With 2013’s Black History Month in our rearview, it’s always good to reflect on some of the moments created during the 28-day celebration of Blackness. Normally the month is chock-full of shining examples of how to move us forward as a people with pride and dignity. In true “make something out of nothing” fashion we take the shortest month of the year and fill it with a years worth of highlights.
Unfortunately, the citizens of the Ratchet Republic were allowed into the party… and they treated Black History Month like a 2am Waffle House stop, creating enough buffoonish bad looks to bring Black people to the brink of an all out coon apocalypse. Despite the dignity that should have been the goal, colored folk across the country seemed hell bent on giving Uncle Ruckus a reason to smile.
In the interest of the public safety, we at The Urban Daily decided to compile a list of some moments that made us feel as if the 28 days of February were about 20 days too long.
10) Men arrested for stealing $65,000 in chicken wings.
This was a def-coon nine alert all the way. It’s only number 10 because it happened on Jan 28th. But it already showed what kind of ratchetness we had to look forward to in February.
9) ASAP Rocky & Danny Brown on Coonin with Kathy Griffin.
These two rappers from the hoods of NY and Detroit drooling over Kathy Griffin? The two went so far as to suck on her breasts and kiss her stomach in the least hood dice game ever. Image is nothing… but thirst is EVERYTHING on T.V.
8) The Dream and his Swap-Meet Grammy gear.
On a night with the entire music world watching, in a world where Hip-Hop is STILL fighting for respect, a multi-millionaire feels the need to accept the music industries highest reward dressed like a carwash worker.
7) The emergence of ATL Metro Mall security guard Darien Long.
One man (and his taser) verses the worst hood rats, thug bums, Bebe kids and B.S. the hoods of ATL can provide. So much dysfunction, such little mall to patrol…
6) Lil Wayne announcing what he did with Chris Bosh’s wife.
Lil Wayne went on a rant against The Miami Heat during All-Star Weekend that included sharing way too much about what he’d done sexually with Chris Bosh’s wife before she was married. All this is stemming from the Heat players not taking time to talk to him DURING the game? Wayne really sounded like a disgruntled girl. Suddenly, the tights don’t look so out of place on him.
5) Waka Flacka Flame, the man who claimed that he wanted to go school to study Geometry, declared to the Breakfast Club – “You don’t need no education for rapping...”
What he forgot to add was… ”like me.”
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4) Reverend Alois Bell using God to justify leaving a 10% tip.
How you gonna get Jesus to co-sign you being cheap? You really think after handing out free fish and wine, God’s son would have a prob with 18%? Then waitress Chelsea Welch get fired by Applebee’s for posting this receipt on Reddit as proof of her unholy gratuity.
A two-time member of this list, Lil Wayne decided that he wanted to denigrate Black History Month on by dropping the line “I beat the p*ssy up like Emmett Till” on the “Karate Chop” remix. Emmett Till was a 14-year-old Chicago boy that was murdered in Mississippi in 1955 by two white men for allegedly speaking to a white woman. Somewhere, the KKK was loving life while MLK was spinning in his grave. Even Stevie Wonder saw how wrong it was. The family demanded an apology but never got one. Number one with a bullet, Lil Wayne.
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