movies. But if I get burned again like I did with Superman Returns or either version of The Hulk—both versions blew chunks—then I can’t say that I won’t be tempted to set fire to my Superman DVD boxed set and call it a day. So, happy con-ing, geeks! Just stay away from the fast-talking suits. I’m just saying…