The holiday season is creeping up on us like Big Worm preparing to do a drive-by on Craig and Smokey. Just because it’s the holiday season doesn’t mean ratchet predicaments won’t present themselves.
Case in point: right after I became old enough to have a drink legally, I went to a Christmas dinner at a church member’s home. Everything was all “Joy To The World” until my ex walked in the door.
We met at church and wound up dating for about a year and change. But being in my early twenties, i wanted to live young, wild, and free. I admit I some things I shouldn’t have like lying and cheating. So when my ex-girlfriend spotted me enjoying the party, she became incensed because we had broken maybe a week before. So the I-just-got-cheated-on wounds were very fresh. Hence the reason why she walked over to me and slapped the taste out of my mouth. In hindsight, I can readily admit I deserved everything I got, but at the time, I looked at things very differently. My reaction was to get loud and start talking all types off crazy mess until an elder stepped in.
After that experience, I said to myself, “I wish there was some sort of how-to guide for a situation like this.” While I never actually found a legit guide for reacting in awkward situations like that, I can offer a few tips just in case this happens to you. You never know what the holidays will bring, right?
1. Make Sure You’re Over The Ex
Before you sit down to a dinner table with the ex you just spent a significant amount of time with, make sure you have sorted out any lingering feelings. You don’t want to be the one replaying love making sessions and romantic walks in the park in your head while everyone is celebrating sweet baby Jesus’ birth. Plus, God might smite thee for coveting. It is a sin you know. On top of that you would seem like a silent thirst bucket. And who wants to be looked at as a thirst bucket? Trust me you don’t want to wind up having a conversation with your ex’s new main squeeze like Julia Roberts did in “My Best Friend’s Wedding.”
2. Keep Snide Remarks To Yourself No Matter How Tempting
If you wind up at a holiday dinner with your ex and they have new arm candy, be respectful to the arm candy. They don’t know you and they owe you nothing. Please do not get mad at them for keeping your ex-boo warm at night. Be respectful even if they are intentionally looking to get a rise out of you. The best look for you is to look like you’re above the immaturity. Also, it gives you a chance to appear as the bigger person. Check out how Ben Stiller kept his cool around Owen Wilson in “Meet the Parents.”
3. If You Must Argue, Not In Front Of Friends
Sometimes, seeing an ex can immediately dredge up memories and emotions from the past. If those feelings are negative and you can’t bear to hold your tongue, take the person away from the rest of the party to hash it out briefly. Why take them aside?
Did you not read my story in the intro? Yelling and cussing in public is already frowned upon. But it’s worse when you’re airing things out and you have mutual friends there. Whose side do they choose? They don’t know and neither do you. Take it outside. Less mess is best. Watch how messy Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn got at game night in “The Break-Up” and do the exact opposite!
Send us your tips for surviving a holiday dinner with your ex in our comment section.
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