Chris Brown & Karreuche

Source: Noam Galai / Getty

Mere moments into her edition of “Iyanla Exclusive,” Karrueche Tran, answered the question I and many others wondered: Why in the hell would she elect to do this show? Tran answered by telling the also curious Iyanla Vanzant, “I want my voice to be heard.” As much as the public has judged her for relationship with on again, off again boyfriend Chris Brown to mistreat her, it’s easy to understand why.

Unfortunately, “Iyanla Exclusive: Karrueche Tran” wasn’t the best forum for an otherwise reasonable goal. Based on her manager’s interjection at one point during the interview, those closed to Tran began to draw the same realization.

Iyanla Vanzant, who I often like to Mama Odie from The Princess and the Frog, is that auntie I never tell my business to ’cause I know it’s only a matter of time before I say, “Girl, gon’ and leave me alone.”

Based on what little viewing of the show I’ve seen in the past, Vanzant has a knack for putting the onus of dating a problematic man onto the woman. Sure, we have to all recognize what is it about us that draws these people, but one part of life—particularly when you’re 26-years-old—is learning to see who you mesh with and who you don’t. That times time. It’s all about trial and error. Very few have their romantic lives figured out in their mid-20s.

And for all her stabs at Tran for dating Chris Brown, presumably because he’s rich and famous, Vanzant sounded like an elder stateswoman of “Team Breezy” with some of her line of questioning. Say, “Where was Chris Brown taking you to dinner?” What soul searching can be taken out of that inquiry, beloveds?

In others, Vanzant just sounded judgmental—notably when she asked Tran, “Did you sleep with him too fast?” Also: “So are you clear you are famous by association?”

It is also came across extremely low and petty to question Tran when she says Brown loved her. Maybe he didn’t know how to love her because he’s so broken himself, but it felt unnecessary to project doubt onto that sentiment.

And spare me the “daddy-less daughter” commentary and that acronym for bitch, which is apparently a “Broad In [Total] Control of Herself.”

That said, Vanzant did make some solid points, particularly when she made said points clear to Tran:

“You can’t delude yourself into thinking he’s just a regular person.”

The same goes for assuming you can change a person, especially someone as stubborn as Chris Brown seems to be.

I felt bad for Tran when she made comments like, “I wanted to love him because that’s what he needs.” She took him to church and to yoga. She tried to get him to meditate. She tried to put Chris Brown on all of the things that made her what appears to be a genuinely nice person. Trouble is though, you can’t save Chris Brown; he doesn’t want to be saved.

Now, many of us can say we wouldn’t have put up with his nonsense, especially when it was so public. To hear Chris Brown decided on Christmas Day to just up and leave Tran in his condo while he went a date with Rihanna to a nationally televised professional basketball game was infuriating. As was word that she found out via social media that Chris Brown knocked another woman up.

It’s so easy to hear this and immediately think to wag your finger at Tran, but considering how dumb I’ve been about a man before, I want to exercise restraint. Unlike Iyanla, I don’t want to make Tran feel bad about her present emotions. She is human.

Still, when Tran says, “I want to be able to clear it up and tell my story—my side,” the problem here is she doesn’t even seem to know what her side totally is and whether or not this story is done.

It’s been all of a few weeks since she discovered Brown’s new baby. Tran clearly wasn’t completely confident in her response about letting him go completely. I hope she’s stern in her declarations that she’ll never allow another man to disrespect her this way.

For her sake, I hope she stays true to that promise, because at this point, if she takes Chris Brown back, she has to live with the reality that she’s made it all the more harder for herself to escape ridicule.

Michael Arceneaux hails from Houston, lives in Harlem, and praises Beyoncé’s name wherever he goes. Follow him @youngsinick.