5 Misconceptions About Having A Side Chick

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Urban America’s favorite show, “Love & Hip Hop,” should really be called “Fighting & F*cking.” The only time Hip-Hop gets mentioned – or so it seems – is when a cast member wants to show off their relevance. By far, one of the most fascinating characters is Stevie J, who is now more notorious for his creepy, rat-like scowl & sex offender swagger than he is for the numerous Bad Boy Records hits he helped churn out in the 90’s.

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Stevie J is a man who loves women, so much so that he can’t seem to choose between his baby momma Mimi and one of his artists that he just might be in love with known as Joseline Hernandez. This pretzled plot line makes for plenty of awkwardly entertaining mayhem, because it’s clear that he’s not able to pick one woman. If you ask me, I think he fell in love with both, but still wants to live life as a sexual predator mack daddy. Had Stevie done a little research, he could’ve avoided the sand trap he seems so comfortable in on every drama-drenched episode. See, there’s a certain etiquette to having a main girl and a side chick, and apparently Stevie only knows about the misconceptions, as do most men. Peep a few misconceptions most men have about conducting sidepiece relations make sure you don’t fall victim.

Misconception #1: She Should Look Better Than Your Main Girl
This is a definitive no-no. That’s a straight shot to over-shooting your target. If your intention is to have a friend on the side, don’t complicate it with things like beauty. Really though, the easier it is to stare at her is the harder it’ll be to leave. I’m not suggesting you hang with a boogerwolf, but there’s no need to further tempt yourself with a hot chick. No reason to carry a dime when a nickel will do just fine.

Misconception #2: You Need To Spend Quality Time With Her
Unless you plan on replacing your current love interest, there’s no tangible logic behind getting to know her, and vice versa. And yes, it’s entirely possible to spend time with someone without knowing their life story. You don’t need to tell her yours, either. Save all that mental intimacy for the person who actually deserves it.

Misconception #3: The Sex Should Be Incredible
False. All bullsh*t aside, there’s a thin line between good sex and makin’ love. A wise man knows the difference between the two, and when to do which. Not knowing the difference between a soul connection and some slap ‘n’ tickle can have devastating effects. Avoiding those effects is relatively easy because your side chick shouldn’t ever be at the business end of any bone-jarring sex unless you’re ready to face the consequences. These include stalking, pregnancy, possible fights between her and your real girlfriend, etc. Tread lightly on unknown soil, my friends.

Misconception #4: There Should Be A Deep Connection Between You Two
Romantic candle-lit dinners and soft music isn’t to be shared with just anyone. That’s an environment you want to share with someone you trust and care about, not somebody whose number is stored in the phone under a fictitious name or title like “Cousin T.” If she’s not good enough to be your girl, she’s perfect for fast food. No intended disrespect to any professional side orders, I’m just saying.

Misconception #5: You Have To Lie To Kick It
Negative. If ever there was a time to be honest-ish, it’s now. If she doesn’t know she’s your extra value meal, then you’re already in some sort of violation. Now you have to live that lie inside of the lie you’re currently living. It’s like the movie “Inception,” with more humor and (probably) less White people. You want your side chick to understand her place in your universe – upfront and blatantly – unless you enjoy grocery store parking lot cat fights, paying for key scratch damage to your car, and/or death threats.

I don’t advise nor promote cheating, so this is just some friendly advice to be taken at face value. However, make no mistakes; Stevie knows exactly what he’s doing. And for the record, I wouldn’t advise such a kamikaze technique to any amateurs.

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