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Eddie Murphy searching for the perfect woman in "Coming To America."

Dear Black Man,

I am a 25-year-old male. I have no children and I am finishing up my B.S. in Criminal Justice. I am not a skinny guy but not overweight either. Over the years I have had a tendency to attract the wrong type of women, the ones who have abandonment issues, drama, ghetto mentality, etc. My question is what am I doing wrong in attracting these women and what can I do to find the right one who will not play me for a fool or mess with my emotions? I am getting to the point in my life where I want to find the woman I can share my life with. What can I do to rectify this problem?

– Mr. T

The Black Man:

Hi Mr. T,

This is a cycle that is not difficult to break and it will take a real dose of introspection to do so. You should take a look within yourself and you should be able identify why you have been attracted to these types of females. It could possibly be from a relationship you have observed from within your family at young age, a possible dynamic in your parents’ relationship, or something occurred in your past. If you take some time to look within yourself you will get to the crux of the matter.

Also, where are you meeting these people? Perhaps you may want to change up the places where you are going to meet females. For example, if you are going to a club that has a “ghetto” clientele then that is the type of female you will be prone to meet there.

Lastly, I suggest you write up a list of the characteristics you’d like to find in a woman. This will bring clarity to what you want and will keep you on course in finding that woman to settle down with.

I hope this helps.

Good Luck.

TBM

Have a question for The Black Man? Send your questions to Asktheblackman@gmail.com or hit him on Blackplanet.com HERE.

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