Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos said in an interview on “60 Minutes” that ‘octocopter” drones would be employed by the online retailer to deliver packages up to five pounds over short distances from their distribution center. This is the closest we’ve come to “The Jetsons” since your boss became able to stalk your movements at home over Skype.
While Bezos says the aerial vehicles may not be put into use for another four of five years, we can think of some other real life applications for the drones if he wants to hire out the army for other uses.
5) Weed Carrier
Every enterprising cannibus supplier should have a back-up delivery plan for busy days like 4/20. Plus a drone is ideal for the local hand-offs and will negate the need for your dealer to break down your order into forty-five felony free amounts. As a bonus it can be programmed to rap like Gudda Gudda on command.
4) The Break-Up Drone
You and the significant other have called it quits and you want to return that one item, but fear if you deliver it in person you might become a Worldstar camera phone victim. Said item is a little too…umm…sensitive to send via mail so use the Break-Up drone, especially fitted with a foam finger to say deuces in style.
3) The Snitch Drone
Is your girl always working late or having “car trouble” late at night? Send that snitch drone to keep an eye on her with the Carl Zeiss lens and microphone and find out if you need to make those New Year’s Eve plans for one.
2) Baby Sitter Drone
It’s ladies free before 11 night at the club and you have got to get your two-step on, but you can’t find a sitter. No need to shirk your parental responsibilities because the Babysitter Drone will feed and discipline your school aged children (sorry, the drone doesn’t do diapers).
1) The Wingman
Thanks to the other four drones you are now single, high and in the club looking for a new girlfriend. You find a woman that you want to buy a drink or three for, but she’s glued at the hip to a chaperone. Send in the drone, the ultimate wingman with wings, to entice her companion with a game of Candy Crush or stupid digital pet tricks so you can show her how cool you are–despite your drone army.
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