Have you ever noticed that celebrities always have beef, but never actually fight? We have witnessed celebrities refer to their enemy as “ugly, homosexual, a Tae-Bo h*e, negro, rat,” and other unmentionable things but nothing too physical ever happens(unless your 50 Cent and get shot).
There are 3 moves that you need (yup- only 3) to be a master fighter in “celebrity land.” I’ll even break them down for you:
Move #1- The Drink Throw
You don’t need to know how to fight but you do need to know how to order water( anything else would just be ridiculous). Here’s what you do:
– Invite your enemy to a sit down brunch.
– When the waiter comes by, order two drinks, one to throw and one to actually drink (stay hydrated).
– Wait until you have gotten into a heated argument, then grasp the cup in your hand, aim, draw back, and release with force.
Example: Evelyn From The Basketball Wives
Move #2- The Sucker Punch
This gets tricky because this is where things get physical…
Once again, you do not need to know how to fight (it would be better if you did) but you do need to know how to punch.
– Ball up fist tightly.
– Wait until your opponent is in the middle of doing something like rapping, so that they are distracted.
– With mighty force, extend the arm and make contact with the persons jaw.
Example: Kesan From G’s To Gents
E-N-J & Niks
Move #3- Twitter Thuggin’
Twitter makes it easy to be a bully, and if you are a celebrity it makes it extremely easy to “come at” another.
Tweeting isn’t hard at all, all you require is a computer, Internet, and twitter account.
– Go to twitter.com, sign up, and build your friend list.
– Follow Kat Stacks (she’s hilarious)
– Be creative and @ your enemy with your favorite punch line- that’s it!
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