kobe bryant kissing ringNo one likes an arrogant a**hole, but if that pompous individual happens to drop 81 points, 6 rebounds, 3 blocks and 2 assists in one NBA game, we’ll turn the other cheek! Kobe Bryant‘s attitude is often offensive to losers, but how mad can you be when he has five shiny reasons to be so damn confident?

Today, Bryant turned 34, and what better way to describe one of the greatest players to run the hardwood than with 14 quotes from none other than, well…himself (who else would be able to put such royalty into words?)

“These young guys are playing checkers. I’m out there playing chess.”

NBA Finals Game 5:  Boston Celtics v Los Angeles Lakers

Do you play Backgammon?

“I don’t want to be the next Michael Jordan, I only want to be Kobe Bryant.”

kobe bryant michael jordan

Michael Jordan: Who the h*ll is this? Kobe: You have something on the back of your sweater, let me get it.

“It doesn’t matter to me what place I get traded to. If I was traded someplace—I’d play anywhere.”

kobe bryant china

Unless it’s China…

“What I’m doing right now, I’m chasing perfection.”

kobe bryant gold medal

Kobe: Why is this person in my picture?

“I’ve played with IVs before, during and after games. I’ve played with a broken hand, a sprained ankle, a torn shoulder, a fractured tooth, a severed lip, and a knee the size of a softball. I don’t miss 15 games because of a toe injury that everybody knows wasn’t that serious in the first place.”kobe bryant hurt

Dammit, I scuffed my Kobe’s…

“I’m not the most patient of people.”

kobe bryant 24

Please. Bare with me.

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“We all know what flopping is when we see it. The stuff that you see is where guys aren’t really getting hit at all and are just flailing around like a fish out of water.”kobe bryant basketball

Flopping…just like my rap career did.

“If I panic, everyone else panics.”

Kobe Bryant of the Los Angeles Lakers st

This is true.

“The guy said NBA players are one in a million, … I said, ‘Man, look, I’m going to be that one in a million.”

Utah Jazz v Los Angeles Lakers, Game 2

Aaliyah is my favorite artist.

“I was just letting the shots fly. You know, I don’t leave any bullets in the chamber.”

kobe bryant

Unless Ron Artest is playing, you gotta have one on deck for his crazy a**

“I had some shots that I felt like I should’ve made; I just didn’t make them. I’m not going to shoot the ball great every night.”

kobe bryantDamn, if only I can pass the ball to myself…

“I’m not changing my game whatsoever”

kobe bryant jumping

dave chapelle meme

“I’ve pretty much done all I can here and, you know, God will carry me the rest of the way, so I’m pretty comfortable with that.”

San Antonio Spurs v Los Angeles Lakers, Game 2

He told me. We speak all the time…

“The whole Michael thing does drive me nuts sometimes because people won’t leave it alone. He’s bald, I have hair. He’s almost 40, I’m 22. Seriously though, I wish people would let it be and let me just be Kobe.”

NBA Finals Game 1: Los Angeles Lakers v Boston Celtics
Jordan has six rings, I have five.



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