Cousin Sal From Jimmy Kimmel Live Gets a Friday Night SmackDown

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I think Vince McMahon is a genius. He took a sport that on the surface seems like a terrible career choice, and turned it into a billion dollar sports entertainment company. That is a phenomenal feat in itself. In all my years of watching wrestling, I’ve seen various highs and lows. For every Hulk Hogan, there’s a Hurricane, and for every Bam Bam Bigelow, there’s a Bastion Booger. Sometimes, the character isn’t the problem, but the person behind the character. That’s how I feel about Adam Rose and the Exotic Express. I honestly think the gimmick is dope, he’s just not rocking it right. I think “The Bunny” was brought in and given some shine for that very reason.

There are some past and present superstars that I feel would have gotten over big with this gimmick and it would have definitely solidified or saved their careers if given the opportunity.

Here are my three better leads for the Exotic Express.

1. John Morrison: With his look, athletic ability and being called “The Monday Night Delight,” he would KILL this character! Morrison wasn’t the best mic man but with the Express, you can throw a female counterpart in the mix that blends and BAM! He’s possibly Main Event worthy. He captured the Tag and IC title barely saying a word. Feeding off The Miz really helped him out when they tagged, and it would definitely be ideal for this as well. Not necessarily The Miz now, but a Miz-like personality to propel him.

2. Heath Slater: This could be the defining piece of Heath’s WWE career. The Nexus didn’t work, 3MB didn’t work and the Proud American Country Boy does not work! He has twice the charisma Adam Rose has and should definitely be leading the Exotic Express. Slater’s not quite the high flyer Morrison is, but he has some of that ability in him, and his ability to draw heat and get over is uncanny!

What could writers could do right now? Set a quick story line between Slater and Rose, and have them in a match to determine who gets the Exotic Express. That match could open Wrestlemania or it could be part of the pre show. Another possible write in: Slater could be the Bunny and reveal himself and takes Rose out. I’m good with either option and I think it helps Heath Slater flourish and really take it next level.

3. Drew McIntyre: Once regarded as the guy who was going to be the next “Cena or Orton” of the new generation by Vince McMahon, Drew McIntyre fell completely off the map in more ways than one. Good skills finisher and I think he had one of the best entrance songs ever with Broken Dreams, even won the IC title. So how on earth he ended up being 2nd air guitar in 3MB before being released is quite baffling.

Drew is just another guy with the right look for the character. He could take more of a “Val Venis” or even “Early Fandango” racy erotic approach to make this work as far as being on the mic. He may not have the ability to fly like Morrison or Slater but he wins with charisma and solid ring ability.

Everything about the Exotic Express works except the guy leading it. Adam Rose is better off being a member of the Ascension or saying he’s Skinner’s son.


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